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Private counselling

SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
edited November 2021 in Health & Wellbeing
Has anyone done it and how much did you pay for it. If okay To ask?

The nhs is only offering me online therapy MBT which I have to put myself on a waiting list for. I don’t like online therapy and I don’t want to wait. I’m struggling so bad now need help
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited November 2021
    Best thing to do is use this site https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/ and put in your area. A range of counselors will come up and if you click on their profile it gives a about them, what they specialise in, sometimes photos of their counseling room and the price of sessions. Some are willing to drop the price if you ask and say about low income / key worker and there's a few other reasons I can't remember. They are listed on the site
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,617 Legendary Poster
    I’m fairly sure my dad did some private counselling a while back and it was about £60 for a session. It’s worth a shot if you can afford it.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Oh thank you! My family said will pay Private DBT for me. But that can be £150 for one session like they they wouldn’t be able to afford that
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,617 Legendary Poster
    I guess the price will depend on the type of counselling. Defo worth looking online for counsellors and seeing what sort of prices they do.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    The link I posted is good for finding therapy
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2021
    Yeah they can drop the price if have low income. But my income really just depends depending on how much over time I do.

    I’ve found the counsellor I had from rape crisis. I have actually once asked her for private therapy but she didn’t seem to want me back lol. Well she was concerned that I was living off £200 a month and would pay for travel and counselling would basically be all my money. But I mean I have more hours now so i don’t know if she’d want me now. I did like her but I think maybe I want a more younger person. Her site says she pays £35 a sesson which I guess isn’t too bad. That’s £140 a month which I could actually afford without my family’s help so maybe they’re all around that price
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    It's worth reaching out to that counselor and seeing if she responds
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited November 2021
    Nvm.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Sometimes they might call there session fee a “sliding scale” that usually indicates that there session fee is based on how much you earn/can afford etc
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Millie2787 wrote: »
    Sometimes they might call there session fee a “sliding scale” that usually indicates that there session fee is based on how much you earn/can afford etc

    That’s really good and fair way to do it!
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie wrote: »
    Millie2787 wrote: »
    Sometimes they might call there session fee a “sliding scale” that usually indicates that there session fee is based on how much you earn/can afford etc

    That’s really good and fair way to do it!

    yeh when I was looking for a therapist quite a few do this. A lot of them do a free initial session too so you can meet them and ask any questions and kinda get a feel for the therapist and if you wanna work with them. So its worth checking that too. I think I met 3 different therapists at first then chose meg
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Millie2787 wrote: »
    Sometimes they might call there session fee a “sliding scale” that usually indicates that there session fee is based on how much you earn/can afford etc

    Oh noo!

    I wanted to go private this year but I never got round to doing it because I'm stingy lol. But if there's a sliding scale I'll probably be paying a lot but I want to save my money😅
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    Salix_alba_2019 wrote: »
    Millie2787 wrote: »
    Sometimes they might call there session fee a “sliding scale” that usually indicates that there session fee is based on how much you earn/can afford etc

    Oh noo!

    I wanted to go private this year but I never got round to doing it because I'm stingy lol. But if there's a sliding scale I'll probably be paying a lot but I want to save my money😅

    but think of it this way: How much is good mental health worth to you? Can you put a price on it? (feeling philosophical lol)
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Jellyelephant wrote: »
    Salix_alba_2019 wrote: »
    Millie2787 wrote: »
    Sometimes they might call there session fee a “sliding scale” that usually indicates that there session fee is based on how much you earn/can afford etc

    Oh noo!

    I wanted to go private this year but I never got round to doing it because I'm stingy lol. But if there's a sliding scale I'll probably be paying a lot but I want to save my money😅

    but think of it this way: How much is good mental health worth to you? Can you put a price on it? (feeling philosophical lol)

    I think this but then I’m like but I also need the money for retail therapy lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    graciepetersgraciepeters Posts: 4 Newbie
    I've been in hypnotherapy for a few years now, with my therapist she charges £50 an hour which I understand is quite pricy, but I can honestly say its personally helped me more than any other forms of therapy so I would defiantly recommend ☺️ if you have any questions at all I'd be more than happy to help xxx
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    @Jellyelephant woah great question!

    Honestly it's worth a lot lol
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    MaisyMaisy Moderator Posts: 627 Incredible Poster
    Some private counsellors may offer discounts if you are unemployed or on benefits.

    It's also best to make sure that whichever counsellor you choose, they are registered with a professional body. Most common organisations are the BACP, UKCP, NCS or COSCA (Scotland). Often these organisations will have registers (e.g. the BACP register ) which you can check to make sure that the counsellor you choose is registered with a professional organisation. This is important to know as many of these organisations require counsellors to train to a certain level, pass exams and pay a fee to be registered, so you know that they are legitimate. Also, if you ever have any complaints about a counsellor e.g. they are behaviour unprofessionally without boundaries, then you can make a complaint to the organisation that the therapist is associated with, who should take appropriate action.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you all. But everyone who has got back to me said they aren’t taking new clients. Maybe it’s because I mentioned I have BPD ?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Ed_Ed_ Moderator Posts: 1,551 Extreme Poster
    I wouldn't read too much into it @Shaunie - counsellors tend to be quite up front if they feel like they aren't the best person to support you and so if it were to do with BPD, then I think they would say that and suggest a more specific type of therapist. From a few people I know who are counsellors, their caseloads are quite high at the moment and so may just not have space. Definitely worth trying a few more or even getting back to those that have said they aren't taking on clients to see if they would recommend anyone.

    If you do start counselling privately, remember that it is about finding the right type of therapy and also the right person to be working with. You don't need to stick with someone because it feels awkward to stop if you don't feel they are the right person. Equally, it can be helpful to ask them at the start around when would be a good point to review how things are going, as they may have an idea around how long they feel it usually needs before you both get a sense of how the relationship is going.
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    MaisyMaisy Moderator Posts: 627 Incredible Poster
    I agree with Ed not to read too much into it. Since we're still in a pandemic then there might've been an increase in the need for therapy so it might be that therapists are fully booked for a while. And DBT is most often used to treat people with BPD so practitioners offering DBT probably wouldn't be discriminating against people with BPD for having BPD.

    That said, I do understand that with BPD comes a stigma and that some people wrongly discriminate against those with BPD. If you feel that might be the case, then as Ed has said, you might be better off not having them as your therapist. If you don't feel comfortable mentioning that you have BPD then you don't have to mention your diagnosis, at least, not until you feel more comfortable with your therapist.
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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