To All - Im Sorry
maddie050
Posts: 47 Boards Initiate
take care!!! ill try an visit. take care.
-Maddie
The police did come to my house. we had a chat, it was weird. And of course i lied to them. my parents were so so mad. After a chat, the police left my house, feeling i was safe. my dad got really mad. my mum got angry and said she wished she aborted me - no worried, she says stuff like that out of anger, she really doesnt mean it - and so i tried to leave the house that night, but my dad and siblings stopped me. the next morning, they punished me by taking everything i used to make time fly, and made me stand in this corner, they said i was going to stay in that corner for days. this made me even more distressed and emotionally unstable.
once my parents left the house to go shopping the next morning, my brother was kept in charge, and told to keep an eye on me, he also was told to keep the house keys with him at all times. but i told him i was going for a shower and so i went upstairs, but i got changed into some clothes, and took a jacket and some trainers downstairs. he didnt see me. then he shouted if i was here, and i just said that i was brushing my hair, but i slipped on my shoes and ran out of the back door which was left wide open - lol - i climbed and jumped off two walls, and ran as fast as i could. my brother knew i left, because theres CCTV around my house.
once i left, i just walked places. i didnt know where to go, i didnt know my way round places, since my parents didnt really let me out. i went into town for a few hours, and a friend spotted me, i told her everything, and she understood because she has ran away before too. we both went into parks and had a really fun time. id never felt so happy! later on in the day, we went to my best friends house, we told her too. she said that the police were looking for me, and that its on a website... she said i could sleep over at hers, also with her mums permission.
however, my best friend said that we would have to go and come back at 9PM, since she was going out somewhere with her family. so me and my other friend walked around and had a laugh for ages, and had a stop at her house which she had offered me some food, but i had lost my appetite, i didnt want to eat or drink. she tried to make me, but it didnt work, but i still thanked her. then we headed out again, it was so fun. out of all of the 6 weeks holiday, that was my favourite day.
suddenly, on our way to my best friends house, we were heading down an alleyway, but two police officers saw us, they only asked me for my name, i didnt speak, so they asked if i was Madison. out of nowhere, i said 'no'. but they knew i was. so they forced me into their police car, which gave me bruised all over my arms. and took me home straight away. my dad was mad, everyone was mad. my dad sent me to bed, and so i went to my room, and i couldnt sleep for the whole time, i just lay there, thinking of another plan to escape.
since my brothers were sleeping downstairs, i had to get out another way. so i thought of this window which is above my doorstep. i had to be careful sneaking to the room with the window, 2 of my brothers were being cautious that night, they caught me once, and i made an excuse saying that i was going toilet, they brushed it off. i tried a second time, this time with my shoes on. i made it to the window. it was the second floor window. bear in mind that we were in a victorian house. i jumped out of the window. and... i broke my ankle. still determined to get away, i hopped... that night, that jump looked no where near high, now that i look at it, its really high. i must have been crazy. but it was so stupid.
when i hopped across the road, i lost my hearing, and was about to collapse on the road... but i carried on. about 2 minutes later, a police car pulled up beside me, there was one of the police officers i met before, who came to my house a while ago, for one of the same reasons. he was really nice. they helped me into the car. went to my house, spoke to my dad who was the one who called them, my,dad said to me that he heard a thud on the ground. and looked at the road from his window and saw me. then the police drove me to the QMC, 2 of my brothers came with, they mocked me and called me stupid, which i guess i could agree on.
i stayed in hospital for a little less than 2 days. social services introduced CAMHS.. i had my first meeting with them a few weeks ago... so awkward. i dont know what is happening next... i had the meeting the day after i got my cast taken off my ankle. i had it on for about 6 and a half weeks. i had to have cruches which i also had to use at school for about 5 weeks, so horrible. ive learned that i should never jump from second storey windows, they said if i landed on my head, i would have passed right there.
im doing okay now, it looks like my family are a little less angry. i hope you all improve!
Comments
sending lots of love,hugs and kisses!!!
xx
It sounds like you've been going through an incredibly tough time over the last few months. I'm so sorry to hear about your parents and how you were feeling through all of that. I can't imagine how difficult that might have been for you. From reading everything that happened, I just wanted to say how strong and brave you really are. I'm glad to hear you're doing a little better now and getting some support from CAMHS. It sounds like you're feeling a little scared and unsure about what happens next which is completely understandable. Would you like to talk about that a bit more? I know quite a few people have experience with CAMHS which they might be able to share with you if you want to make a post about that.
We're always here for you anytime you want to talk, you're never alone Maddie. Keep us updated with how everything is going
and id love to start a thread about that, thanks for the idea
and thanks to all who send hugs! your all the best and you are all a wonderful community!
hope to talk tomorrow. goodnight.
- Maddie
Take care of yourselves, have a nice day
Welcome back
Much love
Hope your days been good, how you feeling?
Thanks for the support
Take care.
I'm happy to see you too!
-Maddie
Thanks for the welcome back!
Welcome back! No need to apologise at all - your happiness and wellbeing will always be so important. We are all here for you!
Thanks for the welcome!
Have a nice day, thanks again!
-Maddie
Welcome back! There is no need to apologise at all, it sounds like you have been going through a really tough time over the past few months and it's good that you felt able to reach out here.
I hope things continue to improve, please keep us updated
Jade