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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I want to just hurt myself..
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited October 2019
    I dont think im 'looking' into this too much lol but my eyes i feel like i only look out of one eye? Is that normal? (Do actually reply if know). I feel i only look out of my right eye and thats why my left is slightly smaller. I may maybe over analyising these thing. But say you look ahead.... one eye is looking at it more than the other even tho straight forward? Or if both eyes looked at them equally youd be cross eyed?   I always see the right side of my nose cause feel i only use my right eye and not so much my left eye? I dont have a lazy eye btw
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I don't want this anymore :'( Please let me go.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Omg i feel so bad 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Wish this pain would do one, I need sleep! 😓😓 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I really wish I didn't feel so empty. I don't enjoy anything and it just feels so miserable and dull. And I'm sick of feeling no sense of identity because of it. It's so suffocating and honestly, life looks stupid because who wants to live an existence with no happiness?
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Hateee myself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sending hugs to those who need them <3
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I can't see any light in the future and yeah. I want to kill myself. But I don't have access right now so I'll be safe like usual.

    There's no hope. Maybe I'll see the doctor on Tuesday but my mind has me convinced that I'm just a bother so I should spare her from me. I really think I'm a lost cause and it's better to die now then to suffer for years longer knowing life is hell.
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Finshed work early, even better 😊
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I really wanna end it, please help. I really can't be safe forever (not a plan).

    The pressure of growing up (as cliched as that could sound) is really getting to me. I'm not ready to turn 15 because I feel like there's no hope and nothing to look forward to, and that I need to make a move on with things but that I just don't feel able. I don't have the energy for just being alive, how will I have the energy to work and pay bills and take on all those responsibilities? How will I live as a 20 year old who knows her life isn't going anywhere and that she's living a dull, miserable hell? How can I get the energy and hope to start doing exams or practicing music or any of those things I have to do? I want to stop time, not even stop fighting, but stop time so I can just lay in bed and very slowly try to work through things. Or maybe go back to a 12 year old so I feel I have a couple of years to do absolutely nothing. I just keep thinking about how I want to be dead before my birthday. That clearly can't happen so I'm going to spend it very suicidal and crying when my gran wants me to go all the way to Birmingham to celebrate. Uh yeah, good luck.

    It's like I've been cut off from enjoyment, nothing gives me it anymore and I don't think anyone realises how awful it feels. I'm not numb, I still feel something, but the happiness just isn't there, I can't bring it back. I'm sick of it. And I'm sick of feeling so sad, hopeless, unmotivated, and unlikeable, and worthless. Please, honest to god - I need to feel better or I need to kill myself. My mind's portrait of life is an awful one and I don't want it.
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Fed up of constantly giving but when I need something back, I become utterly invisible
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Head is hurting sooo much 😓😓😓😓😓 & im soo tired
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Family saying im too skinny 😭😭😭😭😭😭trying to feed me shit😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sorry, I know I've got to stop whining so much but there's no one else to really say it to. I feel like I've got to die and soon. I just don't see hope. (Don't mean plans).
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    tkdogtkdog Posts: 281 The Mix Regular
    Sometimes i wanna just hide away from everything. Except im also sociable and love to talk. It's just it's hard to find people to talk to who accept you for who you are. Nobody really accepts me and i only really find friends on the internet. I can talk to lots people irl but there will always be this distance in most cases between me and them. The few people  i tried trusting let me down its hard to continue.

    Also i dun like how people are dicating what u should where whats nice blah blah like gtfo especially relatives like. Sometimes i think i might dress a bit nicer (but its hard i hardly go shopping and my parents still restrict me a lot cos i cant get to buy what i wanna buy only what they think i "need") but when also the criticism is also sexist targeted mainly towards women it shows what it really is as well as the fact i decide my own style.
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,032 Boards Guru
    Sending you lots and lots of hugs @Kathleen07. I can really hear how much you're hurting. We're here for you always <3
    penguin hug GIF
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    So many gross sick bugs going around, managed to avoid them so far, surprising because of the environment I work in. However the awful cold I had s few weeks ago has come back, my throat feels like sandpaper.

    Why can't my body just catch a break? Like I just want to have a day without physical pain or some stupid sickness. 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Thank you so much for all your kindness @Aife, sending hugs back <3

    I still feel incredibly shit but my mind's telling me to shut up because I'm either annoying, or putting strain on my family. I've sort of been wanting to email the Samaritans for a while but I'm so convinced that I don't deserve help and would be unwelcomed. My mom thinks I "really should keep" my next doctors appointment on Tuesday but I'm just like, no because A, I can't be helped and B, I don't deserve help and C, I want to die. I don't know why people bother keeping up with all these appointments when I don't go lol.
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Left my bedroom to get food and drink, that's about as much as I feel like doing today
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Beat aint telling me why i was banned.... are they even allowed to do that... cant just ban people randomly i did nothing wrong 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Ffs woken up feeling so awful
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,796 Master Poster
    Sooooo tired. Haven't slept at all for the past 20 hours. Probably getting no sleep when I get home because it will be 6am.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,796 Master Poster
    Kasa2103 said:
    Sooooo tired. Haven't slept at all for the past 20 hours. Probably getting no sleep when I get home because it will be 6am.
    Traffic ended up being light so just got home. Still probably not getting any sleep. My dad is awake and going to get ready for work soon. Same with my sister. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    I feel so dead this morning, feel pretty sick, sore throat and feeling drizzle. Probably shouldn't go to college but I still am going.

    Hips are in a lot of pain, trying to figure out if their growing like the rest of my body or not
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Feel so tired, was anxious last night and kept having bad dreams about work (which I have all day) it’s my first day in on my own and I’m really panicking about it and being tired aswell is just a mess waiting to happen 😴
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Anxiety is being a bi**h today, constantly on the edge and worried. Been sick in the toilet again, just so shacky as well 😔
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm out with my mom and gran and I just want to go home. I feel like I'm going to cry. I'm not in the mood and I can't even arrive back home until 6pm. I'm really tired and down, and I had an awful dream last night which has left me feeling strange and upset. My mom and gran won't shut up either. I feel so awful. 
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