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Nobody. Nothing. Never

NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
edited September 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
Grief and emptiness for manipulation 
I’m always manipulated by my thoughts, my views, my opinions, my trust.
It doesn’t matter I’m damaged, contaminated, sad, scared, trapped, alone or dead inside.
Why empty of the bad things, the words, the silence of it all it’s all a secret. I’ve spoke about it all once, but it’s difficult to see me, I have thoughts but they stay as thoughts, scares me to say, but I’m not bothered of peoples judgments so why?
I grieve for the person I see in bad memories, in my nightmares. Little me.
I can’t cope with the burden of it all right now. 
I wasn’t completely broken then, I am now.

I don’t feel like any part of me is attached, my arms aren’t mine, my legs don’t belong to me, my heart beats but I’m not feeling or living it. Who and why am I here

Anger because I’ll never feel guilty for anyone again. I was made to feel guilty for things I wasn’t willing to do, that got ignored. If anyone tries to make me feel guilty for life, remember guilt is abuse. 

Kathleen07Evelyn360hydrangeaPoppyB

Comments

  • SiobhanSiobhan Posts: 14,443 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Sending you lots of hugs ! Im glad you reach out on here. You do well to reach out & express everything. Sounds horrible for you <3
    “ i think that deep down you still think life is worth living. It’s no where near over for you. You’re in pain. The thing you lost, Is the same thing that can stop that pain”
  • PoppyBPoppyB Posts: 228
    Hi @NatalieMT I thought I would check in to see how you are feeling today? As @Shaunie said, you are brave to reach out and speak about how you are feeling <3

    Your post sounds like you are struggling a lot currently, would you be able to tell me a bit more about what has caused you to feel this way? 

    If you feel as though you need any further support, feel free to reach out to The Mix helpline on 
     
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