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exploring sexuality

JaxySeattleJaxySeattle Posts: 3 Newbie
edited July 2019 in Gender & Sexuality
I've known that a I am straight since like kindergarten and had many crushes on girls. The past couple years like when I'm trying to fall asleep I'll get the fantasies in my head of homosexuality. When I get out of this fantasy I feel "normal again" but like I'd still like the idea of trying homosexuality. I don't have a crush on any of my guy friends but I'd still like the idea. Like I think this is weird cause I don't think I'm gay or bisexual I just think I get these weird feelings sometimes
Post edited by Mike on


  • StephanieStephanie Posts: 923 Super Moderator
    edited July 2019
    Hey Jason, 

    Welcome to The Mix 

    We are here for you, we have moved your thread over to our gender and sexuality section of the boards as you may get more support over there. We've also tweaked the title of your post to make it a bit more descriptive than the default intro one.

    Have you spoken to anybody about this? Do you have any support in place?

    Keep posting, we are here for you :heart:
    Post edited by Mike on
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" 

    - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

  • alice123alice123 Posts: 88 The answer to life, the universe, and everything
    Hi @JaxySeattle

    Nice to e-meet you! 

    Thanks for sharing this experience, exploring your sexuality can be a minefield so it's great to be talking about it.

    I was wondering how you feel about these fantasies and about the idea of experimenting with your sexuality? Is there anything stopping you or do you feel quite comfortable with the idea? 

    All the best  :)
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @JaxySeattle

    Welcome to the mix, 

    As a openly gay male (hints in the profile picture 😁) can simpasthse that your confused about theirs fantasies with other men in a sexual way, yes you may not find yourself attractive emotional or sexually to your friends,

    If you have any gay or bi friends, have you considered talking to them about it? 
    As one would hope that people in the lgbtq+ community are supportive of the others questioning 

    Have you considered the possibility pansexual? I will happily explain more about it if you would like. 

    But if you so think your are within the lgbtq+ community, then don't think to hard on labels and think about yourself and explore yourself and try to understand. 

    Best of luck and keep us updated 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • JaxySeattleJaxySeattle Posts: 3 Newbie
    Hey thanks for the replies @davcr0ck @alice123 & @Stephanie ,

    So to answer a few questions:
    1. Have I talked to anyone: no, because I'm super Christian, I mean I lead a Bible study in my youth group. And I don't have any lgbtq+ friends.

    2. Pansexual? Idk really know what that is tbh. I just am trying to find my way in this community and I don't really know much about it. As a Christian you kind of are supposed to be against the LGBT community. And like I've always tried to support them and be nice even though I've never really met any of y'all.

    3. Experimenting with sexuality? I've always thought about it, I just don't really know how to do that, I don't want to reach out to anyone. And also I've never even so much as have kissed someone of the opposite gender, but I think that's just my introverted personality.

    Thank you for responding, I would love to chat with some of y'all if there's a way to do that message me

  • LaineLaine Fruit loop Gone for gooPosts: 2,766 Account Deactivated
    Hey jaxy it's good to see you getting involved/thinking about it.

    I think religion is very different, you say as a Christian you kind of have to be against them but I know many Christian friends who aren't against our community, they believe God loves everyone, everyone can interpret religion how they want so it depends on the individual :)

    Pansexual is a sexuality where someone loves anyone no matter their gender or sex. They love the person for who they arenot whether they're male or female.

    Experimenting with It can be done in many ways.  Playing with different labels, talking to people of the LGBT community, it can include meeting people, kissing etc but doesn't have to go that far :)

    Ultimately it's what and however much you want to do.

    Always here if you have questions :)

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • JaxySeattleJaxySeattle Posts: 3 Newbie
    Thanks for the reply @Laine

    As a Christian you don't really experience the side of this open world and so your kind of trained not to care for the LGBT community, and like I'm definitely not against y'all, I support you guys and pray for y'all. I was just saying as a Christian I don't have the experience of knowing any LGBT people and so I don't know how to reach out to people about these thoughts I'm having. I've kind of kept all this in my head for like a year and not said anything.

    And like I think I should try to experiment with my curious desires, but I'm super scared. In one hand I don't want to tell anyone but on the other hand I want to experience stuff I guess. 

    Funny enough my name isn't Jaxy, it's just my gamer tag so I didn't want to put my real name.
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 487 Moderator
    Hi @JaxySeattle welcome to the boards!

    I think what @Laine is saying is that there are a lot of Christians who are also members of the LGBT community and a lot of allies.

    Depending on where you are, you could look for a community group specifically for Christians who identify as LGBT. You're right that conservative Christians don't have a lot of experiencing of knowing any LGBT people so maybe that would be a good starting point for you? They'd definitely be able to give you unique insight and advice that maybe we couldn't. 

    It's totally fine if you don't want to use your real name here! This is an anonymous and safe space for you to express whatever is on your mind. We're always hear to listen <3
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Posts: 1,383 Wise Owl

    I remember when I had my first lebican fantasy dream. I woke up with this huge grin on my face like "WTF/that was kind of of hot" kind of face. Just the idea of seeing what it was like being with another woman intrigued me and made me some what curious. I rushed to the internet to have a google and I found that it was common to have these. Humans are curious beings and like you, I've never had any experience with somone of the same sex and I'm in a relationship with a male.

    So in short, you're not alone ;)
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 1,187 Wise Owl

    I think it's okay to explore your sexuality, if appropriate in the situation. There are many people around the world that believe in religions that are considered 'against the LGBT community' and are LGBT themselves. While religion is important to many people, personal values and morals are also important to consider. Some consider being LGBT and Christian incompatible, others consider them compatible, as tolerance is another teaching of the Bible. In that way, it's open to your personal interpretation.

    You said that you're not sure if you'd like to try or not, and that's okay. Some people have these thoughts and decide not to act on them, while others do. It's a personal choice, and only one that you can decide to act or not act uponx

    Much love <3
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