Hi, my name is Spook98!
Hi everyone, I'm a 20 year old guy and I recently found this site when it was recommended to me by another service. Any advice on how best to use the site / where to go and talk would be really appreciated.
I've never really opened up on such a public forum before now, but a number of things have been getting to me for a while now, and recently it's been worse than usual. I've had a number of problems with bereavement when I was younger, one of which was losing my dad, which I always did my best not to think about. As such I've still not properly addressed it, and struggle to now because when I think about it, it just causes me pain I don't want. After he died though, I withdrew a lot from other people for a long time, so my self confidence and social skills really suffered. Often I feel extremely lonely and have issues with self loathing, and despite sometimes being in situations where I could meet people, it's been easier and more comfortable not to make the effort.
I'm sick of being depressed, feeling in pain, and all of the thoughts of self harm and suicide that have come with it. I hope my being on the site and trying to talk more openly will go some of the way towards making things better. At the moment I'm just trying to find things to be doing a step at a time. But anyway, thanks for reading.