If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Time & Understanding
Abigail
Posts: 818 Part of The Mix Family
Hey guys,
There is no right place to put this but as it might contain some triggering thing I will put in H&W. Bear with me I might start crying while i type this.
Yesterday afternoon I received a message from family about my 2nd cousin who had gone for her routine MRI but she had taken a tern for the worse.
As most of you know I'm a music student and have been busy with assignment, yesterday was a practical assignment hand in which was important for my grades. Even though it was hard I preformed after I received the news and came home well you guys know the rest I came into chat. My cousin is currently still in the ICU stable and fighting for her life. She has fought for 9 years 8 months longer than we all expected so all family close to her have been expected to prepare for the worse heading into coming days and weeks.
Long story short, I not leaving the mix don't worry someone has to stay around to keep an eye on the carers stuff and let you guys know about awareness weeks. And no I'm not taking a break from chats either. All I am asking for is the chance to be given some time over the next month to deal with it all and prepare for the worse especially with studies coming to a close in a couple of months as i am avoiding redoing this year.
I'm hoping to keep continuing like its any normal month but I know at present its easier said than done.
Speak soon
Abi
P.S - I have been an emotional wreck today by her bed side but holding it together for the sake of caring for others.
There is no right place to put this but as it might contain some triggering thing I will put in H&W. Bear with me I might start crying while i type this.
Yesterday afternoon I received a message from family about my 2nd cousin who had gone for her routine MRI but she had taken a tern for the worse.
My cousin was born with a life limiting condition (can't name it) and a whole in her heart. Each birthday was a miracle for us. My cousin lives inside of a 9 year-old body with the development age of 10 month old. She is like any normal child she loves peppa pig and anything that makes her smile and she loves this moment in tangled when rapunzel hits flynn with frying pan always brings a smile to her face.
As most of you know I'm a music student and have been busy with assignment, yesterday was a practical assignment hand in which was important for my grades. Even though it was hard I preformed after I received the news and came home well you guys know the rest I came into chat. My cousin is currently still in the ICU stable and fighting for her life. She has fought for 9 years 8 months longer than we all expected so all family close to her have been expected to prepare for the worse heading into coming days and weeks.
Long story short, I not leaving the mix don't worry someone has to stay around to keep an eye on the carers stuff and let you guys know about awareness weeks. And no I'm not taking a break from chats either. All I am asking for is the chance to be given some time over the next month to deal with it all and prepare for the worse especially with studies coming to a close in a couple of months as i am avoiding redoing this year.
I'm hoping to keep continuing like its any normal month but I know at present its easier said than done.
Speak soon
Abi
P.S - I have been an emotional wreck today by her bed side but holding it together for the sake of caring for others.
Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
14
Comments
Thank you for the kind words. She is fighting hard with small steps each day. She isn't out of the worse of it all yet but keeping fighting hard for all her family. We want to keep her going as much as we can so I'm putting together her music on her phone and I'm trying not to put 'Crap' on it but as much Disney as I can for all the family to sing along to with her. Its hard trying to think what music listen to and what people might play to her as each person has different taste in music. The internet isn't working with this phone and the hospital internet the joy of old phones and modern internet.
Keep fighting your own battles
Abi x
I'm sat in the hospital, be have been asked to prepare for the next month as she isn't getting any better.
I'm ready for a good cry as I know she isnt getting better. Thank you for all your kind thoughts. Unsure what going to be happening with everything that's going so. I should be in chat tonight but going to be a rough night so if I talk about it dont get angry with me it's a hard time.
Speak soon
Keep fighting
Abi
We'll all be here to support you in chat and also on the boards anytime you want to talk. Knowing we might loose someone we love and care about is one of the hardest things to have to go through. Take as much time as you need and do what you can to look after yourself. Hope you're okay Abi, keep fighting too
From that list of stuff i had to do this week
I'm grateful for all who responded and hugs too, allows me to know I'm not alone going through this. I've set myself the challenge that my summer if all things stay the same. My present for my 18th is I want to learn to sign the song 'Fight song by Rachel Platten - 2014' Learning this will be an achievement for me as a human let alone a human carer.
Keep fighting
Speak soon
Abi
Glad to hear that your cousin is getting better, little by little. Stay strong, you're doing so well!x
Much love
Incredible you've been able to achieve so much with everything that is going on. I think Fight Song is a beautiful song that speaks to so many people in different ways, sounds like a great goal to me. Whenever I see a song signed it especially touches me - I think it becomes even more powerful .
Thinking of you, and we're all here for you for as long as you need us to be.
*virtual hug*
I promise that is not beer in the glass 😂😂. Its 3 months till my 18th and the harsh reality is my cousin could not make it, but that first time I held her in my hands in skibo I will always remember (mostly because I was 8 and shouldnt have been in there but oh well). Life continues so as my life continues I know she is part of my life.
I've decided to make a hard decision and I am looking at leaving the mix by the end of September. I will still be following the Carers project with Italia and keep up with the carers articles and awareness but I wont be as present in chats and on the boards, not that I ever a person that posted on the boards a lot. Its still new to me leaving. When the time comes to leaving I will probably say something more but for now there is no point at the moment, not that anyone will miss me.
Speak soon
Abi
Of course we still care - and really sorry to hear you will be leaving us so soon but totally understandable. You have been a lovely member of our community so yes we will miss you. Keep us updated - sending lots of hugs and best wishes to you and your cousin. Look after yourself
- Lucy
I just wanted to echo what Lucy said and say that we really care about you and I'm really sad to hear that you'll be leaving us soon. You're such a valued member here and I can't imagine The Mix without you. We'll always be here anytime you want to come back but I understand if leaving is best for you at the moment.
Keep us updated with how your cousin is doing. I really hope the physio can help, it sounds really tough what she's going through and also for you and your family too. Thinking of you
It's not exactly leaving more like taking a step back for a while. Some of the mods are already pinned me down and said come back once a term so not fully escaping from me.
I hope she's doing okay. Hopefully being back in the comfort of her own home will be better for her. How are you feeling about everything? This isn't an easy thing to go through at all
Yay I'm glad you're not completely leaving!
If I completely left mods such as Aman, Michelle and Alice would just be baffled by how quiet closing rounds are without me annoying them. Biggest change you guys will see is new mods chats I wont be putting the fear of God into them - which is probably a good thing. Your not losing anyone your gaining someone with more understanding and more refreshed for when I'm here. Anyway someone has to keep poking italia on the carers project 😂😂😂
Hi @Abigail
I've just spotted this thread and I just wanted you to know how incredible I think you are and that I'm thinking of you!
It sounds like you and your family are going through a really tough time but I think the way you keep going, supporting them and also doing your college work too is so inspiring.
I think it's good that you know when you need a little break for yourself and so to reduce your hours here is understandable but I'm glad to hear you won't be gone for good!
I'm so glad that your cousin is back at home, and especially with her dog, pets are amazing aren't they!
Like others have said, you'll definitely be missed when you take a step back, although it's lovely that you'll still be involved with the carers project, I'm sure Italia needs you
Caroline
@CarolineV You've got my sense of humour you really do
@Han93 Thanks i think? We are a family of fighters. We take any situation and work through it. I know I wouldn't be sat typing this now if my cousin wasn't alive I would probably be else where try to make sense of it, situation like the ICU really made us all come close together.
@Lucy307 you wont be losing me, you'll be gaining better articles 3 times a year is how i'm thinking about it. Like I said to Aife, I have already been pinned down and told to come back once a term for chat with the mods.
Its going to be nice to take a seat back for a while as I work through things, Like what does almond milk taste like? is my new adventure for this week and milk free curry sauce from asda. I'm just ready for a change - but with change comes the scary side of what is and buts its why its a long process and I'm not leaving tomorrow as this process will take a long time for me.
I've just come across your post and I just wanted to say how amazingly you are doing opening up about this. It is so difficult going through family illness but you are not alone - we will always be here for you whenever you do want to come back. You are so strong, you should be so proud of yourself.
Sending lots of hugs your way
My cousin will no doubt be in hospital for my 18th. Even though most know I'm not planning on celebrating it (my plans is to just annoy Aman and has been since January) there might be a chance I'll be doing a split day half in hospital half at home. Not going to be easy overthinking everything that could happen I just hope I can keep it together till the end of college.
Ive got 2 sections left on an essay but the thoughts are to much to do it. I want to cry but the tear wont come. I want to get out of bed and take the pain away but my leg feel like jelly. I hide the pain but where does that leave me wanting to pick up the packet.
I hope things have improved for you since making this post, there’s no rush to support others just try and focus on yourself and take some time to heal 💗
Sending so much love your way x
I know I've been fairly quiet recently and been either zoned out or there and present with nothing to stop me from supporting others - sadly that is me and I don't really have an in the middle button. I've been having medical issues myself with my knees playing up and ever bone in my body clicks on a daily bases all while preparing myself for my cousin operation as well. From Tuesday 2nd to Thursday 10th July (might be longer) I won't be support anyone with anything ... in fact I might be the on looking for a shoulder to cry. I don't know the state I will be in over the next few weeks but all i know is its going to be a hell of a month.
Like I said to someone said to me the other night, stay strong for her, my response continue being me then.
I'm hoping to pop on and off over the next few weeks (chats and the boards) but if not, stay strong and sorry if your upset that I wont be around for you to lean on .
Speak soon
Abi
Just wanted to send you a hug and say that we'll be here anytime you want to talk about anything. It sounds like the next few weeks are going to be really tough for you. Just echoing what @Butterfly23 said a few weeks ago, take some time to focus on yourself and remember that we're here for you too.
I really hope your cousin's operation goes okay in a few weeks. Keep us updated with how everything goes. I also hope things get better for you too, it sounds like you're in a lot of pain with your knees and your body. Make sure to look after yourself Abi
Her operation has been cancelled for tomorrow but this doesn't mean I'm not taking time off supporting others (Unless I've messaged saying otherwise) I need some me time as an early birthday present to myself. Going to be a fair old month with a lot of different emotions going on, just got to keep my head up around family. I know some people relay a lot on me for support but i need a break so from tomorrow till I say other I will only be on every know and then (unless its to annoy mike
Look after yourselfs,
Abi
its okay. Everyone has people that rely on them for support - just like everyone has people they find support in too, in many ways. And people are very understanding when someone needs more time for themselves, esp when been giving lots of support. All deserve to give lots of support to ourselves too
take care