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How do I overcome my drinking problem? *possible trigger*

chrissy20chrissy20 Posts: 2 Literally just got here
Hi Everyone,

I'm looking for a bit of advice, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to voice this. I'm 20 years old and currently at uni. Just a bit of background, I've had depression and anxiety since I was about 12, PTSD since 2016 and last year I spent time with my local mental health team after a suicide attempt and was diagnosed with EUPD (emotionally unstable personality disorder), although I don't fully understand what that means.

I would say my drinking problem started when I met my boyfriend. I remember one night we went to Tesco and got food for an evening in together and he suggested I get myself a bottle of wine as I liked the odd glass here and there. I ended up drinking the whole bottle and we had a fantastic evening together. I had never felt such happiness before and I felt like I was able to be myself and so much more relaxed than I'd felt in years. Following that I found myself buying wine more often and after my boyfriend mentioned I was having it quite often I started hiding it in water bottles. This is now a regular thing for me, one bottle became 2 in an evening and I found myself onto vodka for something stronger. I don't drink every night but I do many times during the week.

It's draining my bank account but I don't feel I can live with out it. I know it's ruining my body and I can't imagine what state my liver is in. I'm so embarrassed by it and that its come to this but I don't know what else to do. I've had 3 counselors and tried lots of different medications and haven't had anything that works. I haven't told anyone as I feel so ashamed and especially like I've let my boyfriend down. I have nothing to complain about in life, I have a flat, car, VERY supportive boyfriend, but I know something is wrong. My mum is a heavy drinker and I always said I would never turn out like her. Shes aggressive when shes drunk where as I just get happy and feel the need to tell everyone I love them, so I know my behavior isn't bad when I'm drunk and I'm not hurting anyone as I'm very good at acting sober. I've tried going cold turkey but I hate it so much, I think as I'm not able to drown my sorrows and have to face my feelings.

I'm looking for a bit of advice really as I know its damaging and definitely making my depression worse. Sorry if this is inappropriate at all and thank you in advance. :) 

Chrissy 

Comments

  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,935 Extreme Poster
    Hey Chrissy, and a warm welcome to you buddy :)

    I'm so sorry to hear all this *hug*. It def sounds like you're struggling with the drinking problem. But you're strong and can overcome this, no matter how hard it is. Just want you to know that I believe in you. <3

    Also there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of, and you haven't let your boyfriend down (you chose none of this).

    There's a couple things I might suggest. First, do you think it would be easier to slowly decrease your intake, or is it better to just stop suddenly? Second, is there any way you can distract yourself, anything that helps with the craving? Third, have you tried rehab? I doubt you'd want to go, but perhaps it would be necessary for you to recover from this.

    I've never had a problem with drink/drugs, so I probably can't offer the smartest advice (but hope someone else will come along who has some!). But I know addictions and stuff are horrid things and really hard to break. :(

    We're here for ya x 
    Past User
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,165 Skive's The Limit
    First things first, see a doctor and explain your concerns over your drinking. They may be able to advice you not only on how to stop drinking, but also help you with fixing your underlying anxiety issues. It sounds as if you have already done this, but it's important not to give up.

    DO NOT just stop drinking suddenly. If you drink significant amounts then alcohol withdrawal symptoms can be really unpleasant and quite dangerous.

    My advice would be focus you energy into something else. Get confident at something that takes up a lot of time - a hobby, sport or activity. My sister had anxiety issues and would often use drink in social situations to cope. Eventually she decided to do some lap dancing in the evenings (not advising that this is what you do) and it helped her massively.


    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
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