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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)
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Eaten literally nothing today because i cant afford to eat anything and no food in house and no one cares or has noticed.. ......Not like i have anorexia and it is triggering me😒 & this is contradictive to when i say how annoying it is for my family to force me.
i have no energy and i feel like crying or passing out
basically now i think it must have to do with my image as well as how it makes me feel - if these are my thoughts
Like we have gone school together and then same college and even ended up with the same class in college and then work at the same place and at work we work near same sections so always speak to her. ( we are twins but really wish was seperated more so i could be more independat now) and this is like the first thing have done independetly and by myself so thought id feel great as wanted that. But i was just so anxious and scared and i spent most of my time in the toilets because i think had panic attack and i don’t know it just all felt so intense. Which is weird because i have gone to work when my sister called in sick. But i guess i was stressed thinking now i will be by myself forever in here and will have to ask my stupid questions to other people and speak to people more.
But I could call in sick and none of my family would ever know which is so tempting
my dad and my sister are both working 12 hours today so i have a free house from 8til 8pm and i don’t know why i say this but i invited a guy round. First without wanting sex from him lol. But i don’t know i said it yesterday too but canceled on him. And i feel like cant cancel again today so dk what to do. Pretend ive died lol. I really wish i could be more sociable but something stops me and think just dont want to get to know people that well or trust them cause ive donethat before and ended up badly
She was asking what changed and how did they help because at one point i was really ill -- tbh i feel like not much has changed. Just because im not threatening to hurt myself in the middle of the woods while beig arrested doesnt mean i am not ill anymore.
But guess got better at coping still feeling shit. So i just said they helped me me with coping skills and goal setting so i have some meaning in my life and cause id really like to be a peer support worker.
Then it was weird -- she was asking me to hug her lol. We dont do that tho we are close but i gues in different terms. She has a new job as a care assistant so im thinking that maybe the old people have been telling her about how short life is looolll and to take interest in peoples lives. That is only reason i can think she was acting different lol