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Unsure of sexuality

Hi All,
I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance on what I should do.

I basically have gay thoughts and also straight thoughts when I'm masterbating. I also watch gay and straight porn. I guess this makes me bisexual, which I can come to terms with.

However this girl I have been talking to, I think really likes me and I like her and I would like to have a relationship with her. However from the gay thoughts I have, I want to have some fun with another man too.

What should I do, should I tell her that I'm Bi and then trying and have a relationship with her and try to block out the gay thoughts, or should I experiment with another man first and see how I feel and take it from their.

Any guidance word be much appreciated.




  • SiobhanSiobhan Posts: 14,442 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I think you should do what you feel comfortable with and be with who ever you like atm - female or male -  without wanting to 'see' if you're gay or not and just like who you like and don't need to put a label on it but you don't need to completly block it out either. 

    But you you can watch gay porn without being gay. Though I am female. But have watched lesbain stuff in past and prefer it. Sometimes you don't want your sexual fantasies to happen in real life - i don’t know if Im sure I completly do atm anyways. 

    Why would need to put label atm? - can help you identify yourself but sounds like could put barriers up. 

    But that is just my opinion. I'm sure you will make your decision that feels right for you

    “ i think that deep down you still think life is worth living. It’s no where near over for you. You’re in pain. The thing you lost, Is the same thing that can stop that pain”
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 487
    It's great that you're beginning to explore your sexuality @George ! Well done for talking so openly. 

    First, I would say that however you identify is absolutely valid. You don't even have to put a label on it if you don't want to. Personally, I identify as biromantic/bisexual. I came out at 14 but I didn't have my first same sex experience until I was 19. Up until then, I had been in several relationships with men. 

    It's important to note that you can be bisexual and maintain a loving, healthy relationship without acting on your desire to be intimate with another man. Just as you can be in a relationship with a woman, and not act on your desire to be with another woman. Being bisexual in a "straight passing" relationship is totally valid, and doesn't make you less bisexual. 

    My advice is to be upfront with any potential partner about your bisexuality/curiousity. Establish whether or not exploring your sexuality outside of the relationship is okay (i.e. an open relationship) or if your intentions are to be exclusive. In which case, you would have to evaluate your feelings and decide if you want to commit to being with one gender for the time being. 

    Good luck!
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Community Champion Posts: 1,264 Wise Owl
    Hey George,

    If you took everything else away from you and left the label of 'bisexual', would that still define you? No! If you like guys, great! If you like girls, awesome! Don't confine yourself to a label for no reason - love who you love!x

    Much love <3
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