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Rubbish college course or no education forever?

LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
I hope you guys accept pointless rants on the boards because this is about to be one them haha you don't have to read ❤

So some may know I left college last year,  I was not getting on with level 1 health and social care and I found it hard to keep doing something I really did not want to do. 

I had high hopes in maybe trying a different level 1 this year but it seems that life had other plans and now every course is taken up but health and social care *shudders* I can't help but feel angry at myself that I'm stuck with sucky level 1s and that now I will never have a proper education or go to uni. 
But then I feel angry at my parents for never letting me go to school because if I did then no matter how rubbish my GCSES turned out I could of got a level 2.

It's pointless mourning over the past because nothing can be changed now but I'm just in such turmoil and sorrow now that I will never have an education and I'll struggle getting a dead end job and when I do I'll be stuck in it.

It's not far that my family had to bring me down with them and ruin my life just because theirs is,  I just I don't know I feel doomed and I don't want to be here :/

🌈Positive thoughts🌈

"This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

"Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

"I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
Post edited by JustV on
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  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    edited August 2018
    Sending hugs! Have you looked into online course you could do? 

    Also I have a 'dead end job' and I love it lol, I find its not about the job you do but the people you work with, they're the ones that determine whether it's good or not :) 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Not ones that I don't have to pay for sadly,  I might invest in doing one if I ever get enough money and my GCSES.

    I know "dead end" jobs could get me a decent wage to live on but I think the hardest part is I did really want to go to uni one day and now I'll have to say good bye to that

    Also i'm not sure I'll ever get one without qualifications :/ 

    Thanks for replying it means a lot ❤

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • SevenSeven Posts: 58 Boards Initiate
    Hi Laine, 

    This frustration is really understandable. In terms of your family, it might be worth talking to them about this? Usually parents do things like that because they think they're doing something good, so it might make everyone feel better if you got your feelings clear?

    In terms of jobs, there might be a skill you want to practice that a short-term job could help you get experience in, and eventually you might find somewhere right for you. You never know what might happen. Either way, it's never really healthy to keep doing something you didn't want to do. 

    I hope this is a little helpful or encouraging, please don't give up hope! Keep us updated so we know how you're feeling. :)

    -Seven
  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Seven said:
    Hi Laine, 

    This frustration is really understandable. In terms of your family, it might be worth talking to them about this? Usually parents do things like that because they think they're doing something good, so it might make everyone feel better if you got your feelings clear?

    In terms of jobs, there might be a skill you want to practice that a short-term job could help you get experience in, and eventually you might find somewhere right for you. You never know what might happen. Either way, it's never really healthy to keep doing something you didn't want to do. 

    I hope this is a little helpful or encouraging, please don't give up hope! Keep us updated so we know how you're feeling. :)

    -Seven
    Hey Seven!  Thanks for the reply :)

    I do feel bad being angry because I know my mum never had money to send us to school but two of my brothers have done really well at college and uni and I can't have that myself now,  

    I do agree with your end part and I know doing something I don't want to isn't the best idea but I find myself terrified with my anxiety and just want to cling to the sure thing? X

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Just got here
    Hi @Laine :)

    Do you have an aunt, an uncle or a grandparent who you get on well with that you can visit? Because they could talk things over with you, possibly giving you a direction to follow. And become an anchor for you during times of great self-doubt.

    I ask because the main members of my family were so appallingly dysfunctional that my two aunts made me their own, and pointed me in a direction both believed in. And it's working.

    Can you drive? If not, then learning to drive would become so useful! It will take time to learn of course - no bad thing - but the moment you achieve your driver's licence will be the day you get your freedom! My freedom is a vintage Citroen 2CV with a sardine can-type rollback roof and an accelaration of 0-60 in 93 seconds! :joy: But I have wheels, and the feeling of independence is marvellous. =)

    I'm not good to advise about college for being home schooled, and getting abysmally low marks last year. But my aunts revealed what I was actually very good at, and once a week put me on an upholstery evening course. It's very interesting and is going to be most useful in the future.

    I have no clue as to what your college can offer regarding courses/subjects. Could you take a gap year to decide what you'd really like to do? During that time you would begin to shape ideas and make them grow. And they will.

  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hey Floxy thanks!

    I can't take a gap year unfortunately  this is my last chance at a course as its my second and final year for college.

    Very interestingly I do not have anyone in regards to the aunt and uncle route. 

    I do have one cousin and one aunt but they're up where my partner lives. 

    I do have grandparents and my grandad great but he's not very educated on these matters just good for a cup of tea and a distraction :)

    Travelling has always made me feel more free and so does being with my partner but I don't think driving is anywhere in the distant future sadly as its just soo expensive for lessons and if I ever funded them I wouldn't afford a car,  plus my anxiety really isn't great i'm not sure I'd be ready to get behind the wheel x

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Just got here
    Laine said:
    Hey Floxy thanks!

    I can't take a gap year unfortunately  this is my last chance at a course as its my second and final year for college.

    Very interestingly I do not have anyone in regards to the aunt and uncle route. 

    I do have one cousin and one aunt but they're up where my partner lives. 

    I do have grandparents and my grandad great but he's not very educated on these matters just good for a cup of tea and a distraction :)

    Travelling has always made me feel more free and so does being with my partner but I don't think driving is anywhere in the distant future sadly as its just soo expensive for lessons and if I ever funded them I wouldn't afford a car,  plus my anxiety really isn't great i'm not sure I'd be ready to get behind the wheel x
    Tell you what, then. Compile a shortlist of jobs that seem attractive to you and check out at college what available courses there are from which you could apply. Then list them here including a list of your hobbies.

    These two lists may spark suggestions friom your friends who have posted.

    I still get troubled by anxiety. This happens mostly at night when I tend to over-think. And kick myself for getting into an anxious paddy after posting a self-help I should take my own advice from! :3


    The loveliest aspect in being a partner to your loved one is growing together. As you progress in your loving relationship, so you will gain self-confidence and I know this to be true for loving my Ines.

    Best wishes to you Lain and have a super weekend! =)

    Mandyx

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2018
    Hey laine!
    hope youre okay today?

    i really recommend you watch this youtube video, its caled “why i hate school but love education”. https://youtu.be/y_ZmM7zPLyI

     obviously you dont have to watch it, but defo recommend if havent seen before, is interesting,& deep & only 6 mins.(it doesnt say school is nothing as can help to get somewhere)
    - Its basically saying you can do great things & be successful even if didnt go to school. Like many people have. Because were all indivudals with different qualities & all great at different things. You put your mind to it & can do it.  So please dont lose hope! <3 You seem really focused on getting qualifications but not mentioned what you want? What will make you happy, job wise ect? Not what qualifications. Like Seven said even voulterring - it can get you far and loads of places like experience. & ive seen apperterships that need no experience plus could make you happy. People can be just as happy in something that didnt need much education than someone whos got a degree. 

     Also can be hard to see others doing well, esp your brothers but whos says you aint gunna do as great things? I think youre capable off it

    So to answer your title - its completly lies within what you wanna do - and what you want out of life. If you wanna carry on with level 1 then move up to level 2 then yeah defo do it.  But what im trying to say is to think more than the qualifications 

    ( really sorry if ive not properly understood or this is not helpful )

    but wish you all the best @Laine  😊

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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