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(Possible TW) Urges to have sex

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  • AngelIsMe21AngelIsMe21 The Mix convert Posts: 132 Settling in
    peachysoo wrote: »
    Hi AngelIsMe21,

    I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling and the fact you're (still) in physical pain too, just to add to it all, must really be the worst right now :(

    If it might help, would you like to discuss what's making you feel confused and conflicted in a bit more detail? Or just talk about how you are feeling in general - your thoughts and such. Sometimes, it can help to write down anything that comes to mind, and I personally find that, when I'm a bit overwhelmed and confused, just getting out all my thoughts in a space where I can see and almost control them in a more manageable way can help ease my confusion a bit! Of course, if you would prefer not to divulge into any detail (as this is completely personal and I would understand if you'd rather keep some details not known), doing this in a little private notebook or something can still help!

    I don't personally know how you have been dealing/coping with your conflicting thoughts regarding your values and your sex drive (that are making you feel shameful), however I would suggest maybe taking some alone time to be with your thoughts and realigning yourself? This is similar to my prior point with just writing out everything that you're feeling and thinking: what about your values is making you feel shameful? I don't want to say you should definitely change your values, because they are important to you so of course this would be really insensitive to say, but maybe you could try being a little flexible with yourself (be kinder to yourself!) here in this one instance, to alleviate the feelings of shame. There's always time to grow and change, and as we grow - physically, emotionally, spiritually etc. - our values may also change without us knowing. I feel like getting to the root of your distress and facing it head on could be really helpful, if you haven't already, though it must be really daunting! That said, I don't wanna be pushing my thoughts onto you and pressuring you into anything you don't feel would help or could cuse you further distress, so please take my words with a grain of salt >_<

    Regarding the sore spots, I might be interpreting this in the wrong way, but it would be wise to consult a doctor or a sexual health clinic about these spots in case they may be an STI or such. There will be many places you could go to to get checked in your local area, and everything will be confidential, as your privacy and security is as of top concern to these professionals as it is to you!

    Please take care, and I hope you start feeling a bit better soon :blush:
    -peachysoo

    Hey,
    Thank you for wanting to help me hun, that really does mean a lot to me.

    I have just been through another confusing yet happy and exciting experience but it has brought up negative emotion and thoughts inside.

    Last week (as you know) i had sex with a 21 year old friend of mine (same age as me) and have been experiencing physical pains a lot since then too. Today, I've just spent a few hours on a date kind of thing with another friend of mine, who is 46 years old. We went for a coffee and chat together, strolled through the shops and done a bit of shopping then ended up in a not so often used lift, kissing passionately. It felt really special and exciting as a whole but of course has made me feel shame, guilt and self anger despite the feelings of happiness and excitement that came up in it too. So confusing ;s (Please don't judge me for this though I know I'm a bad person)

    Right now, my mind is racing about all of this and I don't know what to do to resolve all of this and make me see the situation(s) clearer. I don't know but I think it's mental health related as well as natural. I don't know.
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 The Mix Regular
    This discomfort might be thrush, a common yeast infection, but getting checked up at your doctor's surgery would put your mind at rest.
  • peachysoopeachysoo Posts: 151 Boards Initiate

    Hey,
    Thank you for wanting to help me hun, that really does mean a lot to me.

    I have just been through another confusing yet happy and exciting experience but it has brought up negative emotion and thoughts inside.

    Last week (as you know) i had sex with a 21 year old friend of mine (same age as me) and have been experiencing physical pains a lot since then too. Today, I've just spent a few hours on a date kind of thing with another friend of mine, who is 46 years old. We went for a coffee and chat together, strolled through the shops and done a bit of shopping then ended up in a not so often used lift, kissing passionately. It felt really special and exciting as a whole but of course has made me feel shame, guilt and self anger despite the feelings of happiness and excitement that came up in it too. So confusing ;s (Please don't judge me for this though I know I'm a bad person)

    Right now, my mind is racing about all of this and I don't know what to do to resolve all of this and make me see the situation(s) clearer. I don't know but I think it's mental health related as well as natural. I don't know.


    Not at all! I wish I could do more to help you resolve your conflict, though I still stand by writing out all your feelings (maybe as a mind map or something to see how everything is connected) to perhaps mke the situation a little clearer. If you feel it is mental health related, and if you feel a bit low in general, this could also be something very much worth mentioning to a doctor. Also, there is no reason for me to judge you! There is nothing you have said or done that I know of that paints you as a bad person in any way shape of form, please be kinder to yourself :heart:
  • AngelIsMe21AngelIsMe21 The Mix convert Posts: 132 Settling in
    Mirabelle wrote: »
    This discomfort might be thrush, a common yeast infection, but getting checked up at your doctor's surgery would put your mind at rest.

    Thank you Belle😘
  • AngelIsMe21AngelIsMe21 The Mix convert Posts: 132 Settling in
    peachysoo wrote: »


    Not at all! I wish I could do more to help you resolve your conflict, though I still stand by writing out all your feelings (maybe as a mind map or something to see how everything is connected) to perhaps mke the situation a little clearer. If you feel it is mental health related, and if you feel a bit low in general, this could also be something very much worth mentioning to a doctor. Also, there is no reason for me to judge you! There is nothing you have said or done that I know of that paints you as a bad person in any way shape of form, please be kinder to yourself :heart:

    I have briefly mentioned and brought it up with my psychologist but I'm finding it difficult to do :s I feel like a bad person for doing these 2 different things with 2 different people, of 2 very different ages as well. And the age etc too? :s x
  • AngelIsMe21AngelIsMe21 The Mix convert Posts: 132 Settling in
    2 very different experiences, 2 different people etc. I'm not sure what I should be thinking or feeling in a situation like this.
  • AngelIsMe21AngelIsMe21 The Mix convert Posts: 132 Settling in
    😢
  • FranFran Posts: 118 Boards Initiate
    Hey @AngelIsMe21,

    I know it can sound a bit mainstream, but I don't believe there are any right or wrong thoughts or feelings that you may be experiencing right now. You have every right to feel as you do.
    You have been brave opening up about that with your psychologist, too, and it is absolutely understandable that you are finding it hard to talk freely about everything. Always remember that it takes time to deal with our inner thoughts and that it might take more than one meeting with your psychologist to start feeling better or even having clearer thoughts. So, take your time and step by step you can manage to deal with it. You are doing the right thing taking with your psychologist, so be positive :rainbow:

    Take care,

    Fran
  • AngelIsMe21AngelIsMe21 The Mix convert Posts: 132 Settling in
    Fran wrote: »
    Hey [USER="103008"]AngelIsMe21[/USER],

    I know it can sound a bit mainstream, but I don't believe there are any right or wrong thoughts or feelings that you may be experiencing right now. You have every right to feel as you do.
    You have been brave opening up about that with your psychologist, too, and it is absolutely understandable that you are finding it hard to talk freely about everything. Always remember that it takes time to deal with our inner thoughts and that it might take more than one meeting with your psychologist to start feeling better or even having clearer thoughts. So, take your time and step by step you can manage to deal with it. You are doing the right thing taking with your psychologist, so be positive :rainbow:

    Take care,

    Fran

    Hi Fran,

    Thanks so much for responding, it's nice to know that few care and are non-judgemental towards me.

    I felt it was needed for me to bravely hint at it with the psychologists as I do feel that it is mental health related as in a form of harm, if this makes sense? :s
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