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Unusual one

SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
I self harm by overdosing - countless of times. And half the time this happens I get really sick. But when i dont want to harm myself even looking at pills makes me feel really sick. And now just drinking water makes me think a pill is going down me and start to feel physically sick. So i only drink when I feel really dehydrated and barely drink.
I get headaches and feel drained.
And I can't stay on medication to get better for this reason.
It's like when you first get drunk and can never drink that drink again because it's remind you of when you was ill.
I dont know how to change the way I think. Or to distract myself from it.
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hay Shaunie,

    I can relate to some of the things you mentioned and I guess it's you subconscious trying to protect you from doing it again. Overdosing isn't very nice and I know this from past experiences.

    I have two suggestions for this:

    1) Try flavoured water or other drinks that doesn't taste like water to help distract you.

    2) Try repeating phrases before after and during. phrases like , "this will not hurt me", "this is just water" and " I'm going to be okay".

    You could even try saying your own phrases, it's all about trying to rationalise, it's something that I do when anxiety builds up.



    V
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you for this. I will definitely try more different drinks. But a lot of drink iv used when overdosing and still reminds me. Been eating a lot of ice cream cause it's not just liquid and should be hydrating. But not very healthy.
    I will try telling myself it's safe to drink. And hopefully I'll get used to it.
    Thank you
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    And i think not drinking enough is physically affecting me and have symptoms of uti and don't know if just that is something worth going doctors for
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I had a UTI and was put on antibiotics
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    It's actually funny because I was in A&E after my biggest overdose and they had to take my pee to put in an overnight ward so that's how they found out I had a UTI and then I was sectioned not because of my UTI 😂 btw! Lol but because of how many tablets I took and it was because I wanted it to kill me and I was on a drip and all sorts too and because I was hearing things too so I was sectioned
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