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Lostsense
Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
I feel so sick trying to force myself to be sick feels like I've got a stone in my throat. I've just found out that a guy has died by suicide (well rushed to hospital in a critical way) why is it not me? Is it my fault for every person who dies by suicide? I'm in bits😢
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It's not your fault he has harmed himself at all in anyway. I'm sorry for how it has affected you. Would you like to talk about how it has left you feeling ?
Hello Steph,
How are you doing today? Sorry to hear how overwhelming things have been for you recently. It's difficult hearing things about people being rushed to hospital, because they've tried to take their life and I understand the impact it can have on an individual with similar thoughts. But comparing yourself to someone else's situation, or wishing you were in their shoes instead of your own, won't change the situation. Did you know this guy personally, or was it ia the news? As easy as it is, and I know how many people will say the same, but no, it's not your fault, suicide is preventable with the right support, but sometimes, people feel so trapped and without support, they see no other way out.
I recently read in the news about an elederly man, who took his life despite asking endlessly to be sectioned, going private is a bit on the pricey side, but the endless waiting list for NHS patients, who seem 'stable' enough to be at home is insane, but then the NHS is doing all it can really, with limited beds, etc. Patients are moving futher away from families, etc. It's sad, I know, and it's awful to hear in the news, or via Facebook, or even knowing the person, but in the end, when someone really wants to go, it can't be prevantable.
Why do you feel as though it's your fault?
Keep us updated on how you're feeling, and remember to look after yourself too! - Self care is really important when were feeling so vulnerable. - You also mentioned you were forcing yourself to be sick? Would you like to talk a bit more about that?
Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart
Hi steph,
Sounds tough news to hear, especially when it is close in a number of ways to your own experiences. Hope you are okay...
As Turtle09 said, it isn't your fault that this happened. I can appreciate this may not stop you feeling guilty, however perhaps we can flip these feelings around. Try not to see compassion and caring as a weakness, but as a strength. As you say though, it's important to look after ourselves as a priority, and ultimately, we can only be responsible for our own actions.
How are you feeling today? Do you have any strategies that help take your mind off these feelings that you find useful? A while back there was a campaign on the Your Voices section of The Mix to make Happy Boxes, things that make us smile/take our minds off things, to be used at times when things are tough, it seems like a good creative way of having some things lined up ready and waiting...Perhaps take a look at other people's ideas if you are interested.
If you feel your meds are making you feel sick, it'd be worth speaking to a doctor to get a review as it may be they can change the dosage or the drug to try and stop the side effects.
Remember that there is support and general chat on tonight, whilst there is also Samaritans (116123) open 24/7 if you need a space to talk.
We're here if it helps to chat on here too
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How are you feeling today following this ? i hope that you can keep in your mind all the people who are there for you and care about you.