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I feel so sick trying to force myself to be sick feels like I've got a stone in my throat. I've just found out that a guy has died by suicide (well rushed to hospital in a critical way) why is it not me? Is it my fault for every person who dies by suicide? I'm in bits😢

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi steph I'm a little confused by your post. Who is the man ?
    It's not your fault he has harmed himself at all in anyway. I'm sorry for how it has affected you. Would you like to talk about how it has left you feeling ?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Part of the furniture Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    Steph95 wrote: »
    I feel so sick trying to force myself to be sick feels like I've got a stone in my throat. I've just found out that a guy has died by suicide (well rushed to hospital in a critical way) why is it not me? Is it my fault for every person who dies by suicide? I'm in bits😢


    Hello Steph,

    How are you doing today? Sorry to hear how overwhelming things have been for you recently. It's difficult hearing things about people being rushed to hospital, because they've tried to take their life and I understand the impact it can have on an individual with similar thoughts. But comparing yourself to someone else's situation, or wishing you were in their shoes instead of your own, won't change the situation. Did you know this guy personally, or was it ia the news? As easy as it is, and I know how many people will say the same, but no, it's not your fault, suicide is preventable with the right support, but sometimes, people feel so trapped and without support, they see no other way out.

    I recently read in the news about an elederly man, who took his life despite asking endlessly to be sectioned, going private is a bit on the pricey side, but the endless waiting list for NHS patients, who seem 'stable' enough to be at home is insane, but then the NHS is doing all it can really, with limited beds, etc. Patients are moving futher away from families, etc. It's sad, I know, and it's awful to hear in the news, or via Facebook, or even knowing the person, but in the end, when someone really wants to go, it can't be prevantable.

    Why do you feel as though it's your fault?

    Keep us updated on how you're feeling, and remember to look after yourself too! - Self care is really important when were feeling so vulnerable. - You also mentioned you were forcing yourself to be sick? Would you like to talk a bit more about that?

    Best wishes,
    WhispersOfTheHeart
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Sorry for late reply. It was via the news but close and where I think about going to die by suicie. it always hits a spot with me to deep for words. I have to help peple because I know what it is like but sometimes that is too much for me aswell and I need to look after myself but then I want to die evan more because of the guilt and emotions so I feel like its my fault. I think its the meds that make me feel sick
  • Ed_Ed_ Moderator Posts: 1,551 Extreme Poster
    Steph95 wrote: »
    Sorry for late reply. It was via the news but close and where I think about going to die by suicie. it always hits a spot with me to deep for words. I have to help peple because I know what it is like but sometimes that is too much for me aswell and I need to look after myself but then I want to die evan more because of the guilt and emotions so I feel like its my fault. I think its the meds that make me feel sick

    Hi steph,

    Sounds tough news to hear, especially when it is close in a number of ways to your own experiences. Hope you are okay...

    As Turtle09 said, it isn't your fault that this happened. I can appreciate this may not stop you feeling guilty, however perhaps we can flip these feelings around. Try not to see compassion and caring as a weakness, but as a strength. As you say though, it's important to look after ourselves as a priority, and ultimately, we can only be responsible for our own actions.

    How are you feeling today? Do you have any strategies that help take your mind off these feelings that you find useful? A while back there was a campaign on the Your Voices section of The Mix to make Happy Boxes, things that make us smile/take our minds off things, to be used at times when things are tough, it seems like a good creative way of having some things lined up ready and waiting...Perhaps take a look at other people's ideas if you are interested.

    If you feel your meds are making you feel sick, it'd be worth speaking to a doctor to get a review as it may be they can change the dosage or the drug to try and stop the side effects.

    Remember that there is support and general chat on tonight, whilst there is also Samaritans (116123) open 24/7 if you need a space to talk.

    We're here if it helps to chat on here too :)
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Thanks Edward, I'm feeling crap tonight, I've got an ear infection, tonsilitus and toothache. Mentally unwell too. I dont feel like talking atm, my words are not making sense and I feel very weak and tierd
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Another one died by suicide, seriously makes me so sad😭
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi steph im sorry to hear it is especially hard when someone dies particularly by suicide as it leaves a lot of unanswered questions and an awful lot of people that miss that person.
    How are you feeling today following this ? i hope that you can keep in your mind all the people who are there for you and care about you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    No-one is there for me or cares about me. Just in my own little world. I don't really know, I've lost sense of wording atm💙💚
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi we care on here and I'm sure other people do. I hope that you have a lovely week
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    Hey Steph it sounds like you are going through a really difficult time at the moment. We are all here for you on the boards when you need to talk :)
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Thanks
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