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Woke up to a guy having with me
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi so I went home after a night out with a guy who i had explained i dont wat to have sex. but because i was drunk he followed me to my room and we cuddled then kissed and ended up having sex. But, he was going so rough with me and hurting me I actually screamed in agony. And I was just not enjoying it so I stopped and put on a dressing gown and he cuddled me again. then after falling asleep I woke up to me on my front my dressing gown lifted up and legs spread out and he was inside me thrusting so I got him off me. I felt so disgusted. He layed down as I layed there real still in shock and did not move or sleep after it. I pretended to be asleep and he was stroking my hair but it was more like he was pulling it out and he was nudging me. The next day he just went without saying anything and I got a bath crying because of what he did and I could hardly sit down :,-( is it rape??
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My condolences.
Really sorry to hear what happened - it sounds really distressing.
These things can often be hard to talk about, so well done on posting here.
TheSite has got an article about rape, which you might like to read. It also has a couple of videos to talk you through your options now.
One thing it says is this:
How are you feeling now? Have you talked to anyone else about it?
Hope you're okay
Exactly this.
Now I just want it to be forgotten but hope the police do what they need to do
He needs arresting and getting sent down and be put on his records :mad:
I can imagine this is quite a blow and frustrating, especially as you've been so brave and brilliant for reporting it.
How are you feeling? Did the police explain if there's any more options you can take?
Remember, whatever happens legally, this wasn't your fault. You're not to blame in any way and there are people here who believe you and want to support you through this. Keep posting as much as you need to - they'll always be someone here who's listening and who cares about what happened to you.
I don't know if you saw in the article, but have you thought of calling Rape Crisis? I'll post a link below in case you want to chat to them. They deal with people in your position a lot so are likely to have a lot of extra guidance and support for you.
http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/gettinghelp2.php
Do let us know how you're getting on.
Massive hugs *hug*
Holly
Did the police explain what was happening? The decision to charge is not usually the police's to make, and that seems a surprisingly quick decision to take no further action from the CPS. That said I'm not surprised at the decision; if you say you were asleep and he says you weren't, then a successful prosecution would have been unlikely.
I can only hope that the police investigation reminded this creature that it is not acceptable.
You have absolutely every reason to be angry. Remember you have done nothing wrong - it's this guy and the police who are to blame. It must be so frustrating, and it may be worth asking if there's any appeal process, or if you can make a complaint about the police...
However, more than anything, try and ensure you're looking after you. What do you need right now? What would help right now? Did you manage to call Rape Crisis? Were they helpful? In our rape article, we mention some counselling may be helpful. It may seem like a lot to take on right now, but you could consider it in the future.
You say you wanted to hurt yourself and it sounds like you coped with that really well, by taking yourself out. If that's working, maybe you should keep on doing that when you get those urges? Or you can always vent here - write it all out as much as you like. Or talk to someone you can trust.
Do let us know how you're doing. And remember there's no right or wrong way of dealing with what you've gone through, and help is always here
Holly
Something happened to me a while ago and my counsellor then suggested that I write down everything I wanted to happen to him so I got it all out and then burn it. That helped me, maybe you could try it?
She also said that yes, he may think he has won now and he has hurt you but the best revenge would be for you to get stronger and start enjoying life. Show this horrible man you're not scared, and he hasn't won. He'll live with fear for the rest of his life, knowing what he has done to you and he may do this or have already done this to someone else too so he will be in fear that he could get done at any time for this.
I hope you are okay. You're not alone. Hugs *hug*
And thanks everyone for replying means a lot :thumb:
I can't imagine what you are going through and you need to get some support.
It beggars belief how he can do that to another human being, hurt them, abuse them and defile them and then went without saying anything.
To ensure this thread remains a supportive space for lacey I've removed all comments that take it on a tangent.
If anyone wants to get in touch about this, feel free to.
This is the only place I'm getting support now. It's so frustrating that people have to be like that my family are like that never mind want it on here. I did end up telling my family when I was drunk out my face while staying at their house on halloween so I was safe, unfortunate not safe enough. My sister doesn't like me anyway so she ended up dragging me round the house by my hair and scratching my neck and eyes badly. Like that's what I need really ?? I'm crying now cause of remembering it all. Maybe I should add my sister to that list of stuff on paper I was going to write then burn the paper.
She has apologised but doesn't change the fact she did it to me in that state when I've had that happen to me. This is only place left I can turn because my family don't even want to talk about it they're not like that they just acting like nothing happened :,(
We're here for you and we care.
Some of my family disowned me so I know how you must be feeling. I promise you, you will get through this. It will take some time and it will be hard but you can do it. You're a brave girl and we're all here to try and help you.
Put whatever you want on that list! Anything that you wish you could say or do to whoever, put it on the list. Maybe you could start this now?
Keep posting on here whenever you want to.
Can you get counselling or anything like that?