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Woke up to a guy having with me

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm glad it helped a little bit :)

    If you want to go out with friends and have a few drinks sometimes you could ask them to look after you.

    Don't forget keep posting whenever you want to and let us know how you're getting on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And going to keep out of certain people's way even if we're related because I know that persons true feelings about me and its not good even though I did nothing but be nice. Somehow I irritate her? Talks to me like dirt for months and And then she attacks me :confused:

    Thank you butterfly123 :-) and everyone else for replying *hug* ill still reply too
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Keeping out of her way sounds like a good idea, you don't need people like that around you when you are trying to cope with something like this. *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesnt matter if you were asleep or not, you did not want it to happen, it is rape. Quite odd behaviour from the police.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know how they could not do anything knowing what he did and lying saying i consented to it :( they're probably thinking I am lying but I'm not
    Don't know how gonna move on from this if I ever come to getting in a relationship :crying:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Awful. :( No wonder why so many are scared to report rape.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Lacey

    I know exactly how you feel and I want to offer you big hugs *hug*

    I know that's not going to help, there's nothing that can help how you're feeling but I can promise you that things will get better okay? You just need to give it time and I know that's hard but you'll get through this. One day you'll meet a man that you will learn to trust with your life. I did, I feel in love, I eventually told him what had happened, I loved him and I trusted him and you'll find that one day. I want to repeat that I promise things will get better and we are here for you whenever you need us. Keep posting.

    The person that abused me did it to another person and she reported him, I was scared so I didn't report him and he only got a suspended sentence. This made me feel even worse but I am proof that you will get through this. Yes it still upsets me and I still think about it but I have learnt to live with it and it doesn't take over my life anymore. What happened to you won't take over your life. You're so brave, don't forget that.

    Do you have anything to do that helps distract you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hugs darling, i know how you feel,
    apart from my bestfriend left me while he was doing it, even though she heard me screaming for him to stop.

    i did what i thought was best and phoned the police straight away, it was so hard, and i couldn't stop crying, but he was arrested and put on bail and spent a night in the cell, you may have heard of St Mary's? they offer such amazing support, I really would encourage you to talk to them on the phone or emailing them.

    you're really brave to have posted on here, and if you ever want to talk you can always message me <3
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear that SophiePea, I will give st Mary's a try thank you hope ur doing well x

    Im glad you've got a wonderful partner now butterfly123.
    I do have things to distract me, Seeing my family and friends stops me thinking about it. And I work in a school apart from today thats why im on here because i watched this morning on itv there was a girl on there who was raped repeatedly by different men every night and it makes me sick. Then I remember and feel like how she must be feeling.
    I'm sure ill be ok in a while I'm just glad to not have to be with a guy right now. I certainly don't want to. But your right it must be with someone very trusting and loyal before anything happens .
    I need to watch more things were the men are very nice lol

    Sick of seeing things what men have done I know women are sometimes no different but it just put takes my faith away that there are not even any nice men out there ill get that feeling to go
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We split up now, but my point is that I found someone eventually after what happened and you will too.

    I know, it's horrible seeing what such nasty men have done to all of these women and I still have to turn the TV over when something like that is being mentioned. I barely watch the news anymore.

    Make as many plans with family and friends that you can, give it time. Hug people, you don't have to tell them you're upset just grab a hug every now and then and let yourself know that you have people that care. We care too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's probably best that I don't watch anything like that or read it either.
    Ill take on your advice too
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, avoid anything on telly, in books, in magazines, don't let anyone talk about anything like that to you because it will only make things worse.

    We're here whenever you need to vent or moan or whatever. Hugs *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, avoid anything on telly, in books, in magazines, don't let anyone talk about anything like that to you because it will only make things worse.

    I have no personal experience about what you've gone through, but this doesn't feel like healthy advice. I'm concerned that if you avoid all talk of what happened and related subjects you will stunt your healing process.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    I have no personal experience about what you've gone through, but this doesn't feel like healthy advice. I'm concerned that if you avoid all talk of what happened and related subjects you will stunt your healing process.

    I just want to avoid hearing about anything like this but it won't make me avoid everything
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    I have no personal experience about what you've gone through, but this doesn't feel like healthy advice. I'm concerned that if you avoid all talk of what happened and related subjects you will stunt your healing process.

    While it is all still so raw for her. I don't think she should avoid talk of what happened to her and I didn't say that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just wanted to add my thought. Thanks guys.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I appreciate all thoughts thank you fiend _85
    Aslong they're to help and support
    Nothing worse than getting people saying bad things and their posts are deleted now thankfully
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the most important thing is for you to be able to recover that's all that interests me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Going to the police IS hard, but it really helps with recovering from it. All the expect from you is honesty, and they'll tell you about the support you can get for yourself. The DC that looks into it sticks around whenever you need him/her. The DC I had still phones me and asks as I am.

    It IS difficult, but I think if you're able to pluck up the courage and talk to them, you will feel better, even if your first thoughts and feelings is guilt. *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've actually been quite strong apart from little moments I get into because of it. And I can't stand the fact that my own family thinks I feel sorry for myself but when other people get upset they are "sensitive" Im sensitive I don't feel sorry for myself at all. I don't try to get attention or nothing I go away and have my moments to my self without anyone knowing. They don't even acknowledge I've been raped :,(
    And so Im made to be strong on my own

    YOU JUDGEMENTAL PEOPLE MAY THINK OH WELL U SHOULDN'T HVE TOOK HIM HOME IN FIRST PLACE WELL LOADS OF PEOPLE DO IT I GREW UP KNOWING MY OWN COUSINS DID IT BUT It HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE AND U NEVER THINK IT GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU WELL I DO NOW!. I DID FEEL THAT IT WAS WRONG BUT I WOULD HAVE TO WALK HOME IN THE DARK ON MY OWN AND IT TAKES AN OVER TO GET THERE AND I DIDN'T HAVE MY BROTHERS NUMBER SO HE COULD PICK ME UP I KNEW HE WOULD OF PICKED ME UP t:crying:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't see the point in replying to my support worker she probably thinks am lying aswell!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're not alone. We don't think you're lying and we're here for you. I'm sure your support worker doesn't think you're lying. Maybe your family aren't sure how to deal with this either..

    You are a strong girl and you will get through this. Don't ever think you brought this on yourself because you didn't. This guy did something awful to you and he is to blame 100 percent and he will get what's coming to him.

    Keep posting, we're here. Keep letting us know how you're doing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've just got so much anger in me :grump: I've had a Councellor before for my depression which I've now got antidepressants for bit didnt like talking face to face to a stranger
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's understandable that you're feeling angry.

    What do you want to talk about with someone? There are helplines that specialise in things.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think there'll always be a part of me that'll be angry...definatly
    I feel much calmer now I've taken up alot of exercise and haven't thought about anything bad since I last posted
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good to hear from you, and I'm glad you've been feeling a lot calmer! :) hugs *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you :)
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