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You do have to talk to someone about it, I understand you care about the children a lot but this is not right. And, you do feel you love him, so does my mother after years of abuse, she feels love and care for my step dad but, it has affected both me and my sister on many levels.
And, for one she still believes she holds him an obligation when he took care of us but, it is not true. My mother has given a lot in this relationship and has sacrificed too but, all she receives is verbal and physical abuse.
I do not want to put you in negative or want you think what you're doing is wrong, I know you're doing your best but, you need to talk to him or someone must and it has to stop. He has to treat you with respect after all that you're doing for his children and him. Sorry, if I said too much.
Not at all. I'm sorry you're feeling angry with yourself but I also recognize that it's not easy to walk away, at all. Even though you know it's not good for you, at this point it time there's likely to be something that's keeping you there - do you know what that might be? Is there something you feel will be lost if you leave? *hug*
I think you need to ask yourself how long you've been wondering if it will get better.
You are not responsible for changing him or "making him better", just as none of this is your fault, at all. This isn't your life forever, it can change if you would like it to. Even thinking about leaving is a huge step, but from my perspective, the fact that you are considering it, despite how casually, suggests that you do want things to change.
If/when you feel comfortable in contacting them, TESS and Women's Aid will be able to give you support. I don't know if Get Connected has already been linked - sorry if it has - but they provide 1-2-1 webchat and will be able to give you details of organisations near to you as well as be able to safely talk about you circumstances.
Hang in there x
Thanks Ella.
Gettimng drunk might numb the pain in the moment, but it isn't really useful in the long run, you've mentioned mindfulness, maybe it would of been worth giving that ago, allowing yourself to calm down? Would you like to talk a bit about what happened last night?
He says stuff and we argue and he gets right in my face. I should shut up then but I carry on the argument.
Been out today since lunch time, just got back and already he's being a prick! saying hurtful things, got a fucking attitude for god knows what reason. He's done sod all today, not even washed up. He thinks I should do it all! AHHHHHH!! I feel sick. I feel angry and sad and I just want to scream! Why is he so horrible!? He text me today saying that he missed me and that he loved me... now I've come home to this! I don't care how many pain killers I've had today, going to have a drink. Need to calm down.
Just feel like shit, want to hurt myself. Got the vodka so I'll deal with it.
I'm sat here in the bathroom crying.
I got sexually abused by my cousin, it stopped about 2-3 years ago, last night after he smacked me again he said I deserved that off my cousin and I was probably gagging for it and that he hopes it happens again
I've been trying to think all morning why I'm here still.. I don't know but in my head its like leaving isn't an option. Well its an option, but not something I can do. Do you understand what I'm saying? Don't know if it makes sense.
Just gonna take some pain killers and do some ironing. Maybe if I do all the washing and ironing, when he wakes up he'll be less angry.
It does make sense, no doubt there are fond memories and you're scared you can't do better. But you really can - it's a case of wanting to have better for yourself. There's an article in Cosmo that you might find interesting - it says that women who are abused are usually happier than they expected to be when they leave. Take a look and let us know what you think.
I wish with all of my heart that I could take that step and walk out of here but I don't understand why I can't. I hate this, I hate feeling like this, I hate having to live off pain killers that make me tired to feel a bit more relaxed.
I wish I had the guts and the money to go somewhere far away on my own until all of this is over.
What's happened, Butterfly? *hug*'s.
Please remember this is not your fault, there are options and people who will help.