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:'(
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
He's just told me to pack my stuff and leave! 
I'm alone, I'm crying and I don't know what to do.. I'm going out for a walk. I just wanted to tell someone
I'm alone, I'm crying and I don't know what to do.. I'm going out for a walk. I just wanted to tell someone 0
Comments
Sorry to hear about he situation you're in, it sounds rather overwhelming, do you have any friends you could stay with for now? Just until you get somewhere to stay?
Best wishes,
Angel
I don't have the guts to leave, even though he hurts me. I had to do loads of stuff last night if 'I wanted to stay' so I'm still here. I know I'm stupid but I'm not brave enough to leave. I do love him..
It sounds like you're in a really tough situation here. It's really important that you think about what's best for you. You're definitely not stupid because you've stayed. It does sound like it might not be the best environment for you right at the moment, and I'd suggest having a look at this article on TheSite and asking yourself if some or any of it rings true for you.
Identifying a problem is the first step to combating it, and it sounds like you do want to do something to change the situation, even if you feel you can't quite make that step yet.
Having a safe space is also really important - and it's just as important whether you're living with a partner, a random housemate, or on your own - so can you think of somewhere that you feel safe that might be a good place to spend some time if things escalate again? As Angel suggested, thinking about a trusted friend or family member you can go and see (you don't even necessarily have to stay with them) to spend a bit of time away from it all, might be a good idea for you. You don't even have to tell them the reason you want to visit/stay if you don't want to (although talking it out with someone you trust could also be a positive step?).
Whatever's going on, let us know how you're doing - you're always welcome here and nobody's going to judge what you do
best wishes,
*Seany*
I do have family I can stay with but he hates it when I go to their houses. He always brings it up in an argument and always says such hurtful things about them. I hate it, I feel like this should make me just leave him because I love my family to pieces and I hate him when he says things about them but I can't go. I've never loved any man before him.
how are you doing today?
I am not fully aware of your situation but as others have said it doesn't sound like it's a good place for you right now. The very fact that you're questioning what's going on tells me you're not happy. I'm assuming it's a partner from the way you are speaking??
You absolutely will not change them, what you are seeing right now is this person and it sounds like they're not treating you very well. If they want to change that has to come from them not you.
How long have you been in this situation?
dp
I cut myself yesterday, it made me feel relieved and calmer after I had done it.
It's my fiance, and I'm not happy. recently he's been shouting all of the time and making my mood worse.
I think it was around march time he hit me for the first time and since then he was hurting me a lot more and shouting a lot more. It's only over these past 3 weeks he's been getting worse. Everday he shouts or does something to upset me.
We've been together for nearly 3 years, he's the first man I've ever loved and even after everything I do still love him. I'm always the one that says sorry and I always do what he wants so I'm just as much to blame.
Today he wants me to go with him and the kids to meet his new friend, his friends girlfriend and their kids. This is not something I want to do, I'm not in the right mind frame for that so I'm going to tell him I don't want to go. I'll say it's because I feel sick but I bet he still gets moody with me about it.
Having my hair done today so I'm going to have to put on a brave face.
I just wish that I could make all these crappy feelings go away!
Is this something you and your fiance could talk about? Does he realise how he's behaving?
Is there anyone you can talk to about what's happening?
dp
He doesn't like me seeing my family, it causes more problems. I wouldn't talk to them about this anyway and I don't really have anyone else.
I was in a happy mood tonight, he was being nice too but he's just come upstairs to me, to go to bed and he's in a right mood and apparently its my fault!! So he's just been calling me names and saying I don't respect him. Now I feel sad and angry.
Head! Ahhh!
He does have more bad days than good. I have thought about leaving but it scares me.. and I have the kids to think about, even though they're not my kids they love me and I love them.
I know I probably sound stupid. Sorry. I'm just confused and don't know how to deal with this.
You don't sound stupid, you're thinking about the things which factor into your life, whilst taking into account the lives of other people.
I'm saying this out of kindness, but also out of worry: I've been in your position. I have tried to convince myself that the good times outweigh the bad and that he did love me. I've listened to the excuses, all the "I'm sorry"s, all the "I don't know what I did you deserve you"s and I believed every single one. Yes, it worked for a while, but at the cost of my safety. A relationship shouldn't make you scared, there shouldn't be the dictation of who you can and can't see. It shouldn't be negatively impacting on your life. That's not love, that's control and there's a huge difference.
No one can make the choice about leaving besides you. But there are options if you do and I promise you, there is life outside of this relationship.
*hug*
Thank you ella. You were really brave to leave.
Not just his, someone else was involved.
I know abusive relationships are hard to get out of, but you need to start thinking about what happens when the abuse escalates. Because it almost always does.
I know something worse will probably happen but I can't leave, if I could I wouldn't be moaning on here, I would have walked away. I wish it was that easy but it's not. So if something happens then it's my fault because I'm the one sticking around.
He's in a friggin' horrible mood for some reason but he won't tell me why! I keep asking him and he says 'eating' or 'tired'.
I'm going to hurt myself cause I can't deal with this.
Hey butterfly, just wondered if you've seen ella's post above and have had a look at the Women's Aid website? Do you have any thoughts about it at the moment.
It's really difficult when you feel communication is breaking down.
I'm sorry to hear you feel the need to hurt yourself as a way to deal with what's going on, have you ever used TESS for support? It's another one we regularly recommend and have had good feedback on.
I'll stop posting on here if you want me to. I know people have tried to help me so I shouldn't be going on and on.