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Lots of love and hugs x
im glad I posted here instead of dwelling on it all day, think i'll leave it actually
By the sounds of it she's being very supportive - so even if she was double checking that there's no sign of any harm to B, if she's being helpful and saying that there's no child protection issue then it's probably so she can fight your corner more strongly.
I think I was just being paranoid. She has been very supportive. Someone from the mental health team is coming tomorrow morning to assess me. Hopefully they can help.
if im referred to the crisis team apparently social services are automatically involved and do an assessment on baxter. yet when I contested this and said my hv has no concerns was told that if hv can vouch for it then social services don't have to be involved.
so I guess it isn't automatic then!
all kinds of wtf going on in my head now
If referred to crisis team them social services get notified. Social services do a first pass assessment - which involves contacting HV. HV says all is fine. Social services 'assessment' complete.
This is probably the case. It'll be all about systems and procedure with SS.
There is automatic SS involvement here if your child attends A&E 3 times in 6 months, but that's not to say that if that happens there is definitely suspicion involved. Can be as simple as SS access medical records to find 3 common childhood injuries. They contact HV, who reports a happy, well-cared for but very clumsy child! Matter goes no further.
It's hard not to feel judged, but you have to remember that they have systems in place to identify children in danger, and it is better for children who are in no danger to fall into these catchment areas than it is for vulnerable children to slip through the net.
I think i'm just overly sensitive right now. thanks for bringing me back to earth (again) guys
Motherhood and degrees are totally different. Having the information about SS and facing a visit from them for real and are so different, mainly the emotional factors involved in being a new mum... You're bound to feel sensitive and anyone who suggests otherwise hasn't experienced the crazy hormones or sleepless nights and everything else.
You're not doing a bad job at all, lovely.
just sent josh another message telling him I hate him and blaming his work hours for my self harm.
how nasty can I get before he dumps me??
You are doing a great job, just keep plugging away. Josh won't dump you, he loves you and he loves your family.
im not well, stretched beyond the end of my tether. you must have seen the good suggestions on fb for sorting out a sleep routine for b starting with sleep training. I cant even implement any of that because of how im feeling. I don't have the energy but know its just gonna be a neverending cycle otherwise.
on the plus side my emo crying seems to have sent b to sleep!! sensitive chap eh :yeees:
and I appreciate you reading this thread hulby and hope it isn't freaking you out cos really its just a mixture of our crappy personal circumstances. it isn't all doom and gloom. I just lack any perspective right now
How about another text, assuming this is right, saying you're sorry, you don't mean it, you're just struggling.
I know that would be the logical thing to have done but he's so used to it. I apologise so much that it must just seem meaningless to him now.
You do need to see an advisor or spend some time working out your finances yourselves, and Josh needs to be home as much as possible to spend time with B as well as to support you. Hopefully you can see some room for him to cut down a bit in your finances, working six days a week isn't doing anyone any good including Josh.
and don't worry about freaking me out
Also, remember that you can have a pretty good go at a first part of budgeting and finance side of things yourself. You're a smart cookie and you can most definitely count - so do you think it would be possible to have a shot at it yourself?
There's probably a few people on here who would help if you made a start.
had a mini meltdown this morning which resulted in josh not going to work.. but we had a pretty good day and went to the park. also been looking at our budget plan online and josh has made an appointment to see someone at his bank about a loan that can be paid off over a longer period with hopefully not much interest.
if we can do that then he'd no longer need to work at the gym fingers crossed
josh is booked in for a telephone call with a debt advisory line on Thursday so we can work out whether a loan would really work. Bit frustrated because he said he'd need to give the gym at least a month's notice to stay on good terms with them. It's understandable but kinda defeats the purpose of needing him around pronto.
My mum's partner is still coming over most days to give me a hand and I'm seeing a consultant tomorrow. fingers crossed for everything at the moment.
I don't deserve to be a mum
*hug*
Also (as a bit of an aside) there was an interesting report a few weeks ago about how new mums with MH issues are missing out on vital support, just to put it into context a bit.