If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
my godfather's very ill
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello. My godfather had a heart attack on sunday, and has been unconscious since. He is one of my favourite people in the whole world, and I'm so scared and sad. No one's allowed to see him atm so there's no point going back home to visit.
On thursday night I said something that made this happen. What can I do to make him alright? It's my fault he's like this, I can't let him die.
On thursday night I said something that made this happen. What can I do to make him alright? It's my fault he's like this, I can't let him die.
0
Comments
sorry to hear about ur grandfather . itrs nice tio have someone close and u love. dont blame ur-self its not ur fault that that happened. i hope u get to see him soon. u can make or buy him get well soon card and a pressent to cheer him up. hope he will be fine. they can give him meds to help him too
I agree. I hope he recovers fully, and soon.
I've stopped thinking that it's my fault, I think that that was just the first night when I was so scared and there was nobody else there in the house to talk to.
If I have the opportunity, should I go and see him before his POSSIBLE death? Last time I saw him we were all really happy and we both had a really lovely time. I don't really want to have a last memory of him unconscious in a hospital bed but I'm worried I'll regret it if I don't.
It hasn't taken away the good memories seeing her like that, it's just made me appreciate them more. Would you be able to go to the hospital with some of the family, and then decide when you're there whether you want to go in?
Huge hugs to you, please feel free to PM me if you'd like a chat.
Why do you say that?
because his life support machine has been turned off.
Sorry, I missed that.
Grace, I'm sure you know from other threads that a lot of us have been where you are now. Please ask us for any help we can give you.
You can tell her. When people are beginning to grieve, all of that support and those words of love are very important.
I bet he knows you love him, some things don't need to be said in order to be true.
Huge hugs. Are you in a position to visit your GP about how the grief is affecting your mental health? The two are very closely related and it's completely normal to feel as though you're falling to pieces. That doesn't make it any less shit, of course.
*hug*
he's still alive, although getting worse and worse. i think i'm going to go in today, give him a kiss and say goodbye, for the last time, even if he 'lives' another week. i hope he doesn't feel like i'm abandoning him.
last night was bad. i called the samaritans in the end, who were wonderful, and i talked to a lady about my relationship with him, and stuff we do. that calmed me down enough to go and do some baking. i haven't slept at all, but i've got loads of cakes.
Brilliant. I'm really glad you're back in the UK during all of this, I was worried you were stranded in France.
I'm sure your godfather's wife would appreciate a piece of those cakes whilst she's hanging around in the hospital.
don't know whether i should go back to france tomorrow. i want to have something to do but i also want to be with my family.
I agree. I also think the support of your family will be very important right now.
Grieving can be very confusing and emotional, especially as perhaps it feels like you are in limbo now waiting to see what will happen or when. Everything you feel is in itself a process to deal with all this - the Cruse Bereavement Care gives a good list of natural feelings you are experiencing or will potentially experience.
It's nice to have your family around you - and do keep posting - as everyone says there is a lot of support and hugs here for you :yes: *hug*
I just spoke to my godmother on the phone, and she said it would be really nice to see me tomorrow, but I don't think I can go back to the hospital. I really don't want to let her down, but I wanted today to be IT. I'm not strong enough to keep saying goodbye to him, but I want to make things as easy as possible for her.
Thank you to everyone that's helping x
She won't leave his room, I can't see her without seeing him. My mum's seeing her tonight so if she asks, I think mum'll explain what's going through my head. I wanted to explain myself but she's asleep right now so calling will make things worse. I don't want her to feel I've abandoned her
I've got another night on my own, and I don't know if I'll be able to sleep.
I just want him to die now, and I feel like an awful awful person for wanting that. His body's falling to pieces, and everyone around him is getting more and more stricken.
I'm so sorry to read this thread, Grace. It's so hard to have to sit around and wait when you know the inevitable has to happen. I hope it isn't dragged out for too long.
Do you have another relative who you could stay with while your parents are at the hospital? Or a friend who could come over? Perhaps you could call a friend or relative for a chat if not? This isn't a good time to be on your own so much. If things do take longer, maybe your parents could take it in turns to go to the hospital so you're not left alone?
We're here for you x
My sister called and we talked for ages about nothing, but now she's gone it's really quiet and I sort of feel worse. I don't really have anyone that lives near enough that I could stay with, if it had happened to anyone else, it would be him I'd stay with. I think if I asked one of my parents to stay home with me, they would, but I'd feel terrible for the one at the hospital alone, it's harrowing being there given that both of them see him as a shell and have already said goodbye. It would be