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I need to get well and stay well!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've experienced mental health issues for the past 10 years + and I've just moved out of London, partly in the hope that I'll get better access to services, but also because I'm a part time-ish carer for my mother who has ME, and she needs somewhere quiet and stable to get better in. I'm also in my final year of a degree, and I have virtually no confidence in my work or myself as a person right now. I've found myself feeling really down again, I think mainly because I'm totally overwhelmed. I've gone to my new GP, but obviously she can't do anything till she has my notes. I don't want to be reliant on medication again, it just doesn't agree with me and I have a lot of drug allergies it makes it difficult to prescribe for me (I have to be seen by a psychiatric pharmasist and is bloody difficult to get to see them, if there even is a specialist once available!)
I suppose my biggest concern right now is I want to get better, and I know I can, but how can I stay this way? I was told I'd grow out of the PTSD, and I never did, and I just feel like my life is totally defined by these cycles. I feel like my teens were pretty much consumed by flashbacks, panic attacks and periods of depression, I'm so desperate for the same to not happen to my twenties as well.
I suppose my biggest concern right now is I want to get better, and I know I can, but how can I stay this way? I was told I'd grow out of the PTSD, and I never did, and I just feel like my life is totally defined by these cycles. I feel like my teens were pretty much consumed by flashbacks, panic attacks and periods of depression, I'm so desperate for the same to not happen to my twenties as well.
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Routine, a balance between work, other activities, and chill out time. Also, getting you mum to look after herself more, and getting her to use outside services for support rather than just depending on you.
Take it slowly with the new GP, and find out what's on in your new area, including the little things like where's nice to go out for a stroll in the sunshine, what sports/exercise activities are available etc.
It seems strange that your Mum isn't recieving benefits of some description. Our advice would be to visit the CAB, but sound's like you've tried that... perhaps go again and try to speak to someone different, also workers at the local Carers support group should be able to help you. You can also try posting in our 'home, law & money' forum about it to see what people there advise?
Good luck & keep posting to let us know how you are getting on. Take care
Note I said your mum trying to get her benefits sorted.
On the otherhand, my uni mentor is worried about me, because I'm finding it really hard to shut off, not sleeping well (having to take quite life - like a herbal nightol) and I'm listening to my hypnotherapy tapes which normaly help me sleep like a log and having a chamomile tea before bed, and i'll get to sleep, but I'll wake up 4 times in the night remembering things I need to do. I've started avoiding mirrors again, which I know is alway a bad sign, and I'm just feeling generally a bit melancholic. She wants me to think about trying something like Venlafaxine or something similar. I know they're not SSRIs but I'd really rather not. Theres got to be another way...
It can sometimes really help with the waking up in the night, or at least getting back to sleep afterwards as you brain doesn't then go into overdrive thinking that it needs to make sure it remembers something, can relax again because it's safe on the list.
From personal experience, i would try ANY OTHER anti depressant rather than this one first, the withdrawal effects (for me) were just not worth it, it's taken me the best part of a year to reduce from 75mg to 5mg :yuck:
I've already tried citalopram and setraline, and i've been told fluroxitine isn't a good idea for me.
I'm going to start with a new therapist tomorrow, unfortunatly one I have to pay for (at least until I can get referred by my GP, then I can access the patient fund).
I talked to my other half about all of this last night, and he was quite easy going about all of it. I'm not sure how I feel about that, I was kind of expecting him to leap to my defence and tell me that I seem perfectly fine. But evidently I don't so...maybe I should...
Just the total expence! So expencive to get meds every week again... I just hope I can remember to get a pre-payment cert again.
I've looked into local support groups and not really found very much...
Anything else people have tried thats helped? I'm doing exercise when I can, I eat really well. Yes I admitt, I have very little time for me, but thats the way the world goes...
God luck with the new therapist tomorrow, keep posting and let us know how it goes? Shame that you are having to pay for it at the mo, but it sound's like you know what you have to do to claim that back once the GP referral goes through.
Your partner sound's like he's being supportive and realistic. At least he seems to have noticed that things aren't amazing for you at the moment, it would perhaps be more worrying if he thought that everything was fine....
Seems like you want to give the new meds suggested a try? If you are worried about the side-effects or have any other concerns, maybe run these by the therapist tomorrow?
Exercise is a great release and way of coping with emotions. Have you thought about taking up another kind of hobby you can do at home, at your lesuire, that isn't too time consuming or expensive? Something creative perhaps? Writing, reading, dawing, knitting, model making.... I was in Hobby Craft today and there was LOADS of craft ideas - do you have one near you that you could visit for some inspiration?
Take care,
This is a good idea. I'm not particularly creative, suck at most forms of art, so I took up knitting and after a couple of months getting to grips with it I got completely addicted.
I've gotten worse, I saw Suckerpunch at the weekend, which just felt like my worst nightmare played out on a screen. I stayed until the end because I was with my boyfriend and his mates, and didn't want to cause a scene, but he knew I wasn't feeling good, and ended up holding me most of the evening whilst I cried. I'm totally exhausted, battling with uni to get my degree done and finish with a 2:1, it feel like I can't be creative because its all crap, and I don't know what I need to do to get help. I'm living in an area where I have no friends of my own, I just starting to think I've made life difficult for myself again but I couldn't have stayed where I was before.
How do you go meet people in a new area, if you don't want to hang about in pubs on your own, have no self confidence and are too old for youth groups, and have no time for volunteering?
Realistically for you to get well and stay well you need to stop looking after your mum and taking on her mess of a life. You're not in a fit state at the moment to sort your own life out and keep that going well, that means you're definitely not in a state to sort someone elses out.
It's harsh, and it's blunt, but long term the best thing you can do for your mum is sort yourself out.
Have you tried chasing your notes from your previous GP? It might be worth finding out if you can request a copy, and then give those to the new GP if it speeds the process up.
I know that I need to do less for my mum, but I can't just leave her to get on with everything, and we can't get any help until she can get some benefits, which is still being processed it seems.
I've been looking for other groups, I can't seem to find much, seeing as sports are not my idea of fun and church is a total no-no. I'll keep looking though...
What about a community choir? Or a local Mind service?
Mum has now said she wants to go and talk to social services about getting some help, but I have a feeling they will turn around and tell her that she needs to sell the house, which she can't sell, or she isn't in enough need.