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Borrowing money from a parent
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Do you think if you have a chat to them about your course and the fact you will be in a difficult financial position they would offer ?
My parents lent me the money without any real expectations of getting it back at any point soon but if they do lend it to you then you should agree when you will be able to pay back and how, because I know that has caused problems for my friends in the past.
Result. But to be honest, she's paid for all my sisters so it was just me asking her to be consistent . I think if you do it in a mature and grown up way he won't hold it against you!
im borrowing £10k of my parents to do a masters next year, but i am paying them back when i have a job but on the pluss side i dont have to worry about accomodation etc as i can afford it now.
I'm not sure I would do it this way round, I would personally never ask my parents for money with the initial intention of it being a gift. It would be much more respectful to ask for it as a loan and if he chooses to waiver it in the future then that is his choice.
I agree with this.
Absolutely, I wouldn't ask for such a large amount of money as a gift
I will be in this situation soon as its unlikely we will be able to afford a house in the near future without a bit of help from the rentals. Its hard asking because I'm not sure how much my parents have to comfortably lend and I don't want them to put themselves out for me
Katchika, if you know they're alright for money then I wouldn't worry about asking. Just say why you want to borrow it and that you'll pay it back by such and such
Well I think its better than a person can manage their own debt sensibly rather than relying on handouts. Borrowing off a parent is a good way of doing this as sensible terms and conditions can be set. Debt is a part of modern life* and a small amount isn't a problem if its managed properly.
Man I feel cheeky asking to borrow never mind asking to be given a load of money
*ETA - by this I don't mean the ridiculous amount of debt that people get into buying superficial things they can't afford. I mean borrowing for a mortgage, or education - something that will pay for itself and more in later life
I think it's a shame you accept debt as a part of modern life and would prefer for myself and my children to start off in life free from those constraints. The previous generation's education and housing debts don't really compare to the debts for this generation, where housing is a basic human need too. I think it's disgusting really and shouldn't be accepted or encouraged, but rejected for an in credit way of living. Slaves to the banks, why be slaves/endebted to friends and family and those who ar supposed to love us?
I've started drawing the line all over the place and it doesn't half cause a stink. Try setting up standing orders a month in advance fro what services you think you might use rather than allowing credit card payments or direct debits monthly in areas with companies and see how the culture of indebtedness is ingrained and hard to get around. It can be done but you have to be fucing persistant. As my debts get smaller and my life is lived more and more in credit, I feel much happier and freer, my money is mine to spend or save how I want and not owed to anyone and therefor eI am free. Try it.
His joy will be that you got big enough to ask.
He's still alowed his limited choices of course.
So its better not to buy a house or get an education because of debt? Or save up until you can afford it, which will be never.
I have accepted that there will be debts in my life, my parents have lent me money in the past, for university, a new car when mine got written off and when my shitty landlord took 500 quid off our bond unfairly, an example of where I'd rather be a slave to the bank than a slave to the landlord. Each of these times I could have supported myself but I chose to go into debt for a short while so I wasn't living uncomfortably and pay my parents back at a rate I could afford
I don't think its sad that I accept that there will be debts in my life, as long as I can pay them off reasonably. The only debt I have at the moment is a interest free overdraft which I used to buy my car (as well as some money from my parents). I will pay this off before the interest free runs out so I don't see the problem. If this option wasn't available I would have gone for something cheaper. I hate being in debt but I appreciate mortgages, and student costs are inevitable for where you want to be in life. I pay off every debt I have as quickly as possible but it doesn't mean that I cant appreciate their necessity in the modern world
And to your last sentence, are you saying that parents don't love their children if they don't give them free handouts? Because thats what it sounds like
Nope, I don't think giving your children money is ANY indication of love, whether you have it or not, and as Mr Roll says, if you ask they can say yes or no as they please if you ask without emotional pressure or prejudice as I assume anyone would.
Idealistically though, I do find it sad that it is currently, as you say and describe, almost without exception a neccessity of life to take on and manage debts. I looked but can't find the link that I'd like to direct you to for more insight into what I'm saying but, I was watching an online show about our and america's debt culture, including the money system and an alternative way was presented. In that sense, I still find it sad that we (including myself, apart from the steps I have taken to change my credit/debit balance) accept that we set ourselves up with debts.
If you look at house price at the moment... there was a time when someone on an average wage could buy a decent house and expect to pay itoff at a reasonable rate in a reasonable amount of time, it's not really the same now with the ratio of house prices to average wages so drastcally different.
No offense intended, especailly not about parental love, you with me?
No offence taken to anything you said, I think we are mostly agreed anyway - that its best to get into as little debt as possible