Home Home, Law & Money
At The Mix, we want to make our services as helpful as we can. To do this, we’d love to ask you a few questions about you, your visit to The Mix and its impact. It should take only about 5-10 minutes to complete. Take this survey and get a chance at winning a £200 Amazon voucher​.
Come and join our Support Circle, every Tuesday, 8 - 9:30pm! Sign up here

Borrowing money from a parent

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
//

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have borrowed money from my parents, a few thousand for repairs to my house and they offered after I was telling them about the predicament of having no money and the repairs being urgent etc.

    Do you think if you have a chat to them about your course and the fact you will be in a difficult financial position they would offer ?

    My parents lent me the money without any real expectations of getting it back at any point soon but if they do lend it to you then you should agree when you will be able to pay back and how, because I know that has caused problems for my friends in the past.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would ask. You don't need to beg, just ask them in a sensible adult to adult way. I wouldn't ask as a loan though, I would just ask for the money as a parental gift in the first instance, he can say no if the answer's no so there's no need to worry about asking really. If he says yes, yippe - quids in; if he says no - ask about loan; if he still says no, say thank you anyway and that you understand it's up to him what he does with his money, no hard feelings and you're sure you'll work it out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your best bet is explain the situation honestly to your parents. My previous employer missed out my first pay so that it backdated (and thus added) to the next month's. I got given £1k to last for my missing month then simply paid it back when the employer squared up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heh, the other day I said to my mum 'so, you're paying for my driving lessons then?', 'No I am not! You pay for my house!', 'half seems fair then', 'ok then, but I've already paid for one!'

    Result. But to be honest, she's paid for all my sisters so it was just me asking her to be consistent ;). I think if you do it in a mature and grown up way he won't hold it against you!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think that you should ask if you know that your dad can affrord to give it to you, and assure him you will pay him back if you are:)
    im borrowing £10k of my parents to do a masters next year, but i am paying them back when i have a job :) but on the pluss side i dont have to worry about accomodation etc as i can afford it now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    I would ask. You don't need to beg, just ask them in a sensible adult to adult way. I wouldn't ask as a loan though, I would just ask for the money as a parental gift in the first instance, he can say no if the answer's no so there's no need to worry about asking really. If he says yes, yippe - quids in; if he says no - ask about loan; if he still says no, say thank you anyway and that you understand it's up to him what he does with his money, no hard feelings and you're sure you'll work it out.

    I'm not sure I would do it this way round, I would personally never ask my parents for money with the initial intention of it being a gift. It would be much more respectful to ask for it as a loan and if he chooses to waiver it in the future then that is his choice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Splodgey wrote: »
    I'm not sure I would do it this way round, I would personally never ask my parents for money with the initial intention of it being a gift. It would be much more respectful to ask for it as a loan and if he chooses to waiver it in the future then that is his choice.

    I agree with this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Splodgey wrote: »
    I'm not sure I would do it this way round, I would personally never ask my parents for money with the initial intention of it being a gift. It would be much more respectful to ask for it as a loan and if he chooses to waiver it in the future then that is his choice.

    Absolutely, I wouldn't ask for such a large amount of money as a gift

    I will be in this situation soon as its unlikely we will be able to afford a house in the near future without a bit of help from the rentals. Its hard asking because I'm not sure how much my parents have to comfortably lend and I don't want them to put themselves out for me

    Katchika, if you know they're alright for money then I wouldn't worry about asking. Just say why you want to borrow it and that you'll pay it back by such and such
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I completely disagree. I find it terrible the way young people set up their lives on debt, by neccessity most of the time and if, as a parent, there's a way to negate the debt a young adult starts their full working life in, I would think that's the best route.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do see your point but the question I would ask is where do you draw the line?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    I completely disagree. I find it terrible the way young people set up their lives on debt, by neccessity most of the time and if, as a parent, there's a way to negate the debt a young adult starts their full working life in, I would think that's the best route.

    Well I think its better than a person can manage their own debt sensibly rather than relying on handouts. Borrowing off a parent is a good way of doing this as sensible terms and conditions can be set. Debt is a part of modern life* and a small amount isn't a problem if its managed properly.

    Man I feel cheeky asking to borrow never mind asking to be given a load of money

    *ETA - by this I don't mean the ridiculous amount of debt that people get into buying superficial things they can't afford. I mean borrowing for a mortgage, or education - something that will pay for itself and more in later life
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ask to borrow £2000 and then he will think he has got a deal when you both agree on £1000 ... ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kangoo wrote: »
    *ETA - by this I don't mean the ridiculous amount of debt that people get into buying superficial things they can't afford. I mean borrowing for a mortgage, or education - something that will pay for itself and more in later life

    I think it's a shame you accept debt as a part of modern life and would prefer for myself and my children to start off in life free from those constraints. The previous generation's education and housing debts don't really compare to the debts for this generation, where housing is a basic human need too. I think it's disgusting really and shouldn't be accepted or encouraged, but rejected for an in credit way of living. Slaves to the banks, why be slaves/endebted to friends and family and those who ar supposed to love us?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Splodgey wrote: »
    I do see your point but the question I would ask is where do you draw the line?

    I've started drawing the line all over the place and it doesn't half cause a stink. Try setting up standing orders a month in advance fro what services you think you might use rather than allowing credit card payments or direct debits monthly in areas with companies and see how the culture of indebtedness is ingrained and hard to get around. It can be done but you have to be fucing persistant. As my debts get smaller and my life is lived more and more in credit, I feel much happier and freer, my money is mine to spend or save how I want and not owed to anyone and therefor eI am free. Try it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    His answer is limited ..yes no.
    His joy will be that you got big enough to ask.
    He's still alowed his limited choices of course.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    I think it's a shame you accept debt as a part of modern life and would prefer for myself and my children to start off in life free from those constraints. The previous generation's education and housing debts don't really compare to the debts for this generation, where housing is a basic human need too. I think it's disgusting really and shouldn't be accepted or encouraged, but rejected for an in credit way of living. Slaves to the banks, why be slaves/endebted to friends and family and those who ar supposed to love us?

    So its better not to buy a house or get an education because of debt? Or save up until you can afford it, which will be never.

    I have accepted that there will be debts in my life, my parents have lent me money in the past, for university, a new car when mine got written off and when my shitty landlord took 500 quid off our bond unfairly, an example of where I'd rather be a slave to the bank than a slave to the landlord. Each of these times I could have supported myself but I chose to go into debt for a short while so I wasn't living uncomfortably and pay my parents back at a rate I could afford

    I don't think its sad that I accept that there will be debts in my life, as long as I can pay them off reasonably. The only debt I have at the moment is a interest free overdraft which I used to buy my car (as well as some money from my parents). I will pay this off before the interest free runs out so I don't see the problem. If this option wasn't available I would have gone for something cheaper. I hate being in debt but I appreciate mortgages, and student costs are inevitable for where you want to be in life. I pay off every debt I have as quickly as possible but it doesn't mean that I cant appreciate their necessity in the modern world

    And to your last sentence, are you saying that parents don't love their children if they don't give them free handouts? Because thats what it sounds like
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah yes, practically in the climate we are currently in, I agree with you in theory and have done/do many of the things you describe above, and don't think there's anything wrong with any of the financial decisions you've described. Other than the first one, which I stand by, my posts were more idealistically based.

    Nope, I don't think giving your children money is ANY indication of love, whether you have it or not, and as Mr Roll says, if you ask they can say yes or no as they please if you ask without emotional pressure or prejudice as I assume anyone would.

    Idealistically though, I do find it sad that it is currently, as you say and describe, almost without exception a neccessity of life to take on and manage debts. I looked but can't find the link that I'd like to direct you to for more insight into what I'm saying but, I was watching an online show about our and america's debt culture, including the money system and an alternative way was presented. In that sense, I still find it sad that we (including myself, apart from the steps I have taken to change my credit/debit balance) accept that we set ourselves up with debts.

    If you look at house price at the moment... there was a time when someone on an average wage could buy a decent house and expect to pay itoff at a reasonable rate in a reasonable amount of time, it's not really the same now with the ratio of house prices to average wages so drastcally different.

    No offense intended, especailly not about parental love, you with me?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with you in theory too, I'd love to have no debts. I find it sad too that we're bound by debt just to live. But I also accept that there's not a lot I can do about it, house prices are phenomenal compared to even a few years ago but we all need a place to live so debt it is

    No offence taken to anything you said, I think we are mostly agreed anyway - that its best to get into as little debt as possible
Sign In or Register to comment.