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Being more than friends...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Can someone give me a walkthrough on how to do that?
I screwed up for the 3rd time i think. Pulled a girl 3 months ago, she broke up with me yesterday because she felt we were becoming more friends and less a couple, told me i mean a lot to her, but as a friend and stuff. Since this isn't the first time it's happening, i suppose it's my fault, but i don't know where exactly i've went wrong. I don't want it to end like this, because in all truth, i feel she's 100% right for me, and i'm really in love with her, but obviously i'm not the right guy for her...
I admit that i have some emotional blockages, and i can't really be myself in a relationship, but i can't get rid of that easily. It would take me a few more months to get to relax and drop my emotional shielding down.
So where's the difference between friends who act like a couple and a real couple?
I screwed up for the 3rd time i think. Pulled a girl 3 months ago, she broke up with me yesterday because she felt we were becoming more friends and less a couple, told me i mean a lot to her, but as a friend and stuff. Since this isn't the first time it's happening, i suppose it's my fault, but i don't know where exactly i've went wrong. I don't want it to end like this, because in all truth, i feel she's 100% right for me, and i'm really in love with her, but obviously i'm not the right guy for her...
I admit that i have some emotional blockages, and i can't really be myself in a relationship, but i can't get rid of that easily. It would take me a few more months to get to relax and drop my emotional shielding down.
So where's the difference between friends who act like a couple and a real couple?
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Of course there are other things aside from the physical side but im a commitment-a-phobe so i dont think i can give advice on that lol
I like her so much, you know when you find a soulmate or someone who you figure is so different from you, but so perfect at the same time...
I'm just not sure how i'd approach the subject, because as of sunday, we're "just mates", and the breakup wasn't the typical fight till death thing, we both laughed over it on our way home. It's all so trippy and strange, i'm just not sure what to tell her...
Personally, I hate seeing couples snogging in public - as far as I'm concerned, not everyone needs to see that. Public showings of affections are over-rated. If I want to show a partner how I feel, I far prefer doing so in private - mainly because there are no limitations. Let's face it, you can't have full sexual intercourse with your partner in a public park, unless you fancy a night in the cells...
*charlotta* i know exactly what you mean, whenever my bfs try put their arms around me in public i tense up, im not into being so touchy in public!
i love public displays of affection, nothing too graphic though!
lol i mean more like picking one on the way to meet her, not buying one. Its so sweet when guys do that
I like public affection when im drunk.. but i dont think that really counts!
The point is that our relationship was so relaxed that in the end it looked like we didn't care about each other, and we both liked that kind of relationship. No calling each other 3x a day, no "i must see you today or i'll die" kind of missing each other... But i know i do care about her a lot... It's just that it didn't look like a relationship at all.
Damn, it's so hard when i have to plan everything, and i know that i'm not gonna say the things i plan to when the adrenaline hits me...
:eek2:
Erm or it could just be a normal couple who are so mad about each other they just can't stop kissing/hugging etc! It's called passion. Obviously you have to cool it a little bit, not everyone wants to see it but sometimes you can't help yourself either when you have a gorgeous boyfriend right there!
I wish i had that, im envious of your passionate love now!! all i have is lukewarm love
do you speak to her often on the phone, or over texting or msn or a site like myspace? because its always easier to tell someone you like them when its not face to face. You will probably feel better and be proud of yourself if you do it face to face though!
Exactly. While I appreciate that people may not want to see it, there are times when it's difficult to keep yourselves to yourselves.
SG - would you say the same thing if you saw a couple hugging/kissing at a train station or airport?
What I'm referring to is couples who spend ages snogging away in public, groping each other's arses. I mean, seriously. If they're that keen on each other, maybe they should go back to the house, or maybe get a room in a hotel. In those places, there'd be far fewer limits for couples to show how much they like each other!
So I'd like to know what you're basing your opinion on ;p.
I'm totally against myspace, especially with stuff like this... can't just leave her a comment saying "i was wrong to let you go so easily and i want you back"? :no:
I just have to do this face to face, it's the only sensible way. Too bad i'm not sure when i'll have the opportunity to talk to her 1 on 1.
yeah myspace was a bad example. wow good luck, you're brave! Good luck for when you get to see her
btw, i don't think there's nothing brave about it, it's the only sensible way to go.
I'm not gonna go depressed about her or anything, but i don't think i'll be able to forgive myself if i let her slip away without at least trying to do something. She's the most "compatible" person i've ever met, let alone being with.
See, there is your problem right there in bold. Fuck the casualness. If you want to carry on being with this girl then tell her that you want her to be your girlfriend, that you don't want her to be with anyone else. Dont be so apathetic and "relaxed". Just be a man, and say you want her to go out with YOU. If she says no, then you know to move on. But, given your description, she probably won't.
aw she will be lucky to have you thats really sweet
This is actually a really good idea. I think i'm gonna apply the "fuck the casualness" approach tomorrow. wish me luck
Whatever happens, i can't let her go knowing i didn't try everything i could...