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i dont even feel like he has to tell me although i guess im lucky in the fact that he always does, and pretends he was dragged (yeh rite!;) ). and he always makes out that theyre all mingers and not a patch on me!
i think if he came home and started going on about how these girls were fit, and had huge boobs (i dont:grump: ) then i would be a tad upset but at the end of the day he never came onto a girl with the purpose of taking her home or exchanging numbers.
and i cant honestly say that if on a girls night out one of my mates suggested visiting a male strip club that id say no and go home!
Women get so pissed when men get controlling but its the same both ways. That statement right there screams controlling. He can do what he wants and theres no harm in this visual stimulation.
No, and it's not like he's died either.
What difference does your pregnancy make, other than with your own insecrity about your body image. Did you consider what he was feeling at the time, or don't his feelings matter?
I agree..my current boyfriend has been to a strip club before with his mates, and i think he got a "showing" or whatever, if i remember correctly..but it didn't really bother me, but him not telling her was v.wrong indeed, makes it seem like he is doing something wrong even if he feels he isnt.
What did that paragraph have to do with being controlled, In a relationship, you should have an equal understanding of what's acceptable and not. As for feelings, they are between the two of you, therefore should be discussed between the two of you, and how is having some stranger dancing (semi)naked around you, gonna make you feel any better in yourself? After all, these women are gonna dance around any Tom, DICK or Harry, If that means they are gonna get some cash out of you, So that surely can't be a confidence boost/turn-on?!
:rolleyes:
The problem is not with the man who goes to a strip club and looks at naked women, the problem is with the woman who gets all possessive and arsey about it because she is so insecure and paranoid that she thinks it means something.
Watching other women naked doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive, he just wants to see other naked women in an environment where he isn't cheating on you. He isn't going to pork the stripper, he's just there to look at her body.
If he wanted to cheat on you he'd find so many other places that were cheaper and more realistic- he's more likely to be boning that pretty blonde lass in accounts than a stripper at a strip joint.
It is visually stimulating to watch naked women- that's why men go to strip clubs, that's why men watch porn. I really don't see what the problem would be.
And yes, I would have no problem with the wife going to watch strippers, so long as it comes out of her spending money not mine.
Wouldn't you rather he went and got a dance at a strip club rather than trying to pick up some girl in a bar?
My ex-girlfriend didn't have a problem with me going to strip clubs. But, then she was a stripper herself and that is where I met her.. LOL.
Nothing, which is why "control" wasn't something I mentioned.
Exactly, equal, not you telling him what is acceptable. I do believe that he should take your feelings into consideration, I've never said otherwise, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't also consider his drives.
I don't think I said it was. i said it was about his getting enjoyment out of it, not a personal boost.
The people who has see this as a personal image issue seems to be the OP and to an extent you.
Again, read the words I wrote, don't interpret them
I never said that being pregnant isn't visually stimulating. It's certainly worked with my wife on all three occasions. But remember, it was you that brought up the issue of pregnancy as if it was yet another reason why the man should not visit a strip club. It's not relevant.
In truth, strip clubs in my honest opinion are harmless fun, however i think if your partner doesnt like you to go, you shouldnt go when you in a relationship with them. I can certainly see the flip side of me not liking my gf (if i had one now) going to see male strippers.
was good to hear other peoples opinions tho, and thank you to everyone for not being too judgemental.
Would you feel as upset if he went to a live art class where they paint nudes?, cos he'd probabaly get to see a whole lot more then in a strip club?
being "pregnant" was purely an example of another situation. :chin:
Those girls are either grossly misguided or majorly insecure. Possibly both.
It's a strip club not a brothel.
It's just like watching porn. If you're a girl and have problems with your guy watching porn, you should seriously step back and look at it rationally before shouting your mouth off.
:thumb:
:yippe: Was starting to worry whether there was any decent men left!
I think also a lot of women who say, they don't mind their partners going to strip-clubs, are probably more insecure than the one's who don't. Maybe they think they are not good enough?..
It is probably the main [irrational] fear, though. To be honest I don't think there's anything wrong or crazily possessive about feeling insecure about your man in a strip club, or even being against the idea. But I think it's a shame to start censoring your partner's social life, and isn't something I'd do myself.
My only real concern would be the money-wasting aspect, the most prolific, er, "gentleman's club" round here is expensive as all get out. If he wants to shove money in someone's knickers then I think they should be mine... and then I can spend it on a night out rubbing oil on a chippendale*
*obviously I mean wardrobe :thumb:
are you a complete doormat?
Banning someone from doing something they want to do is as wrong as completely ignoring someone who is very upset that you want to do that thing.
Why should a man not go to a strip club or watch porn simply because his gf doesn't want him to?
Why should a woman not go to a strip club or watch porn simply because her bf doesn't want her to?
The only thing I can see wrong with it is the money situation, but if you don't have joint finances or joint commitments, why shouldn't he spend some of his money on his fun?
so if a gf of yours started saying 'you can't do this, you can't do that' you'd just go with it?
grow a backbone!
i wouldn't have a problem with a bf going to a strip club but if they paid for a private dance i think it'd be different.