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What turns you off?
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
I've just had the most hilarious conversation with my boyfriend's sister on this subject and since I like to spread a little negativity wherever I go I thought I'd bring it up here (yeah for probably the millionth time, but what do I care?)
In no particular order...
Long/dirty fingernails
Legging it to the bathroom immediately after he's done - I'm not a big snuggler but you'd think it was battery acid rather than something of his own creation!
Condoms; particularly flavoured ones.
A gruesome cum face... though I can appreciate a truly hilarious one, always.
Pubic hair that smells of sweat, I'd lick your armpits if I was into that kind of thing.
Nipple twisting like they're trying to tune a radio, and also jabbing at the clit like they're trying to call a lift or practise their morse code. I've found lift-man and nipple-mauler often tend to be the same guy and I hate them. I'm sure they'd love it if I handled their equipment like it was a joystick and this was a particularly exciting game of pac-man (though, that said...)
Having sex in front of the mirror and realising that his eyes are on his own body. Well hello, Patrick Bateman
Overly-porn-esque behaviour including - but not limited to - calling me bitch, slut, whore and slapping my arse so hard it bruises. Yelling loudly about money/cum shots also comes under this category.
Similar to that is trying entirely too hard to pull off fancy manoeuvres that you know they've seen somewhere very unreliable. It's ok when it works out but most of the time it doesn't. I'm not awarding points for your choreography skills, especially when it just gets very quickly frustrating or is flat-out unpleasurable. EVEN WORSE when this fancy-pants stuff results in it slipping out and invariably going back up the wrong'un without any warning. Cheers, mate.
I have in the past suggested something that I thought would be fun for both of us only to be met with the response "it doesn't matter now, I've cum anyway". EXCUSE ME! It's all about you now, is it?
Being asked incessantly if you've orgasmed yet. Haveyouhaveyouhaveyou? Then when you answer in the negative they fall asleep anyway, yargh.
Men who insist on continuing giving you oral for fifty years despite begging them to just fuck you; I think I know better than you what's going to get me off... but there's no telling some chaps.
Saying "MAKE LOVE TO ME" when you're already in the throes of a good rodgering. I wonder what they thought was going on previously - a special cuddle, perhaps?
All their bodyweight on top of you. I'm small and you are a man, when I suggested suffocation I wanted it to be on a voluntary basis
But enough about my exes, what turns you ladies and gentlemen off?
In no particular order...
Long/dirty fingernails
Legging it to the bathroom immediately after he's done - I'm not a big snuggler but you'd think it was battery acid rather than something of his own creation!
Condoms; particularly flavoured ones.
A gruesome cum face... though I can appreciate a truly hilarious one, always.
Pubic hair that smells of sweat, I'd lick your armpits if I was into that kind of thing.
Nipple twisting like they're trying to tune a radio, and also jabbing at the clit like they're trying to call a lift or practise their morse code. I've found lift-man and nipple-mauler often tend to be the same guy and I hate them. I'm sure they'd love it if I handled their equipment like it was a joystick and this was a particularly exciting game of pac-man (though, that said...)
Having sex in front of the mirror and realising that his eyes are on his own body. Well hello, Patrick Bateman
Overly-porn-esque behaviour including - but not limited to - calling me bitch, slut, whore and slapping my arse so hard it bruises. Yelling loudly about money/cum shots also comes under this category.
Similar to that is trying entirely too hard to pull off fancy manoeuvres that you know they've seen somewhere very unreliable. It's ok when it works out but most of the time it doesn't. I'm not awarding points for your choreography skills, especially when it just gets very quickly frustrating or is flat-out unpleasurable. EVEN WORSE when this fancy-pants stuff results in it slipping out and invariably going back up the wrong'un without any warning. Cheers, mate.
I have in the past suggested something that I thought would be fun for both of us only to be met with the response "it doesn't matter now, I've cum anyway". EXCUSE ME! It's all about you now, is it?
Being asked incessantly if you've orgasmed yet. Haveyouhaveyouhaveyou? Then when you answer in the negative they fall asleep anyway, yargh.
Men who insist on continuing giving you oral for fifty years despite begging them to just fuck you; I think I know better than you what's going to get me off... but there's no telling some chaps.
Saying "MAKE LOVE TO ME" when you're already in the throes of a good rodgering. I wonder what they thought was going on previously - a special cuddle, perhaps?
All their bodyweight on top of you. I'm small and you are a man, when I suggested suffocation I wanted it to be on a voluntary basis
But enough about my exes, what turns you ladies and gentlemen off?
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Comments
Damn, I can't believe I missed that one off :razz:
Shave what, exactly?
Baby talk is also such a turn off!!! And when guys think they're in some sort of porno movie
that made me laugh!
Ermmmm..
Insisting on attention when you're just coming down from an orgasm. PEACE CHILD.
Ripping the duvet off you straight after. This is one fucked up sleepover..
Sucking nipples. Just..ouch.
Always undressing yourself. Never eachother.
Playing with the spermy condom after you've just had sex. Gross.
Wanting to change position too much during sex. This isn't the olympics.
Yes! Unless it's a striptease
condoms really turn me off
being fingered up the arse without permission annoys me a bit
fanny farts :S
seeing her smoke
lack of hygiene in her down below (particularly talking about smell here)
when she just lies on the bed like an object
her crying during sex
her mistaking my dinkle for a pump action shotgun
big pants (sorry bridget jones fans)
her not knowing what she wants and how
telling me she forgot to buy something during sex
her making me think about another woman while having sex with her
her not knowing what she is doing
Truth be told, all of the above can be overcome...but that ain't the name of the thread.
Has that happened to you before?
These are the things I like to talk about to fill the gaps now that I can't do anything fun.
Yeah, of course these things can be overcome or even ignored if you're a very tolerant and saintly person who doesn't ever take sex seriously and puts up with anything, but the point was to be as nitpicking and awkward as you can be (obviously that's a trait that only I have). I find this kind of talk a lot more interesting than turn on chatter where everyone says vanilla things like "I like to have my neck kissed" etc, but whatever
I later found out she was on some meds that were making her over-emotional at times. Forgot what they were.
Long hair. I can taste the vomit in my mouth already just thinking about it.
Whitey tighties
Pink
Too much/any gel/pomade/gunk/girly stuff in their hair.
In any particular place?
I'd any day take an overgrown forest of a pubic region over long nasty head hair.
Braided armpit hair is sexier.
doesn't give you an excuse for being grubby!!
And I totally uberly agree with bad breath.
Bad breath is horrendous, though I can cope with "morning after" breath usually. Bad personal hygiene covers a multitude of cardinal sins, really.
Morning breath doesn't count
Girls who complain about how dicks have to be big.
I've never experienced any of those people, but those people get me mad.
I'd also agree with sophia- people who think that any hair is minging.
Letting me do all the work irritates the hell out of me :yeees:
Yup.
Not being vocal enough and by that I don't mean moaning or groaning, I mean being vocal about what you like, what you don't like etc. Everyone is different and what may be a major turn-on for one person may send another dude straight to floppyville. So input (excuse the pun) is very important.
Amen to that.
Being vocal in the other way can be a good thing, too. Unless you have paper-thin walls and irritable flatmates :razz:
or a brother in the room next door