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what IS confidence and how can you gain it?
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
Any replies would be great
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Are you, by any chance, asking about how to be more confident dealing with women, or about confidence in a more general sense?
How can you show confidence when dealing with a girl?
I would say what do you talk about but I dont believe you can talk about anything.
its not exactly being yourself is it!
if you try and be someone you're not, the girl will pick up on it and more often than not it comes out as being quite sad tbh :yes:
for example if someone says "oh your shirt looks funny" as a joke and I say "I was thinking the same thing about your face" as a reply (in a jokey way)
or say "yeah It was all I could find"
like that?
Being spontaneous works best. Just say what you think is appropriate at the time.
But in general, I'd say try and be positive most of the time. Talk about what you have done rather than what you haven't. What you like rather than what you dislike. People who are constantly moaning, or appear fed up all the time don't tend to be that much fun to be around.
(just an example)
(I approach a girl)
me: what are you doing
girl: im waiting fot someone
me: well if Brad Pitt doesn't turn up Ill be over here....
Something like that would probably work quite well, on some people. The trick is that everyone is different - we all react differently. It - unfortunately - takes time and experience to build up the skills needed to interact with other people. You'll make more bad comments to start with but you'll soon learn the knack .
Basically, you just have to along with whatever feels right at the time. You can't sit at home and come up with lines that you think will be witty - you'll spend so long looking to use them that you'll end up forcing them out at the wrong time.
Just say things that would amuse yourself - if the other person enjoys it, then I guess you've found a pretty good place to start .
Don't be too disheartened when things go wrong, either. It happens to everyone, no matter how old they are or how 'experienced'. It is human to make mistakes, but it's wrong to not learn from them.
as long as its not a personal jab - everything is okay, but it's cruel to take the piss - its funny to make jokes about people as long as they know you respect / like them. Never take the piss - eg deflect a jibe with a personal remark, as that leads to trouble. People can't help the way they are, if you try and deflect a jibe the common mistake is to accidentally go for the gullet with a knee -jerk remark... that's a bad thing. I guess it's all about not being to precious about what people say at the end of the day - only your friends count... anybody who doesn't know you and takes the piss is asking for trouble.
Says my mate Gemma.
Some people could pull that off well, but most couldn't.
Instead of delivering a set piece, just make some idle conversation. Start off maybe with what's the time and then bitch amusingly about buses being late, something like that.
You don't need much confidence because you're not putting dignity on the line - and you can end up getting in their panties more easily than you might think.
you said panties....
just kidding
My biggest fear is that a girl (the pretty ones imperticular) would tell me to fuck off if I try to speak to them or look at me like "Why are YOU talking to someone like ME!?"
silly I know but....
"I figured it was about time you had a chance to sample a glowing conversation with someone who isn't up their own arse. I thought I might actually benefit you somewhat, but I now realise you are too shallow and insecure to realise the possible gains of using your mouth for a beautiful conversation, rather than sucking a different cock each night. Goodbye."
Still, Its just a thought that stops me dead in my tracks.
just out of curiosity...
how many people can go up to a girl to chat to them to get to know them?
do girls like being acknowledged (for instance being said hi to?)
oh an my favourite approaching thing, done as a joke of course, "of all the bars in all the town of all the world" - in a kevin and perry voice