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Yeah, you're probably right, she's not trying to play mind games, but at the same time, she shouldn't get annoyed when he doesn't do anything. She should either say she doesn't want anything so she doesn't look like she's coming on too strong and then be happy not to get anything, or sod it and say she likes being fussed over on valentines day.
If id said I didnt want anything, it would be because I didnt - ie at christmas, we both decided not to do presents.
I told him I wanted a valentines card though - I think men tend to think that if someone says they dont want something, then they dont.
I think for something like valentines day though, unless you REALLY know she doesnt want something, assume she probably does. Women do tend to do these mind games all the time. it doesnt mean theyre bad, it just means half the time the woman will be dsappointed, cos guys dont tend to be brilliant at deciphering them (in general, not in all cases obviously)
You want another mother not a girlfriend then, get a back bone!
Yeah its always a little difficult to work out what to do in this situation. I'm kind of seeing someone at the moment (i.e. we're shagging but not going out for dinner/ dates to the cinema) and she told me she didn't want anything for Valentines. I got her a card anyway so if she goes off on one for me not doing anything I can whip it out and impress her with my thoughtfulness and if she was telling the truth I don't look like a little love sick puppy.
Jon's V day motto: think ahead and be prepared
Excellent motto :thumb:
And telling them not to bother with buying presents will make this happen?
Drop hints yes but this girl was definately playing mind games.
when a low maintenance girl says it, what she means is: 'i think it's all a bit silly, and while i would appreciate any effort on your part, should you choose to make it, i would be equally happy with nowt at all'.
when a high maintenance girl says it, what she means is: 'of COURSE i believe in all this crap and i'm actually never going to forgive you for not buying me the biggest bouquet of flowers going and having it sent to my place of work/education so every bugger could see how loved i am. furthermore, should be stay together long-term, i will bring up this fateful day every time i wish to emotionally blackmail you into buying me something/doing something. you should be ashamed of yourself for even contemplating letting such an occasion pass without showering me with gifts, while i might get the shittest card in the shop for you and think that's ok.
for an easy life, i recommend either the low maintenance girls, or those who freely admit they like to be spoiled on v-day.
if your lady is the high-maintenance type, i recommend mind reading lessons.
I agree with others that she probably just didn't want to be presumptuous and probably didn't set out with the intention of playing mind games. She just probably didn't want to seem too demanding, 'specially if you haven't been together long. But you're not a mind reader, and it all sounds like a bit of a pain in the arse, to be honest. I'm sure you'll be in the dog house good and proper, too. :nervous:
And you believed her?
I cant be doing with all this say one thing but mean the opposite. ffs if people just be up front in the first place there would be no confusion!
Totally agreed here.
But back on topic...
I think it's people's defensiveness that causes them to lie, either that or she was dropping a hint.
surely it depends on the relationship and the people involved what the dynamics are?
Maybe you need to be a bit more of a man SG?
Erm ... you base that on what? Whose in charge of a relationship depends entirely on who likes who more. If that is equal then relationship is equal. If girl likes guy more than guy likes girl then guy is in charge.
Im one of the most laid back people I know, so the fact you manage to piss me off is something of an achievment I guess. Youre obviously well skilled in the art.
Yeah good point. At the end of the day no matter how much i like someone i'm not going to let someone take charge of my life/decisions. I suppose individula level of independence is important as well.
Renzo mate, she's been daft, if she says she doesn't want something, then doesn't get it, she needs to suck it up and deal with it. If she's going to muck you about, don't bother with her, it's a sign of immaturity.
crude - but you get the point!