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'Quiet' people
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I've always been a quiet person, but like people have said already, getting a job helped me come out of my shell more. My first proper job was in retail so I had to talk to people I didn't know everyday and be confident in what I was selling
Most of my past girlfriends have all been quite out-going until i met Catherine, who is quite quiet and shy until you get to know her, and she is the best things thats ever happened to me
I think most people are quiet in the company of people they don't know, then get a bit louder as they get to know people. I now make a conscious effort to talk to people I don't know if I'm in a group of friends' friends, for example, and preferably try to bring other people into the conversation. I find alcohol makes most people more sociable and more likely to let their 'real' personality come out without fear that they'll appear stupid.
I think it's largely genetic, since it's quite obvious to see in schools for example, that certain children take the lead and are more sociable. Of course the more you're left out, the more shy you end up becoming, I guess.
I don't find that i get annoyed with shy/quiet people, i know how hard it is from when i was younger. Sometimes though if someone is a lot quieter than me i find it hard if they don't even attempt to reply to questions or just say hello as then i end up feeling a numtpy and think ive upset them.
Shy people are quiet by their very nature, but quiet people are often not shy. This is why it can be so freakin annoying if you're quiet, but not shy, and people start to comment on it.
Special K - I've never been able to work out why people feel the need to make that comment - or what they gain from it - can anyone answer that question? Perhaps it's because they feel uncomfortable with the quietness? But it's not really a good way to start a conversation is it?
You can be happily getting on with your life and then someone tells you "oh you're a bit quiet" and you suddenly feel self-conscious about it when it may have never occured to you before. I agree with what's been said already that sometimes people who are quiet giving off an air of mystique, and actually being pretty interesting people if you give them a chance. They're usually good listeners too.
On the other hand, it's commonly believed that if you're shy, then you would actually benefit from breaking out of your shell a bit. Hell we've even got an article on it
I think I am more quiet in new situations and around new people, but with people I know I talk more and am more negaing and fun and louder.
kind of half and half I guess.
I'm half & half i guess too. Surrounded by friends i am the complete opposite of if i'm put in other situations.
that's a shame but I guess that's what happens when you pick someone only for their looks.... unless of course she was very talkative around you?
Perhaps her inability to talk was because she wasn't yet comfortable enough with your friends?
I'm not stuck up
Around people I dont know I dont say much. Nearly everybody at work thinks I'm mute
Unless you know me very well. (Or I'm on the internet
hi,
Just saw your post and thought i would reply, I am a confident 24yrd student and am a shy person and am quiet as well especially when meeting new people at first.
But I think over people make assumptions because of this i myself have found. Some people have responded by saying that i am arrogant,boring, that kind of thing and at times it can become annoying and frustrating.
Anyway see what you think....
jj1006
I dont mind loud people but TOO loud can sometimes get a little annoying and 'too much' over-powering.
I'm quiet. Well, I was quiet. I'm painfully quiet when I'm in a group of new people, especially when there's people I know around. I'm fine for one-to-one, but groups just freak me out.
I've found that now I've managed to come out of myself more at college and stuff, people notice when I go back to being quiet and how I used to be. I'm not *shy* as such, but I just don't really want to make a fool of myself. Particularly if I'm not 100% sure I know what I'm talking about.
I don't know if people see me as stuck up or not. I'm not rude, and I do join in conversation properly if I want to, or if I have something to say, but if I don't, I just tend to sit there and listen and keep myself to myself. I dunno. Does that look stuck up? Maybe...
I agree with this completely, I'm quiet but i dont cosnider myself to be shy. I consider shyness as being scared of talking to people. Im just naturally quiet and dont feel the need to fill every silence with chatter and talk for the sake of talking.
Exactly! It really gets to me more than anything else when people comment on it, its like saying to someone whos overweight, "oh you're a bit fat." Feels like people are judging you, but generally people can't change their personalities and I know I will always be quiet, and likewise, someone who is loud will always be loud.
Just wanted to get peoples opinions on whether they viewed 'quietness' as being a bad thing really and I guess a lot of people do which is a shame!
since ive got to uni ive got a bit better and i find it easier to make conversation and meet new people, but its still very hard!!
even when im around friends back home i dont talk much - but im better when its on a one to one basis rather than in a big group!!
i always feel like whatever i say sounds stupid! so even if i have a comment to make or want to say something i dont because i dont like the attention i get when i say it!!
im actually a lot better when it comes to girls rather than boys.. if a boy starts talking to me i blush beetroot and start to stammer and get all... bad!! i cant help it!! that probably explains why ive never had a proper boyfriend... i only ever meet boys when im pissed (when i talk more)
hmmm i wish i was loud
With people I don't know I'm not very good. I'm a bit shy, and I am quiet. I'm a lot better than I used to be, working in an office where everyone was a character really made me come out of my shell. But if I don't have anything to say I won't say anything, and I don't feel comfortable just butting into group conversations.
Being shy and being quiet are two different things. Most new people are shy deep down, but some people are better than others at hiding it. I've become a lot better at hiding shyness and fear because I've had jobs where you can't be shy and quiet- you can't be shy if you're in a prison dealing with a client, and you can't be quiet with office colleagues who are all very loud and outgoing.
I don't agree with this ... they aren't quiet by their nature as a lot of people really dont WANT to be quiet (and when they are being themselves are not quiet at all) ... it's just stupid inhibitions and whatever else that are preventing them from being themselves...
But otherwise I agree ... quiet / introverted ppl are often not shy.
Yeah everyone has different things they worry about ... but that still doesn't mean you are quiet by nature if you appear that way (because of the reasons you said)... If u worry then you clearly are wanting to talk etc but don't for one reason or another... when ure somewhere/with someone you can be comfortable with maybe you're less quiet? ... and prefer when u feel like that..
I'm quite often quiet because that's what I am. If I have nothing to say I don't say anything.
I am a bit shy, but not horrendously, not anymore. But I like doing quiet things. I like doing solitary things. Not always, but I don't agree that all quiet people are shy souls. I don't think I am especially.
When talking to people I don't speak much, I tend to not find something to say, or I might think "They know each other better than they know me or I know them, won't I be intruding if I was to say something?" and so I rarely get to know new ones. That's what I'm trying to fix.
When talking to people I know though I speak more, but not as much as others.
I guess I do come across as rude often... Today I went there and started talking to ones I know wll without saying "Hello" to others I know but not as well... Not sure why.
Yeah ... I was trying to put across that shy people's nature isn't necessarily being quiet, it is a different thing really...
But i do agree with you, read the rest of the post you quoted ;p