'Quiet' people

Former Member

I'm very shy, due to low self esteem. I often find it difficult to maintain a conversation with somebody, even a friend, because I can't think of anything to talk about. Things like talking to a stranger or making a phone call are really difficult for me, because I worry about silly things like 'What if I babble and make an arse of myself?' or 'What if the other person doesn't understand me?' (the latter is more common on the phone). To top it all off I have a very quiet voice, which often results in people not even noticing that I'm talking! :banghead:

Some of my friends have admitted that they thought I didn't like them at first, because I was so reluctant to talk. I also hate it when people comment that I'm quiet, because it embarrasses me and just makes me quieter. What am I supposed to say in reply to a remark like that? 'I know'?!

Former Member

Rapunzel wrote:

I also hate it when people comment that I'm quiet, because it embarrasses me and just makes me quieter. What am I supposed to say in reply to a remark like that? 'I know'?!

I know what you mean, people saying stuff like that doesn't help at all.

Former Member

i'm talkative with my friends but quiet when i'm out of my comfort zone, i.e. with new people whom i don't know... i'm scared of sounding stupid!
i'm comfortable with one on one, but groups scare me!
what i find annoying is people forgetting about you, even if you talked to them for a while, e.g. the next day someone will mention me to the person i just met and they will be like "i don't remember her" i get this alot. and i really hate it! :banghead:

Former Member

I don't think i am quiet but apprantly i am but not round friends. Sometimes i just feel like i really cant be arsed to talk to some people, especially if we havent got anything in common. Im not exactly over the top or anything but i hate some people who are like that, cant have a proper conversation with them sometimes.

Former Member

I'm not really shy but i when im at school or at a party or anything like that i dont realy like to talk. Most of the time id rather sit and watch everyone else then actually join in on the conversation. and most people dont think im stuck up just that im really quite

Former Member

Hi Kilia,

It's worth just keeping an eye on the dates of a thread. This one is over a year old. If you find a thread more than a few months out of date and want to talk about something similar then it's usually best to start a new thread.

Mind you it's obviously difficult to jump straight into starting a new thread about a problem, maybe start a thread to introduce yourself.

Oh and welcome to TheSite :wave:

Former Member

Im really really quiet but once i get to know people i do open up a bit, i think being quiet is quite good in a way because people are always wondering about you and it kind of makes them want to get to know you better

Former Member

I'm very quiet, but that's a lack of confidence/lack of self esteem thing. I only talk to people I know, & it takes me years to trust anyone. I was bullied from age 5-15 which does play a part, bullied for being quiet of all things! In school now, at 16, I get laughed at a hell of a lot, cos I'm quiet, like people will scream at me because they know I'll jump etc etc... I don't think I've ever met someone who hasn't mentioned how quiet I am. As for being perceieved as a snob, that's pretty accurate - a girl I knew (who was quite 'loud') tried to make a 'friendship' with me - for two years she shouted 'snob' at me, at every opportunity, because I was afraid, in a way, to talk to her.

Oops, thread a year old, oh well

Former Member

I'm okay with being quiet. Sometimes I can go a couple of days without actually speaking. I like to talk too though - but it's not usually a good idea as there's not much of a filter between my brain and my mouth - I have a tendency to say precisely what i'm thinking, which often annoys people.
I don't think being quiet is a bad thing. Maybe when you're young, yeah. In contrast, my dad spent most of his life being quiet, carefully contemplating exactly what he was going to say before he opened his mouth. That's why people respected him so much at work and valued his opinion - because they knew it would always be sensible, concise, well-constructed and useful. There's a lot to be said for only speaking when you need to, and thinking about what you say.

Former Member

Special_K wrote: »

Not sure if this is the right forum but didnt know which one to put it in so sorry if its the wrong one.

Anyway, my question: For those who dont consider themselves or are not considered to be quiet or shy, how do you percieve people who are? Do you not notice them as much as louder people? Do you find them boring/rude/weird? Have u had a relationship with soemone who is quiet and found it difficult?

Im asking because Ive always been a quiet person and lately people seem to be commenting on it...Im finding it quite offensive and im not sure whether i should be.

Thanks

I am a very, very quiet, and I would say I am the most patient and accepting person I know. I'm comfortable with myself and actually think I am a caring and nice person when people get to know me.
But some people think I'm weird or stupid, and as much as I tell myself not to let that get me down it sometimes does.
this issue has been on my mind lately because of some (not really nice) comments by friends.

**helen**

solangesand wrote: »

I am a very, very quiet, and I would say I am the most patient and accepting person I know. I'm comfortable with myself and actually think I am a caring and nice person when people get to know me.
But some people think I'm weird or stupid, and as much as I tell myself not to let that get me down it sometimes does.
this issue has been on my mind lately because of some (not really nice) comments by friends.

Hey, welcome to the boards. :wave:

This is a really old thread so it's best to start a new one if you'd like a discussion on this subject. I'll lock this one now.