'Quiet' people

Former Member

Not sure if this is the right forum but didnt know which one to put it in so sorry if its the wrong one.

Anyway, my question: For those who dont consider themselves or are not considered to be quiet or shy, how do you percieve people who are? Do you not notice them as much as louder people? Do you find them boring/rude/weird? Have u had a relationship with soemone who is quiet and found it difficult?

Im asking because Ive always been a quiet person and lately people seem to be commenting on it...Im finding it quite offensive and im not sure whether i should be.

Thanks

Former Member

shhhhhhhhh!

Former Member

'Quiet people' to me are those who rarely participate in conversations - only when spoken to. I never see them expressing themselves.

I rarely express myself. It's up to the individual. I see nothing wrong with quiet people - actually, I enjoy spending time with quiet people more than I do with 'loud?' people.

Former Member

My best mate is what most people would describe as quiet and i can whisper over 50 fields.

everyone says what a strange combenation we are but hes not quiet when hes with me just around people that he doesnt really know so im not sure its the same thing

Former Member

I'm very quiet and shy and keep to myself. In a communications class I took, the first day, the first 5 minutes we had to write down our first impression of everybody.

90% of the people said I looked bitchy and stuck up. The few other quiet people (except for that sad looking one) got the same answers.

Former Member

I can be really quiet and people are usually 'awwwh' or annoyed by it.

Former Member

I'm either really quite or really loud. I'm crap at small talk which probably means most people think i'm stuck up and offish; i also often don't see the point in talking I can quite happily spend the afternoon with some of my friends and hardly talk to them - its hard to expalin but another friend summed it up quite well when he said "i don't have uncomfortable silences" - why fill the gaps with a load of crap.

I'm also crap in meetings especially where there are loads of people who I don't know very well. I'm not at all bothered by public speaking though or having a tough one on one meeting with someone. As long as i'm totally confident about what there is to say then i'm happy to say it.

Former Member

Im very quiet person, but i still participate in conversations with my friends, its strangers i dont react well with for chatting and things, its why i have trouble meeting people and broadening my horizens.

Former Member

I'm apparently an introvert. I guess I listen and watch and only feel comfortable making a point or joining a conversation if I feel like I know the people I'm with well.

If you are shy I found getting a job where I had to meet people was a great way to build confidence. My saturday Job at 16 really made me come out of myself and have more confidence.

If people are commenting it might just be to try and draw tou in to the conversation a bit more.

Former Member

byny wrote:

I'm apparently an introvert. I guess I listen and watch and only feel comfortable making a point or joining a conversation if I feel like I know the people I'm with well.

If you are shy I found getting a job where I had to meet people was a great way to build confidence. My saturday Job at 16 really made me come out of myself and have more confidence.

If people are commenting it might just be to try and draw tou in to the conversation a bit more.

I'm like that, and getting a job is what built my confidence to how it is today. I'm not as quiet and shy as i used to be but i still am to an extent. I used to be so quiet i would hide away in teh corner and people would say " i completely forgot you were even here ". I only speak when comfortable also, otherwise, and still to this day i keep my mouth shut.

I found when i was unemplyed i lost a lot of my confidence and finding another job gave it back to me.

Personally, i'm quiet & shy mostly and i dont care what other people think, i'm beyond all that now.

Former Member

Another quiet person here

I find i get judged by it alot. Gets me down actually.

People constantly telling me to cheer up, or "let my hair down", or perk up a little.

Being a quiet person myself i find quiet people of the opposite sex more attractive than the loud. being quiet leaves something for the imagination.

Skive

My last serious girlfriend was very quiet.
She'd come out with my mates and their birds but she'd say fuck all. It wasn't that she was shy, she just didn't say or do much. Although she was stunning and a lovely girl, she was boring, and it pissed me off. In the end she had to jel.

Former Member

Nah not my type at all...I don't like really loud obnoxious girls either but I like a girl who's bubbly, loves having the craic, that you'll notice her presence in a room full of people, and someone who likes to go nuts.

Former Member

i get pretty quiet if i'm worried about making a good impression - i tend to stammer if i'm nervous. it kinda gives the opposite effect though - most people think i'm stuck up. even my bf's parents think i am - just because i'm polite and don't say much

i think the trick is, if you don't have much to say, or if you're nervous, keep quiet, but smile a lot.

Former Member

i'm pretty quiet, but i smile lots, so people tend not to assume i'm miserable.

i'm not really that shy though, anymore. if i have something to say, i'll say it. but sometimes i don't, and the kinds of people who must fill every silence sometimes don't understand that.

Former Member

When I was younger I was extremely shy and nervous around people. Even now I don't talk much when in a group, and find small talk to be extremely difficult.

I've been told that people have perceived me to be pretentious or arrogant. Which is completely the opposite... I'm shy, but people don't see that, they just see me not saying anything and automatically assume I'm purposely not speaking to them... I find it quite frustrating at times, because I really want to be perceived as being friendly, when usually it's the last thing people think I am, because I'm introverted.

Ilora x

Former Member

i'm quite shy but im not an introvert, which sort of sucks

Former Member

I think I'm quite quiet and unnoticable. Which pisses me off.

Although I can natter enough amongst my friends.

Former Member

When I'm with my mates in the pub for example, I'm perhaps the loudest most garish person... But stick me in a shopping centre, and I turn into a pathetic little mouse...

A lot of the time I'm out of my 'comfort zone' and become introverted, when I'm dying to be the extrovert I should be.

Ilora x

Former Member

Ilora-Danon wrote:

When I'm with my mates in the pub for example, I'm perhaps the loudest most garish person... But stick me in a shopping centre, and I turn into a pathetic little mouse...

A lot of the time I'm out of my 'comfort zone' and become introverted, when I'm dying to be the extrovert I should be.

Ilora x

Should be isn't the right term i don't think ;p

Former Member

theres a quiet girl in my french conversation class. i think she gets really nervous so she only speaks if she's made to. i feel a bit sorry for her. but i've spoken to her out of class and she's nice.

Former Member

Has anyone ever met a quiet & shy person who underneath, wasnt nice ? I've never heard of anyone being like that.

Former Member

EDN1 wrote:

Has anyone ever met a quiet & shy person who underneath, wasnt nice ? I've never heard of anyone being like that.

Me

Former Member

i just remembered this girl who i know who is almost mute! she never says hello and will only speak when spoken to. even when shes had a drink shes totally silent! it pisses me off actually. i think its kind of rude and annoying. she might be very shy or maybe she just doesn't have anything to say, i dont know.
i think that kind of quietness makes me suspicious, like shes planning to take over the world or something.

Bunnie

lipsy wrote:

i think that kind of quietness makes me suspicious, like shes planning to take over the world or something.

there was this lad when i was in first year, who was quiet and always sat on his own. i dont like seeing people alone so i tried to befriend him and he just wasnt very nice! i learnt my lesson and now dont force myself on anyone! but no not all quiet people are nice.

Former Member

I got told by someone (who I didn't know that well) that I'm far too quiet. Admittedly, it depends who I'm talking to and what type of mood I'm in - there are two people in particular who, when I'm with them I never shut up - unless I become nervous around one of them, which is quite common for me.

Former Member

I'm quiet and shy when I'm in the company of new people but as I get to know people I come out of my shell. I do tend to get my words tangled up even when I know a person. I always make sure I'm polite when I'm quiet I do smile a lot and I'm always polite.

Former Member

lea_uk wrote:

I do tend to get my words tangled up even when I know a person. I always make sure I'm polite when I'm quiet I do smile a lot and I'm always polite.

I do that too. I'm making a conscious effot to stop doing that because if it infuriates me like it does it must be worse for other people. I'm still quite shy though, more than i admit to myself, which is why im making more of an effort to get out it of again. I used to be scared to speak up for myself or open my mouth for fear of sounding stupid but i'm moving away from that now. Takes time though

Former Member

The only time 'quiet' people annoy me is when they come across as rude, eg - don't even say hello when you speak to them... Although it's fair enough to be quiet or shy, and I notice people like that every bit as much as I would a louder or more out going person. I think everyone can be a bit shy at times, no matter how confident they are, certain situations can make you be like that.

Former Member

I definitely say hello or answer when people ask questions but I do try to keep the answers as short as possible so I don't get tongue tied.

Former Member

Manners cost nothing, and take almost no effort so theres no excuse for being rude tbh. Shy & quiet people are that way for a reason. Personally i believe it was confidence.