If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Am I boring my partner to death?!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Urgh. I've got the most horrible feeling that I'm boring in bed.
My partner and I use the same position because I dont really like being on top and I'm too scared to try doggy style. I lied and told my boyfriend that I'd tried it and I didn't like it. I'm a sap. I know full well theres a kinky bitch inside me dying to get out, but I'm too nervous to try new things. I love wearing sexy underwear but at the same time I'm terrified that I look like a complete arse.
In a perfect world I'd look fucking sexy in a corset and suspenders and would try every position under the sun...but at the moment, I don't see that happening.
I think hes going to get bored of me and that terrifies me, as I know his ex-wife was an upforanything whore.
*sulks*
Help?
My partner and I use the same position because I dont really like being on top and I'm too scared to try doggy style. I lied and told my boyfriend that I'd tried it and I didn't like it. I'm a sap. I know full well theres a kinky bitch inside me dying to get out, but I'm too nervous to try new things. I love wearing sexy underwear but at the same time I'm terrified that I look like a complete arse.
In a perfect world I'd look fucking sexy in a corset and suspenders and would try every position under the sun...but at the moment, I don't see that happening.
I think hes going to get bored of me and that terrifies me, as I know his ex-wife was an upforanything whore.
*sulks*
Help?
0
Comments
But he's with you now... so you must be doing something right :yes:
you could try with the lights off to begin with, you'd be supprised how much easier things can be sometimes. I think worrying about it is making it much harder for you to do the things that you want, but any one in the same possition would worry!
So, try turning the lights off, and when you're playing around, get on top of him. Not neccisarly to have sex in that position, just to feel comfortable being on top of him while you're playing around.
Or purhaps try 69'ing, that's always good...
Then, if things feel right (or they do the next time - no need to rush ) try going for it with you on top of him.
This will probably make you that little bit more comfortable to try other things too! :thumb:
Hehe, true that. We usually turn the main light off and keep a small lamp on, although I love sex in the dark, I just think not being able to see eachother is sexy, just feeling is enough for me. Its mostly that I have a problem with my weight, Im not slim, and therefore panic about my rolls and my flab. Hence, not being able to dress up and stuff. Gah!
Fnar, Im sure
He owns handcuffs.....so I'm sure he wouldn't mind that. I'm tempted to use them. I showed him the nurses outfit on AnneSummers.com and he said it was a bit boring
Lol, it was one of my more sexually educated college mates. Sex crazed loony she is!
Hey, get her on dammit!
A likely story.
SuicideBlonde, everyone always witters on about how great being on top is, but not all women like it. You're not a freak for not liking it.
What position you have sex in isn't important, though it's nice to have a bit of variety.
Don't fret about your weight hon, he liked you enough to pick you up and he likes you enough to keep having sex with you. If he was bored he wouldn't have sex with you, and if he hated your weight he wouldn't have sex with you.
If you are a bigger girl you would look good in things such as a corset and suspenders, and if you have a good bust you'd look good in things like a nurse's uniform or a maid's outfit.
Talking about sex is a great sign of intimacy, have you talked about fantasies with your partner? Finding out what he likes, and talking about what you like and want to do, is the best way of getting better sex.
I'm going to take the plunge and pop into Anne Summers when I get paid to see if I can find anything. I know I've just got to let myself go I suppose.
I haven't really talked about it with him no. I find it hard to express how I feel. Letting my insecurities and deepest desires out in the open terrifies me. And writing an email about it seems so inpersonal. (is that actually a word or am I making it up?!). I'm just worried about having to live up to his ex who obviously did anything and everything.
No really! RLY! How else do you explain the terrible punctuation and lack of capitalization.
Malt Munk xxx
I would recommend moving slowly at a pace you are comfortable with - if you jump in head first with something to try to make him feel turned on then you might get so nervous you won't actually enjoy it - and where's the point in that?
Well I've got 2 weeks to brew up some sexy ideas as I'm going away this weekend and won't be getting him nekkid till the weekend after
Dressing up in a corset and suspenders does not = great sex if youre too nervous to do anything other than missionary. You need to relax and actually start enjoying it yourself before yu start wasting money on props like kinky outfits.
Whenever I dont feel confident, the best trick ive found is to just PRETEND I am confident. I dont just mean in sex, it can work for any situation, but I think itd work for sex too. Play act what you think youd do if you werent scared and that in itself gives confidence, especially when you realise that hes not gonna laugh or think worse of you, hes going to love it.
I know it must be hard to feel confident about yourself if youre comparing yourself to his ex all the time. Im wondering how you know exactly she was up for anything, because thats not the kind of thing he should have been mentioning to you. Its beside the point anyway because you are not a performer, trying to act, youve got to do it for yourself in order to have a satisfying sex life, now and in the future. Youre selling yourself short by just lying there in the missionary position.
I was awfully naughty and peeked at a letter he wrote to his ex after they broke up (the book fell on the floor and I decided not to close it. Im going to Hell, I know) and it mentioned about how he took pictures of her and they had 4 times a night sex (whereas he and I have had sex twice in one night...once). Plus she was a whore who cheated on him many a time so I can't imagine her being the shy retiring type.
Is pretending to be confident as easy as it sounds?
You also have to remember they were married, they had along time to get to the point of doing these things.
And the fact she cheated so much actually makes her out to be insecure and selfish - not great in bed.
Yes pretending to be confident is quite easy, especially if you have a couple of drinks beforehand
Try concentrating on enjoying sex yourself more than worrying about his pleasures, and TALK about your feelings, i'm sure he'll help relax you about your worries.
Why you scottish.
LMAO.
We've been together for about 6 months and I'm still not hugely confident. He used to tell me how much he fancied me and that I had something that drove him crazy, but hes stopped saying these things, but I dont want him to have to say them all the time, I should know this already. Bah, no matter how many times he tells me Im beautiful, I dont take any notice and still feel fat and digusting.
I enjoy sex with him, but as Ms Brite mentioned, I'm concentrating more on what hes thinking and not my personal enjoyment. I just need to learn how to let go I suppose. I'm gonna give this acting malarky a try. Its every so often I get really minxy and dominant, but not often enough really!
I also agree that chatting to him abou it could help
.matt
I know my partner is a bit chubbier than when I first met him, but I think he looks better for it. I dont feel that things like podgy bits, spots, imperfections make any difference whatsoever. To me sex is about being intimate and having fun with someone you love (or really like) and I certainly dont spend ANY time at all judging imperfections,especially when in the height of passion and I very much doubt many other people do either.
No not at all, hes got a bit of podge around his tummy, but other than that, hes not overweight but he isn't exactly buff either.
He hasn't given me any reason to think these things other than that he often points out gorgeous women in mens magazines. He says I dont need to lose weight and Im perfect the way I am, but I cant see how he can find these FHM girls so horny and then look at me and feel the same way. Ive been insecure about myself all my life, I've never been happy with my body and sex has always been an issue. Although, saying that, I'm more confident now than I ever had been, I actually let him see me in the light and don't hide under the covers, but at the same time, I care more about what he thinks than anyone else.
I've had this problem all my life, I think about things far too much and don't give myself time to relax.