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I cant beleive so many people sound quite prudish. Men look at books they look at porn so in all honesty they are being normal males who like to see a sexy girl. The time you need to worry is when in a nighclub when they are looking at females because they stand more chance of pulling these girls compared to lapdancers.
i think you're all overreacting here.
i can understand people getting a bit cross when their partner goes off and has a lap dance, but on my sliding scale of wrong doing, it's nowhere near cheating.
on my scale, lap dance would be 'sulk for 10 minutes' and cheating would be 'leave'.
If someone is completely secure and happy about their partner going and having lapdances, then there isnt a problem, but you cant say that she SHOULD be happy about it. I know I WOULDNT be happy about it, not because I think my husband is my property, but because I believe in fidelity. I dont want him to go and pay another woman to be sexual with him. If he wants to do that, then hes not the man for me.
i'd rather he told me in advance and yeah like kaff said for him to come home and tell me how great i am and how they didnt compare to me!
i think as long as he told me he was going then it'd be more ok, not ok but more ok.
oh and i dont think its cheating...not as if hes even gonna kiss her!
He aint sleeping with her, he is looking, which as i said any normal male does. You need to be more concerned about him looking in nightclubs/pubs etc because he stands more chance of pulling there. Lap Dancers are doing a job, they are paid to dance, be sexy and provocative. How many girls in clubs do exactly the same thing but dont get paid for it ? how many girls do you see at the pub wearing next to nothing with their G-string showing etc etc ?
Watching a lap dancer is not cheating, its when he starts to touch he has gone over the top and if my hubby did that he'd have sore goolies for a month
Look but dont touch, thats my motto.
Will be back later to discuss this further as im about to go out.
i also agree
Then I only have one comment for you which is you must be very insecure.
Cheating is when you kiss or have sex with someone else (in my book), looking is not.
yup he should definately tell you beforehand, because without trust what is the relationship?
but by the sounds of it even if he did want to go he wouldnt tell her anyway. The response given here was that if he did then that would be it, so the guy would probably do it behind her back anyway. (Thats if he was the type of guy who went to these places, not saying he does like).
oh i don't mean cinderella's boyfriend specifically, i just mean blokes in general should tell their other half that their going to look at a partially clothed woman gyrate in front of their face
yeah i agree with telling the partner, id expect my hubby to tell me. Id be annoyed if he didnt, having said that if he did want to go and see them he would have the balls to tell me. Cinderella said that would be it so thats why i used her as an example, but any male who feels that his partner would not allow them to go would do it behind their back.
You need trust and if she cant trust him then where does that leave the relationship ?
our conclusion is? man must tell woman beforehand, woman must accept and trust the man not to do anything funny :yes:?
Why would the trust be broken if a guy went to a strip club without telling you? If he wanks about other girls has he broken the trust rule? - Hes not telling you so how can you trust him!:rolleyes:
Mate did that with his gf. She ended up getting so much attention and she didn't mind. We were quite happy too.
I been about 4 and half times now to strip clubs. Its bit boring now and in many ways a big waste of money but I'd still go again with mates cos we have a laugh.
Thinking about it logically strip clubs are frustrating - Pay a bird to get naked and open her legs but you can't touch her! Sooner have a wank or save up and fuck a ho:p
Wasnt bothered at all.
We went in the Spearmint Rhino area at Max Power a few years ago, and since then have been to a few strip clubs together with mates.
Whats the problem? As long as the gf/wife doesnt get hurt by it all..
Having a wank or whatever over porn in my view is completely different, because the girls in the pictures/movies are just like distant fantasies, they're something on the screen and not real people. Going to a strip club is different because you can see the girl, she is right there two inches from your face, you can look into her eyes and examine every contour of her body without a camera/another person dictating what bits you see of her and what poses you see her in. She is real, she is there, just like any other person in the place is. So I make that distinction.
As I said, I'm not at all prudish or stuck up about these things and if it were a short term/more casual relationship I wouldn't be bothered. Perhaps if I went with my bf it'd be better as well.
I do think you said some really valid things there and i do agree with you on pretty much all of it.
As i said ive been to strip clubs with my fella, but he has never paid for a dance himself (had one bought for him) but that was a one off, most of the £200 went on booze judgng by the state he came home in!!! Hes never paid a dancer anything we just go for a drink and a giggle with a big group of friends. Something different to do. If he paid or went reguarly (especially without me) i would get hurt by it all eventually, im sure i would.
I think its more that id be upset because i know i cant compare to some of those dancers theyre stunning, wouldnt think he wanted them over me he always bugs me for dances, i know he loves me and thinks im beautiful even if i dont, its just more of a feeling not sexy enough in comparison, rather than im doing something wrong, or feeling that he didnt want me. I compare myself a lot. That would be my only problem.