committed men going to strip clubs

Former Member

for a friends birthday and paying for a lap dance.

right/wrong/cheating/not cheating

discuss please...

Former Member

Well if they tell their wives and girlfriends in advance then it's not cheating.

Former Member

what about when they tell them after?

when they've let a naked woman, no, when they've paid for a naked woman to stroke their head and their arms and their chests?

even if it was just because they didnt want to be the only one to not have one?

Former Member

I go to strip clubs with my mates on a semi-regular basis, but I would never tell the missus.

It's just not worth the earache. I'm not cheating, and I don't see the harm in it.

Of course it'd be fine for women to go and see the Chippendales or something :rolleyes:

Former Member

Well if they tell their wives and girlfriends in advance then it's not cheating.

Watching a bird get naked with ya mates for a laugh is no way cheating.. nor is having a private dance, slapping their arse or having rub them selfs in your face.

I think most woman exaggerate what's right and what's wrong.

Former Member

hmmm. I dunno. We went to a place a few weeks ago, and one of the lads with us had a long term girlfriend, yet stillwanted to try it, and if i remember, went for the more expensive, more intimate dance. I dont know if he told his girl friend at all, never mind saying he was going and was likely to have a dance before hand.

Its a long distance thing, and I think the girlfrind would have prefered this interaction than going out and pulling some random girl to get a fix when she wasnt around. Nit sure if that makes it right or just not-as-wrong though...

Former Member

i'd be much happier for mr. kaff to go to a strip club to be groped by a woman i know is just doing her job, and nothing more, than i would for him to hook up with another woman and have feelings for her.

it wouldn't be the happiest moment of my life, but i'd let him go.

of course, the sensible thing for him then to do is to come home from the strip club and tell me that none of the girls even compared to me, no matter how gorgeous they may have been.

:yes:

Former Member

Originally posted by Felix Da Housecat

I think most woman exaggerate what's right and what's wrong.

Correct.

Women want equal rights, but would anyone ever consider some random bint getting a stripper for her hen night as cheating? There's a slight difference, but it's the same principle.

Not meaning to sound sexist, but I hate it when women take the moral high ground, and start laying down the law. If a guy did that, then all her stupid Lambrini girly mates would be telling her to ditch him and all that shit.

Women aren't really bothered about it anyway, they just seem to take any opportunity to moan and be awkward.

Former Member

I'm a bit of a traditionalist so if i was comitted, then I would stay clear.

But in principle I don't see a problem as long as it was your mate your going for, not yourself. And its not much different from watching some of those explicit chick flicks that the missus would pobably be watching whilst you're out.

I just wouldn't do it myself.

Former Member

id be gutted if i found out my partner had paid for a lapdance. Its not quite sleeping with a prostitute, but its along those lines.
Theyre my personal feelings, but each relationship is different and has different boundaries. Im not saying what another person should do in that situation. I know id be freaked out by it and it would severely test the relationship, I have enough self esteem issues as it is.
As for chippendales or dreamboys, Ive never seen the appeal there either. My mate keeps wanting me to go, but I cant think of anything more embarrassing or seedy.

Former Member

I would tell my girlfriend before hand but she would not be very happy at all! As she is rather obsessive! But it wouldnt bother me really i wouldnt pay for any lapdances etc. Id just go to be there for my mate.

Former Member

Originally posted by kaffrin
i'd be much happier for mr. kaff to go to a strip club to be groped by a woman i know is just doing her job, and nothing more, than i would for him to hook up with another woman and have feelings for her.

it wouldn't be the happiest moment of my life, but i'd let him go.

of course, the sensible thing for him then to do is to come home from the strip club and tell me that none of the girls even compared to me, no matter how gorgeous they may have been.

:yes:

I agree.

My boyfriend has video porn on his phone, naked women all over his walls etc He hasnt been to a strip club yet but I think id be the same as Kaff.
Id feel a bit low inside and stuff but id get over it and it's not that big a deal.

Men think differently to women, we always have to think emotionally where as men are more physically minded.

Former Member

Re: committed men going to strip clubs

Originally posted by badabing
for a friends birthday and paying for a lap dance.

right/wrong/cheating/not cheating

discuss please...

I say not cheating because it's just a bit of fun and such to celebrate your friends birthday. Anyone can disagree with me, but think that it is not cheating at all, but just a day to celebrate your friends' birthday.

Former Member

Ive never been to one, but I dont see how going to a strip joint is any worse than looking at porn. Its not sex, its not even kissing, its just looking at a naked girl with your mates.

Its only a problem if hes always doing it.

Former Member

Originally posted by Kermit
Ive never been to one, but I dont see how going to a strip joint is any worse than looking at porn. Its not sex, its not even kissing, its just looking at a naked girl with your mates.

Its only a problem if hes always doing it.

I kind of agree with that. Id be pissed off but not gutted if it was a strip club. Its the paying for a full on lapdance that would get me.

Former Member

I'd be annoyed about the waste of money but basically if a bloke wants to drip gold all over a canny woman JUST for a dance then that's fine by me!

Former Member

It's not really cheating as such but I would be upset and hurt if my boyfriend paid for a lap dance. I would wonder why he couldn't get what he wanted from me and had to pay for it. A lot of the lap dancers I have seen are not very good looking anyway. I would be offended.

Former Member

I'd be very pissed off if my current boyfriend went to a strip club. As rainbow brite said, each relationship is different and I think if I wasn't in a serious relationship then I wouldn't really be bothered, but in my current relationship I would. In my view if you're in love with someone and have made a commitment to them, then actively going out and having a naked women dance right in your face and shove her tits and ass right at you is not a good thing, to say the least. Its fine if men want to do that kind of thing, but if thats the case then they should be single.

Theres also the fact that male and female strippers are treated completely differently, when you go to like a hen night and see a man stripping all the women are screaming and giggling, whereas at a strip club the men just sit there staring, lapping it all up and taking it really seriously like they're storing it all up for masturbation purposes later on. Lets face it, if women acted that way when they saw a man stripping then I'm sure their boyfriends would NOT be happy.

Former Member

Originally posted by almost_innocent
I'd be very pissed off if my current boyfriend went to a strip club. As rainbow brite said, each relationship is different and I think if I wasn't in a serious relationship then I wouldn't really be bothered, but in my current relationship I would. In my view if you're in love with someone and have made a commitment to them, then actively going out and having a naked women dance right in your face and shove her tits and ass right at you is not a good thing, to say the least. Its fine if men want to do that kind of thing, but if thats the case then they should be single.

Theres also the fact that male and female strippers are treated completely differently, when you go to like a hen night and see a man stripping all the women are screaming and giggling, whereas at a strip club the men just sit there staring, lapping it all up and taking it really seriously like they're storing it all up for masturbation purposes later on. Lets face it, if women acted that way when they saw a man stripping then I'm sure their boyfriends would NOT be happy.

Actually I might have changed my mind.....hmmm I cant decide now.

Former Member

Originally posted by byny
I'd be annoyed about the waste of money but basically if a bloke wants to drip gold all over a canny woman JUST for a dance then that's fine by me!

I kinda agree with this. I don't see the big appeal, but like Vinyl Vicky previously said, men are more physically minded. He would have to tell me though and he should only be going when its a stag night or mates birthday....not the regular saturday night out....that would annoy me. However, on the other hand, if your partner loves you that much why does he need to look at other women? So in a sense it is cheating but just mentally seeing as the chances are that they won't hook up with the stripper afterwards.

Former Member

Ask yourselves this. Would you be willing to do a lapdance, or do buy a pole to dance around, or something like that, for your partner in your own home? Whenever he wanted? If not, why should he not go somewhere where he can see this kind of thing. At least he is separating love from lust.

Former Member

Originally posted by almost_innocent

Theres also the fact that male and female strippers are treated completely differently, when you go to like a hen night and see a man stripping all the women are screaming and giggling

Women scream at anything. Every time you see highlights of a pop gig on TV there's masses of of the stupid bitches screaming so loud they can't actually hear the music. Or the other week when I was out and saw six armed robberies. The men stood there looking tough and taking it like, well... men, while the birds just cowered in a corner and shreiked. Nice plan, dumbasses, piss the guy with a gun off so much he's gonna bust a cap in yo' ass to shut you the fuck up!

Lets face it, if women acted that way when they saw a man stripping then I'm sure their boyfriends would NOT be happy.

I really, really wouldn't care.

Former Member

Originally posted by the doc horatio
Ask yourselves this. Would you be willing to do a lapdance, or do buy a pole to dance around, or something like that, for your partner in your own home? Whenever he wanted? If not, why should he not go somewhere where he can see this kind of thing. At least he is separating love from lust.

why seperate it, why not have both with your partner? I would do it for my boyf, fair enough not all the time but I would do it. I want my partner to be in lust and in love with me.

hhmmmm

Former Member

Originally posted by the doc horatio
Ask yourselves this. Would you be willing to do a lapdance, or do buy a pole to dance around, or something like that, for your partner in your own home? Whenever he wanted? If not, why should he not go somewhere where he can see this kind of thing. At least he is separating love from lust.

bollocks, its hardly a real need to see someone lapdance. Whether I would or not is beside the point. If someone doesnt get every single thing they want in a relationship, that is not an excuse to go and get it elsewhere without the partner even being aware of it. Its what an adult relationship is all about.
If the partner is fine about it then its all well and good, but if shes not OK about it, then he shouldnt go. If my partner was absolutely dead set against me doing something and had good reason, then I probably wouldnt do it. I expect the same consideration in return, otherwise whats the point of being in a relationship.

Former Member

Originally posted by rainbow brite
well i think that i would do it sometimes if he wanted me to, but even if i didnt want to, its not exactly a NEED for men to see lapdancers, so in an adult commited relationship, a man should take it into account what his partner feels about this sort of thing. If my partner was dead set against me doing something, then I would probably not do it. I expect the same in return.

:yes:

Former Member

Originally posted by rainbow brite
If my partner was absolutely dead set against me doing something and had good reason, then I probably wouldnt do it. I expect the same consideration in return, otherwise whats the point of being in a relationship.

I'd be the same... if they had good reason. In this case, there isn't good reason - it's not cheating.

Former Member

Originally posted by Kiezo
I'd be the same... if they had good reason. In this case, there isn't good reason - it's not cheating.

I wouldnt say it was cheating if the partner knew about it in advance, but if its done sneakily behind someones back. I wouldnt like it, Its the sort of thing that single men do, but people in commited relationships really shouldnt be doing.

Former Member

I suppose the whole point of this thread comes down to the fact that men spearate emotion from sex and women dont- generally, at least.

In my opinion it isnt cheating, no more than having a sly wank at a porn mag is. So what if shes naked, and gyrating around him- he cant touch, he cant get involved, so where exactly is the problem? All it is is looking at another girl with no clothes on, big deal. The only problems start if a man would always rather be watching a lap dance than being with his girlfriend, the occasional gander at a bit of naked flesh never did anybody any harm.

Though if a partner is dead set against the other doing somnething, and the other goes off and does it anyway, then that couple have problems. Then it comes down to respecting the other partner's wishes, and if there isn't respect in a relationship then it is doomed.

Though I do agree with Vinyl Vicky- when you see these strippers on the telly they, without fail, have faces like a sack of spanners.

Former Member

Originally posted by Kiezo
In this case, there isn't good reason - it's not cheating.

what do you mean 'in this case'?

I dont believe anyone can give a precise answer due to no one knowing the relationship between this hypothetical couple. I dont think you can go just on what happened, but rather who it happened too also. and the question was whether or not it was right, or wrong, as well as whether people would consider it cheating or not.

sorry if i've missed something, just from reading it it sounded like you know something i dont

Former Member

Originally posted by badabing
what do you mean 'in this case'?

In this case, as in the whole strip club thing, 'cause there isn't a good reason to object to it.

Former Member

Originally posted by almost_innocent
In my view if you're in love with someone and have made a commitment to them, then actively going out and having a naked women dance right in your face and shove her tits and ass right at you is not a good thing, to say the least. Its fine if men want to do that kind of thing, but if thats the case then they should be single.

I think if I was a girl, I'd be more worried if my bloke was going to a normal pub/club and potientially getting off with/making contact with loads of other girls. Not that it'd be much of a concern anyway.

At least you know he aint cheating on you, especially, seeing as there's a no touch policy, and no-one ever pulls in a strip club.

Women are very, very good at double standards.