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Just one last little whinge before I go (humour me
I know I should just get over it, but he spend 5 months telling me wasn't like that and that he's not that into sex that he'd just use someone like that - I mean on Weds we slept together and by Tursday evening he was saying he never wanted to see me again! On Friday I went to see him and he was happy to talk to me then by yesterday, he hated me again.
Is he sure I'm the only one that's unstable?!
Thats what happens in breakups
He sounds a bit of a nut job, yes youre right.
Two nutcases doesnt make a right.
Just stop contacting him, and stop worrying about what he thinks of you or what he calls you.
Its difficult but you need to distance yourself a LOT.
Youve had a 5 month relationship and now hes treating you like crap.
Yes its hard - other people have it worse.
I got dumped horribly after 9 years, other people get dumped after even longer and its only then you get to see someones true colours.
Just thank God he doesnt want to see you, because tbh, that would make it even harder.
I think he's treating you badly, don't get me wrong. But I find you infuriating and this is just based on your sporadic appearances on a messageboard. I can understand why he [and you] need the TIME and SPACE that everyone is recommending. I can empathise with having had a long-term relationship condensed into a matter of months, I'm in the same situation myself and it hasn't been a bed of roses by any stretch of the imagination. We've fallen out, I've had my second thoughts, it all seemed to take on some kind of hyperspeed, I'm pregnant at the moment too. But the main difference is that we both want the relationship. It's a pretty fundamental factor, and not something you have.
You need to be strong and have courage in your convictions now, and they need to be your own convictions as when we're down to brass tacks it is your life that is going to be effected the most... and, when it arrives, your child's. Put thoughts of fixing things up with Phil [and it would take a hell of a lot of Bostik to be honest] to the back of your mind and - as SCC said - get to know yourself and be completely candid about what you're doing, your motivation for doing it and... well, where you want to be in a year's time. Whatever decisions you make and no matter how alone you are when you're making them you WILL be alright. As you've noticed people on here find the whole situation almost enraging, but they never stop giving advice when it's really needed (almost like an addiction). You can always come here and get yelled at/have a shoulder to cry on.
Oh, and since they seem to be in order, congrats :thumb:
I don't believe for one second that you've deleted his numbers, and you do come across like a desperate, needy, attention-seeking psycopath. It's hardly a wonder his family think you're a nutjob- you are a nutjob. But so's he, which is why this whole saga is so fuckinig depressing. And bringing a child into this psycohpathic mess just makes me weep.
Having a child isn't going to make this better, its going to make things worse, and its high time you realised that. I don't think you should have an abortion you don't want (I'm pro-choice but I'd rather abortions didn't happen) but you need to be aware that it will be you and your child, and it's unlikely the father will stick around for long.
I think that was after my time at good old St. Bede's (either that or I just sodded off home - was it in a PSE session?). I left there a good 10-11 years ago now... Actually, I ran at a fair sprint after a couple of weeks in the 6th form.
Thanks to my SPUC-tastic parents, I have seen plenty of 'informative' (and of course, not in the least bit biased!) material over the years though... :rolleyes:
Church-heads do my nut. That's a different topic though...
I was shown it when I was 14, and again in the 6th form. Fucking Church nutjobs, it just made me more determined to be pro-choice. And not just because it pissed off the nobhead RE teacher (do you remember Paddy McPillock- utter cunt).
Oh I do indeed!
If I recall, I was the first student to drop the GCSE RE exam - a trend which many followed. I was in so much shit it was hilarious! Parents were dragged into it etc etc etc, but what are they going to do? Force me to do the exam? I think not! :no: Paddy was my RE teacher through all this - and yes, he was an utter cunt.
I recall clearly when he said "you should never have sex unless you are trying to procreate", and then went onto a rant about the evils of contraception. His sex life must've been amazing - I bet he didn't stick to his preachings.
Funny thing is, I was up in Bradford to see my mum a couple of weeks ago and went through the centre to get to and from the station... It seems there are plenty of teenagers up there who have been taking his advice on sexual behaviour
I think he probably did stick to his preachings, weird fucker. Given his reaction to Loaded I think he'd have exploded if he'd seen a real porno. Maybe that's an experiment we could conduct to get rid of the twat.
Funny thing is that the problem never seemed to be *quite* so bad when I was there (I did a brief stint in the 6th form... thinking about it, I may have been there a few months before I stomped out of the place)... It must've been though!
You could indeed be right about McKillop... He was always slightly unbalanced! His son Sean was always ok though... Hahahah. Funny thing is, if he'd have just got laid he may have chilled out a bit!
As SuzyCreamCheese said,you need to lose all contact with him, maybe focus on yourself?
Breakups are shit... But then I know it may not seem like it when you're hurting, but blessings can be found in the wierdest of places.
I can see why it seems like that, but (in my mind at least) it wasn't like that at all. He may have been liking the idea because he didn't want to wear condoms, to be honest - in fact seeing as the other day I told him he should use protection with his next girlfriends and he said "why should I?!" and that the next woman he "chooses" will be nearer his age so he doesn't have to worry about them getting pregnant, that probably is why he seemed so into having a baby. I asked him so many times if it was really what he wanted; if he wanted a baby with me, if he'd bring it up, if he could cope with the sleepless nights and financial difficulties, and he always said yes.
Even on Christmas Day (a week before we went on our 'break') he'd just got back in contact with the last ex that had his child and I was a bit emotional about it (as I'd just found out I was pregnant, but hadn't told him yet) and he said "you think I've got my family now so I won't want a baby with you, don't you? Don't worry, I still want a baby with you more than anything".
So in my mind I had no reason to think things would turn out like this. I know it was a naive way of thinking seeing as we'd only been together for 5 months, but he seemed so in love with me, had proposed (and kept saying "I'd marry you") and everything.
What's annoying me now, is the last time I spoke to him he said if all four mothers of his children claimed child support, he'd just stop working. Which kind of shows his mentality.
His family don't say anything about his attitude towards his kids, which baffles me - and the other day he even had the audacity to say that although he seems like he's not interested in the baby at the moment, he might change his mind when it's born. When I said I doubt I'd want him to see it if he's not interested now he just said "fair enough, you're the sole carer". His attitude sickens me.
FOUR?? What a fucking LOSER!!! What did you see in him???
seriously now, get your head out of the clouds girl
if that doesnt show you what a pig he is, i dont know what will!
he's got 4 kids ffs! and doesnt pay for any of them!!!!
i cant even believe you still make excuses for him after reading that
I just wish he and his family knew it!
why do u care about his family?
its not them who are convinced he wants them and it certainly isnt them carrying his child
forget him (in the boyfriend sense, not the father) and forget his family
neither are relevant
I care about his family and what they think, because of pride I guess.
They're thinking he's better off without me, don't know the full story and that he was sleeping with me all this time and saying he still had feelings when he didn't...they just see me as someone who was dumped a month ago, has had no 'encouragement' from him but can't let go.
I also can't believe they haven't once said something like "yes ok she's a psycho (or whatever), but you have a child on the way with her so you need to stay civil at some point, for the baby's sake".
Instead his mum is encouraging him never to contact me again!
so what makes you think that he's going be interested in this one? he's a knob and you need to get your head sorted and stop thinking like a 12 year old girl. Harsh but true - you're living in fairy tale.
Seriously. Grow Up. It's all over, The End, time to move on.
4 kids?
Is it something in the water around there or has nobody heard of the pill if he's unwilling (incapable?) of using a condom? :eek2:
Unbelievable - contraception is a two way thing. If he isn't willing to be responsible (fucking tool), then why aren't the other parties involved in sorting out their end?!
4 kids... Some guys are just unbelievable. Especially if they won't pay for their 'mistakes' (or whatever).
Absolutely shocking. I'm doing my best not to say 'common' as well. Oops, I just did.
ETA - Girly - if you're planning on keeping this baby, I'd forget any contact at all with this bloke. If he's already got 4 kids, doesn't pay for shit, why the hell do you want him in your life in any way?! His whole 'attitude' in that respect shouts of 'fuckwit'. Perhaps he gets off on getting girls pregnant? I don't know, but my god...
Last time I spoke to him (about an hour ago when he called to ask if I wanted him to bring something he has of mine over), he said csomething about his family seeing my true colours when the baby's born. I asked what he meant and he said something like "when you try and get me for money". I said I'm entitled to claim child support; he should want to pay for the kids he's created and he sees it as a bad thing. I bet he's guilted every one of his exes into not claiming CSA...
He said I could go ahead and claim but he'd just stop working. Obviously he won't but it amazes me that he said it. Well after how he's been acting recently, it doesn't.
Oh btw I totally agree that the women should have used protection too - but I wanted kids with him. Maybe he's pulled the same thing with the others too? I know he was married to one of them and really loved the second one (he wanted to move in with her...she wouldn't let him then she fucked off to ireland), but it doesn't change the fact that he seems like the sort to just say "ok then" if the mother of his child says she doesn't want him to see the baby. He should fight to see his kids, IMO.
"When you try get him for money". What a complete and utter arsehole.
G.