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Depressed young men: because they can't get laid?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Anecdotal and statistic evidence indicates depression and suicide in young men is higher than other groups.
Do you think it is because they don't have a partner to care for and are not in a relationship, along with all the affection that that brings?
Do you think it is because they don't have a partner to care for and are not in a relationship, along with all the affection that that brings?
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Definately.
I know the feeling, it isn't a happy one. Can be absolutely devastating and even lethal in extreme cases, esp. if you induce it. This is only in extreme cases though and a sane person wouldn't take a turn-down as a defeat and continue the chase!
was in a funny mood when I wrote this, sorry
Me neither. Has the OP got a link to these stats ?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Y-Descent-Men-Steve-Jones/dp/0316856150
What a shocking discovery
I live alone in my own placeand do experience loneliness.
Women seem to me as social creatures by default and enjoy the entry into all social situations without a hidden agenda.
"Please let me nail you, I'm feeling suicidal"
Saved that one for later..
I do think that men and women tend to get depressed for different reasons, and that is reflected by our different roles and expectations in society (yes they do still exist, no matter how PC you want to get about it). I would suggest that men are likely to get depressed because of a lack of a relationship, whereas women are likely to get depressed because their existing relationship is shite. I would have a guess that men who have never had any female attention by the time they reach 25 grossly outnumber women in the same (opposite) situation.
But I think far and away the overwhelming factor is that there is more pressure on men to succeed (from society, from women, and from themselves). For a start, women will tend to find a man more attractive if he is more successful (there's obviously other factors, but it is one of them). Successful in the professional sense, and in the social sense (i.e. having a nice girlfriend, or being able to almost take your pick of the girls in a club) both of which are set up that 90% of people fail. Despite the efforts of certain strands of femenism, I just don't think that that pressure exists for women. I mean how many women would feel like a failure if they earned less than their partner?
So I would say that actually it's women who are more likely to get depressed for social reasons, but I also think that women are far less likely to "fail" in this regard.
I was getting laid regularly with a girl who is now my wife, and I was still cutting myself every night and having to go through intensive psychiatric therapy.
no. not at all. i think thats what some depressed people blame it on. but nobody absolutly needs anther person to make them feel happy. - what a strained relationship that would be - an individual is perfectly capable no matter who they are of being happy themselves and feeling good about themselves in a way which is not dependant on anybody else. not having a partner might relate to feeling lonley but that is not the same thing as depression.
The suicide rate is, right now anyway, the lowest it has been for 30 years, and although you're right to say men are more likely than women to kill themselves (about 75% of suicides are men) - the majority of suicides of people I've known (through work or otherwise) tended to be driven by far more complicated and difficult situations than because someone couldn't get a girlfriend.
Certainly depression played a part - but the reality is depressed people aren't particularly pleasant to be around, especially during very low periods - and that is going to make it very hard for a relationship to survive - let alone for someone to start dating them. I'd think there's a strong case of chicken and egg about people not having relationships because they are depressed rather than the other way around.
And certainly one of the biggest causes of suicide are more serious mental health problems than the reactive depression you describe (which is to say depression cause by a particular life event or change) - clinical depression, bi-polar disorders and schizophrenia were highly evident in most people I knew who killed themselves when I worked in mental health.
But as the areas where suicides occur are also often poor and deprived, especially rural areas where much industry has died out, or occurs amongst highly stressed professions (I'm pretty certain that the highest professions for suicide were farmers followed by NHS dentists followed by social workers who specialised in child protection) - which would suggest that other enviromental factors have a big part to play.
Ultimately, I think this is a much more complex issue and to suggest that young men are killing themselves because they don't have a relationship is bizarre given the fact that many, many young men do have relationships.
The stats by the way are here -
http://www.statistics.gov.uk/statbase/Product.asp?vlnk=13618
Depression rates and anxiety disorders remain higher in women than men (with 11% percent of all women experiencing what the national statistics website terms - 'mixed anxiety and depressive disorder' - whereas men are shown at 6%)
As the conditions become more serious it tends to level out - which would suggest that lower level illness tends to be discussed more openly by women than men (or it's more evident given situations like post-natal depression where a problem will be noticed due to a higher level of medical involvement) - so it may ultimately be true that the level is the same, but it's pretty unlikely it's significantly higher in men.
Oh and by the way the highest rate of suicide is amongst 60 - 75 year olds - not young men, the concern was the increase in the suicide rate of young men - they have never been the most likely to kill themselves
( http://community.netdoktor.com/ccs/uk/depression/facts/whatis/article.jsp?articleIdent=uk.depression.facts.whatis.uk_depression_article_1892 )
look up seppuku and see what I mean.
also there are suicide groups in Japan, its real freaky.
I've always understood that the culture of repressing problems, trying to deal with situations on your own, incredible pressure to succeed, the devastating effects of economic downturn on salarymen with no idea of how to handle unemployment all played their part.
In addition it's worth noting that the high japanese rate occurs in mid-twenties to forties - not in teenagers or young men.
The top of the list for those interested btw is - (per 100,000 male/female - ranking based on male rates here)
1. Lithuania 74.3/13.9
2. Russian Federation 69.3/11.9
3. Belarus 63.3/10.3
4. Kazakhstan 50.2/8.8
5. Estonia 47.7/9.8
6. Ukraine 46.7/8.4
7. Latvia 45/9.7
8. Slovenia 45/12
9. Hungary 44.9/12
10. Sri Lanka 44.6/16.8
11. Japan 35.2/12.8
12. Finland 31.9/9.8
and us...
56. United Kingdom 10.8/3.1
( http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide_rates/en/index.html )
and here's the 2002 WHO suicide map
and the 2000 WHO breakdown of world suicide rates by age and gender
It was written over 100 years ago but I think it's still a really interesting thesis, because we in the west really value our freedom and individuality and tend to be suspicious of communities that have high levels of social control and authority; and yet maybe we actually need these things to bring us emotional stability and security, and without them are more prone to the kinds of mental illnesses that lead to suicide. An interesting thought, anyway.
I think religion does play an important part on preventing suicides though, but it's got more to do with the point sophia was making - that religious communities provide a social network of support for people, thus making them much more cohesioned and integrated.