She doesnt seem very interested in me anymore.

Former Member

If you were a hot attractive blonde girl there is absolutely NO guarantee that it'd be a different story.

This is very much about how you view yourself and how you come across. You need to have self respect, otherwise nobody will respect yourself. You need to have confidence in yourself, otherwise nobody will have confidence in you.

I've very much been going through something similar, I can talk to people and it usually starts out fine, but the follow up is very difficult for me. But it's not about how I look, it's about how others perceive me. I see people of all shapes and sizes, some very pretty as well as ugly mugs doing just fine. So it can't be how I look that does it.

I had friends that I thought were only there 'if u are happy or they have a problem', but that simplistic and ignorant view did get shattered when I started putting lots more energy into the friendship. I started contacting my friends more, said more what I wanted to do and suggested we do stuff as well as encourage each other to meet up. A girl I wasn't close to at all text me today to ask what's up! All because I gathered the guts to ask her to go with me to a Drum'n Base event the weekend before this that I had NO idea if she would like or not. But she said yes, and we had the time of our lives and met up two more times that weekend alone.

The fact you don't want to dump your gf while waiting for her to dump you does -to me- suggest that you do allow certain people to play mind games with you because you want their attention. It's not healthy for you and judging by your posts I'd say you need to start working on your self confidence and how you view yourself.
I used to think that saying 'no' and speaking my mind meant people would dislike me, but now that I am learning to do just that I am actually finding that they respect me more for it. Nobody likes doormats with no personality. That's been what's really bitter for me to swallow and I am still working on it and will be for a while longer.

It's bloody hard work, but it's so worth it. Every single step forward.

Former Member

Jaloux wrote:

If you were a hot attractive blonde girl there is absolutely NO guarantee that it'd be a different story.

This is very much about how you view yourself and how you come across. You need to have self respect, otherwise nobody will respect yourself. You need to have confidence in yourself, otherwise nobody will have confidence in you.

I've very much been going through something similar, I can talk to people and it usually starts out fine, but the follow up is very difficult for me. But it's not about how I look, it's about how others perceive me. I see people of all shapes and sizes, some very pretty as well as ugly mugs doing just fine. So it can't be how I look that does it.

I had friends that I thought were only there 'if u are happy or they have a problem', but that simplistic and ignorant view did get shattered when I started putting lots more energy into the friendship. I started contacting my friends more, said more what I wanted to do and suggested we do stuff as well as encourage each other to meet up. A girl I wasn't close to at all text me today to ask what's up! All because I gathered the guts to ask her to go with me to a Drum'n Base event the weekend before this that I had NO idea if she would like or not. But she said yes, and we had the time of our lives and met up two more times that weekend alone.

The fact you don't want to dump your gf while waiting for her to dump you does -to me- suggest that you do allow certain people to play mind games with you because you want their attention. It's not healthy for you and judging by your posts I'd say you need to start working on your self confidence and how you view yourself.
I used to think that saying 'no' and speaking my mind meant people would dislike me, but now that I am learning to do just that I am actually finding that they respect me more for it. Nobody likes doormats with no personality. That's been what's really bitter for me to swallow and I am still working on it and will be for a while longer.

It's bloody hard work, but it's so worth it. Every single step forward.

Very well said.