Going out with 'friends'

Former Member

If my boyfriend went out to the cinema alone with a girl, then it might make me feel uneasy but I wouldn't let it get the better of me because I trust him 100%.

Former Member

lea_uk wrote:

But you'd only get those emotions if you don't trust that person.

I don't think thats true, isn't jealousy kind of a sign of how much someone means to you? Its a fear they might choose someone else or leave you, and you can't bear it because you want them? Or a fear that they might hurt you, which is only possible because you have real feelings for them?

I think its impossible not to feel these feelings at some level if you really love someone.

As for trust, its something i find very hard to understand, none of us can ever know what another person will do as we all make up our own minds and make choices as things happen and althought we think we can predict what someone will do according to the kind of person we think they are...its all our own perceptions as we never REALLY know anyone.
I will make every decision in my life for myself, and although i should take other peoples feelings into consideration, i dont have to, and liek everyone else i have the ability to be as selfish as i want...whos to say i wont ever hurt someone? So how can anyone ever really trust me?
We all just live in hope everyone else will do the right thing, no one *knows* anything for sure.

Former Member

Museman wrote:

Short and simple. Girlfriend goes to cinema with male friend. Just the two of them. What do you reckon? There's the rational part of me which says if it was a female friend I wouldn't mind so why should this, but I doubt I'm alone in not liking it too much.

My bf wouldnt be happy if it was me. But then I wouldnt be happy if it was the other way round.

Former Member

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Former Member

id trust him and i know he trusts me because all summer i was coming bak up to uni for nights out / birthdays and staying at my best mates house who is male and i have known less time than my boyfriend.

Former Member

lea_uk wrote:

But you'd only get those emotions if you don't trust that person.

:yes:

It seems that Lea and Richeh share my view that if you worry about your girlfriend going out with other people, you've got some issues.

My girlfriend is on the other side of the world from me at the moment and will be for the best part of the next year. However, I don't feel paranoid. I miss her obviously, but who am I to say that she can't go out clubbing or on the piss or anything? I trust her completely as she does me. I really don't feel remotely jealous or paranoid. She's been with me for 2 years and I think if she'd wanted out or to go off and shag some other men or whatever, she'd have the decency to end it before doing so.