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sex on a first date.
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
Do you?
Dont you?
Have you?
Would you?
Would it make you respect someone less?
would it make you respect them more?
Is it a good way of screening out the crap shags before starting a relationship?
do you think of it differently according to gender, ie worse for women than for men, or vice versa.
Dont you?
Have you?
Would you?
Would it make you respect someone less?
would it make you respect them more?
Is it a good way of screening out the crap shags before starting a relationship?
do you think of it differently according to gender, ie worse for women than for men, or vice versa.
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Comments
I do, I have, I will.
It doesn't change how I think of somebody - i.e. respect them less...
Each to their own - people should do as they feel, male or female, and sod what other people think.
G.
Some of my male friends have said this too. They feel that if you are willing to give it up straight away your not worth it.... harsh but thats guys
My longest relationships were with guys who I made wait.
I used to until i grew up and learnt that people can just use you
I think you do respect people more if they wait and get to know somebody first because then your nt sleepin wiv just anybody!
Do people really think that sex is just something women give to men?
What if the woman really wants it as much as the man?
To be honest - I don't see either one night stands as somebody being used, if that's what they are both wanting... Simply put - if you don't want it, then don't do it! No chance of feeling "used" then.
I do find it amazing how many people do things that they regret. No point living in the past - just get on with it.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't...depends really on how much I think the guy may mean to me and if I want to date him or just have a bit of fun.
Yep have done on several occassions.
Possibly not again, but mainly because i got to the point a few years back where I had no self respect from having done it too often and don't want to go back down that line.
Nope I don't respect people less/more for it, everyone has their own views and ways of life and we should all respect each others whether we agree 100% or not.
It works for screening out crap shags, but can also give you emotional ties that perhaps aren't wanted.
Nop men and women are equal...there might be more a taboo on women doing it because over the ages women have kept quiet about sleeping around and not bragged to all their mates regarding it, so it's still less publically accepted for women to. but personally I don't see it as any different.
Yes I have. If i really fancy someone then im not going to drive myself mental waiting, when in actual fact im gagging for it.
Both of my long term relationships (3 years and 9 years) ive slept with on the first night.
Its also a good way of screening people.
I mean, imagine going out with someone for ages, really fancying them and dying to have sex, and then it being crap or they had a tiny winkie. Itd be so much harder to break it off.
Dont you?.....Nope
Have you?.....I did it once and wish I hadn't. It's my quirk. I can't separate love and sex.
Would you?....Never again
Would it make you respect someone less?....No, I would blame it on myself. I have had sex without the emotional attachment and with it. Having sex without the attachment, for me, is no better than masturbation.
would it make you respect them more?....No. I suspect the girl felt if she gave sex I would keep coming back and I was hers. She got very possessive afterwards and I felt like a heel. I felt like I used her.
Is it a good way of screening out the crap shags before starting a relationship?....Hell no! There is more to a person that spreading her legs....uh like, brains, personality, character, education, ability to carry on a conversation after the sex. I don't want to view a female as a piece of meat and I don't her to do the same to me. Sex, to me, is a "whole body" experience, not just the sex organs.
do you think of it differently according to gender, ie worse for women than for men, or vice versa....Don't know how women feel about it but I am looking forward to reading their responses. I don't know how a free and open sex life with many partners in the 15-30 year old period affects the psyche of a female being a wife and Mother in the future. As I have matured I tend to think about this more.
I agree with this. If it's acceptable to both parties then go at it. Should be no guilt on either side. Everyone is different. I abhor double standards. A girl is a person and should be respected the same if she is a guy. Often many girls don't understand that they should demand to be 50% of a relationship regardless if it's a one night stand or a long term relationship.
but i'm pretty fussy when it comes to men. i knock a lot back before i say yes to a guy who i think has a personality to match his looks.
i think rainbrowbrite raises a very important point when she said "Do people really think that sex is just something women give to men?"
Do you? Nope
Dont you? Isn't that just the negation of the above question
Have you? Nearly...with someone who was rather submission and we got "hot and heavy". The really embarrassing thing was, she forgot to mention she was on her period...Not a nice suprise!
Would you? In principle I can understand why lust would make it tempting but doesn't it say a lot about both the man/woman...i.e. a bit too easy (no offence - sorry). Also guys really do prefer the girls who are hard to get...
Would it make you respect someone less? It just makes them seem a little untrustworthy...How many other people have they done the same with?
would it make you respect them more? ...
Is it a good way of screening out the crap shags before starting a relationship? I've been thinking about that kind of stuff recently...Too many people jump into lustful relationships quickly. What's wrong with getting to know someone so that you end up with lovers who are also your best friends too...
you can say that someone is easy because they sleep with you so quickly..
welltake me for example..
im fussy and i can meet guys and i don't like how they look or act. so i wait for someone right to come along. when they do i tend to sleep with them quickly because i really like them and i know i will want to see them again and vice versa. and they do always want to see me again. maybe i just choose wisely, or maybe they have a mature attitude about sex.
also i don't see what i have to prove to anyone. its easy to get sex, im choosy about who i have it with... and thats that!
If you're a girl!
It's possible but I feel the chances are slimmer because you don't really know them. Okay, if only have short term relationships in mind then what does it matter when you chuck them 3 months later cause ...you realise their bad habits/past/views etc.
I can understand what you say, basically when you find someone (nearly) perfect you "go for it". To be honestly I am nearly as bad, sex maybe 2nd or 3rd date but I have wondered sometimes what was the rush...
I've not got to that stage with my gf yet and to be honest I couldn't care less what she's like in bed. All the better if it's good, but she's absolutely lovely and I wouldn't dream of ditching her for something as shallow as sexual performance.
Long term relationships are based primarily on friendship. That's what keeps things ticking over for months and years.
Thats all well and good but without sexual fulfillment on both sides relationships aren't all that happy long term. The attraction and want still has to be there. There's a guy in my office at work. I know he loves his wife, but in his own words, her sex drive isn't the same as his and he's quite happy to look else where for that fulfillment.
But what if someone's 'poor performance' is due to inexperience? Pretty much anyone can be a good lover if you communicate and learn what you like/don't like etc.
I see no reason why two people who are attracted to each other shouldn't be able to find fulfilment if they communicate properly.
But the longer you leave having sex with someone the more you fall in love and you risk again the problem with lower sex drives and frustration. And not everyone's willing to learn...you'll find that those who've had more experienced but bad lovers are particularly against learning....they think they know it all and don't need to be told or refuse to change the habbits of a lifetime.
I think you're describing something different, this is classic husband/wife getting bored of the "same" sex for years. Who knows maybe this particular people started their relationship based purely on lust? What I'm trying to imply is that primarily lustful relationships will fail if the physical attraction is not maintained...as there is nothing else supporting the relationship!
But whilst having a lustful relationship you can build that friendship. If the friendship is going to be able to be there it will be whether you wait for sex or whether you start out having lustful sex.
So the most important thing is sex, regardless of whether it leads to a successful relationship or not?
I don't want to appear like I have extremely opposing views to you. For example, I believe that it's unwise to "save yourself" (by refraining from sex) before marriage... You've got to try the goods before you buy them!
Nop I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that I don't believe it makes a difference on the relationship either way whether you wait before having sex or have sex on the first date. SO as long as the people having sex are happy enough to have a sexual relationship from day one then what does it matter?
Exactly, which people seem to forget sometimes.
When I go out with a guy and I fancy him, and the chance is there to sleep with him, then I would. I love sex just as much. So why not?
However I find, when I meet someone I can imagine having a good relationship with, I tend to wait it out a bit longer as I don't like to rush into it as much. Basically to see how much he really cares about me as well. And that it's not all about sex on this occassion. Don't know why do that though, cause those relationships end eventually anyways just like the rest. *shrugs*
My point is, I don't think it makes much difference when yas decide to have sex, whether it's on the first date, or 3 months later. If yas emotionally click, yas click. If not, move on.
Well hang on... There's this social rule that girls accept the guy for sex not the other way around. For instance it's impossible for a guy to guarantee he'll have sex with someone at a club BUT it's guaranteed that a girl could. Therefore, it's something a woman gives (permission) to a guy.
Think that's why I said, 'if the chance is there' (In other words, if he wanted to as well), then I would. I don't like the whole judging girls as whores just cause they choose to sleep on the first date if the guy wished to sleep with her as well.
"find out if their a good shag n finish with them if their not stay if they are"
Attitude
Its something that women are much more likely to say than men much more.
Obviously if they are arogant uncareing lovers then I can agree but if their a little: say slow to get in to it and get the feel of you perhaps a bit nervous then it does seem a bit shallow if you chuck them for it.
Is it not a bit like
"well Ill get a lift home with them and if theyve got a nice car Ill have sex with them, if theyve got an old banger or no car then theyve got no chance"
Personally I would consider finishing if it was a realy crap shag but only if they didnt want or try to change.
I can also see reasons, if someones boasting about how good they are then fails to live up to expectations.