Cocaine-brain_

Former Member

I got a coke problem and its screwing my life up, i always revert back to it. I dont know when to stop, some people take a line or two then thats it, i dont feel like i need it all the time and when im not on it i feel proud of myself and more myself and think i dont need that shit but after a few days i think ill have a little line and that is it.

Once i have one i cant stop, bed isnt in my head jsut more coke and it can last days, when i finally get sleep ill wake up thinking crud i did it again thats the last time. But it never is.

Witout going into detail its easily available for me and i dont really need the cash its someone close to me which can supply it amnd the enviroment im living in and around its not seen as shocking but i know its wrong.

Before now ive been trying to shut off and sleep overcome with guilt and self-dissapointment and regret seeing myself for who i am and thinking back on how ive acted and what people may off thought of me in certain moments.

Its lost me jobs, i dont make an effort of staying in touch with friends really.

I thought i had a way out recently when i hooked up with a girl i havent seen in years since we were little and we started chatting and chilling and i felp ashamed and embarresed of the habit and it stopped, for 6 days i felt great and proud, everytime im offered id refuse thinking what if she comes round or phones, i almost felt better than them and pittied their addiction as i know its a sickness.

Then one night she comes out with can i get hold off a line... One side off me thought wicked we can get high together e.t.c while the other side thought fuck, there goes my will power fuel for that then.

I wish i could fuck off somewhere for a few weeks and get my life in order which i seem to do in times of depression only to be met by a nice fat line shortly after....

Trouble is ive got it easy and even if people think im a coke head no one says it or expresses it when secretly i wish i hard some stern faced sgt calling me a maggot and drop and give me 20 you know...

Anywho, any advice woul fall on appreciate ears my friends

Former Member

Find a drug service

Former Member

seaweed wrote:

I got a coke problem and its screwing my life up, i always revert back to it. I dont know when to stop, some people take a line or two then thats it, i dont feel like i need it all the time and when im not on it i feel proud of myself and more myself and think i dont need that shit but after a few days i think ill have a little line and that is it.

Once i have one i cant stop, bed isnt in my head jsut more coke and it can last days, when i finally get sleep ill wake up thinking crud i did it again thats the last time. But it never is.

Witout going into detail its easily available for me and i dont really need the cash its someone close to me which can supply it amnd the enviroment im living in and around its not seen as shocking but i know its wrong.

Before now ive been trying to shut off and sleep overcome with guilt and self-dissapointment and regret seeing myself for who i am and thinking back on how ive acted and what people may off thought of me in certain moments.

Its lost me jobs, i dont make an effort of staying in touch with friends really.

I thought i had a way out recently when i hooked up with a girl i havent seen in years since we were little and we started chatting and chilling and i felp ashamed and embarresed of the habit and it stopped, for 6 days i felt great and proud, everytime im offered id refuse thinking what if she comes round or phones, i almost felt better than them and pittied their addiction as i know its a sickness.

Then one night she comes out with can i get hold off a line... One side off me thought wicked we can get high together e.t.c while the other side thought fuck, there goes my will power fuel for that then.

I wish i could fuck off somewhere for a few weeks and get my life in order which i seem to do in times of depression only to be met by a nice fat line shortly after....

Trouble is ive got it easy and even if people think im a coke head no one says it or expresses it when secretly i wish i hard some stern faced sgt calling me a maggot and drop and give me 20 you know...

Anywho, any advice woul fall on appreciate ears my friends

How often you doing it, how much? I've been doing coke on and off for a few years, never experienced any trouble with developing a habit...occasionally get a craving but the money & comedown is enough to keep most people on track i think...certainly is with me anyway.

If you smoke weed, you could use it as a substitute...if you enjoy the high then it could keep you pre-occupied and comfortable. I've heard stories of alcoholics starting to get chonged instead of pissed and managing to get off the booze...worth a go perhaps.

Former Member

I'd be very wary of swapping one addiction for another.

Former Member

Blagsta wrote:

I'd be very wary of swapping one addiction for another.

so true ...been there and done it but ...lsd has been used sucsessfully to treat alcoholism.

Former Member

Only in the context of expert psychotherapy. I wouldn't recommend it otherwise.

Former Member

Blagsta wrote:

Only in the context of expert psychotherapy. I wouldn't recommend it otherwise.

fairynuff.
i do know many people who have replaced one addiction for another ...from heroin to alcohol ...from heroin to food ...from food to exercise and on it goes.

Former Member

Blagsta wrote:

I'd be very wary of swapping one addiction for another.

it's not the ideal solution but would be an improvement. Better to be smoking weed every day than sniffing coke.

Former Member

morrocan roll wrote:

fairynuff.
i do know many people who have replaced one addiction for another ...from heroin to alcohol ...from heroin to food ...from food to exercise and on it goes.

That's happened to a mate of mine, he used to go raving loads, necking back all manor of things, now he's a serious fittness freak with special diets laid out for him and everything.


As for the problem, if you dont feel you can resist when there is temptation around then the radical solution is worth considering. Move and cut links with the people you can get it from cheaply now.

Jaded

Not really Spliffie. It still doesn't address the underlying problem, so its no better in that sense.

Jaded

bongbudda wrote:

As for the problem, if you dont feel you can resist when there is temptation around then the radical solution is worth considering. Move and cut links with the people you can get it from cheaply now.

That is exactly what my drugs professional said when I asked him last night. You sound like you have the willpower seaweed, and you know it won't be easy, but if you are serious it is worth considering. Think about the people around you who you could take into your confidence and ask for support, it will help immensely if you can speak to people about this.

Former Member

Gettiinng away? Thats not really an option for me cos i live there and i havent got no other options really, dont get me wrong all the people i know or spend time with are all people that i like, decent people no shirkers or wrong-uns, its not a scene from trainspotting im living but sometimes feels that way.

I cant remember a time, ... apart from the temporary break from it for a few days 3 week ago after meeting my friend i mentioned. but basically i only stop for a day or two before getting bang on it again chatting codshite all night.

FUCK MAN, its not addictive though thats the weird thing, ive never thought Shit i really NEED a line, its only when i have a line to begin then i cant get off it and want more and more.

But after sleep i never have a urge to take more but somehow always do as its around and toleratd.

I really appreciate you guys commenting back though and i mean that personally, not just a faceless internet reply thing its nice to hear peoples opinions about it. :-)


And spliffie, i see what your point i but i smoke one puff of skunk and im mashed out my head immobilised haha dont know how people can smoke it? weird innit, differant bodies and differant affects.

Ill give those websites a look soon, cheers... Im thinking that swapping adictions can maybe be a good way forward actually and im thinking about that? I know for a fact i would of quit if that girl was against it it was no problem at all with my attention on her, but now i really havent got no reason or people in my life i want to appear straight to so its hard, but thanks.. :thumb:

Former Member

your on a ledge ...
with a fine spider web ...
fastening your ankle to a stone.

YOU KNOW THERE IS A PROBLEM.

physical addiction and psycological addiction ...manifest themselves in different ways.

your sounding very much like an alcoholic.
one drink is one drink to many ...a thousand drinks are never enough.

Former Member

morrocan roll wrote:

your on a ledge ...
with a fine spider web ...
fastening your ankle to a stone.

YOU KNOW THERE IS A PROBLEM.

physical addiction and psycological addiction ...manifest themselves in different ways.

your sounding very much like an alcoholic.
one drink is one drink to many ...a thousand drinks are never enough.

You aint making much sense either, what with the mixup of cathphrases you wrote without actually having a worthwhile point.

I know what addiction is mate and how a body works and reacts, i know exactly how inside-out im not looking to be educated i was after any helpful advice to straighten my butt out..... You got any?

Other than that oxymoronic imagery isnt welcome here?

Thanks

Former Member

seaweed wrote:

Thanks

anytime mate ...glad to be of service.

Former Member

seaweed wrote:

I cant remember a time, ...
FUCK MAN, its not addictive though thats the weird thing, ive never thought Shit i really NEED a line, its only when i have a line to begin then i cant get off it and want more and more.

But after sleep i never have a urge to take more but somehow always do as its around and toleratd.


:

hence my observations about the similarity between your situation and that of an alcoholic.
complete with denial ...FUCK MAN, its not addictive though thats the weird thing

'Im thinking that swapping adictions can maybe be a good way forward actually and im thinking about that?
so your quite happy to continue being an addict but not to coke?
you say i don't make much sense!
why swap an addiction to something you love ...for an addiction you yet know sod all about?

Former Member

morrocan roll wrote:

hence my observations about the similarity between your situation and that of an alcoholic.
complete with denial

what is the comparison then?
Thats right, your must of been observing my denial from that post i made up called Cocaine-brain_ maybe you sussed me out from the opening line man i swear i covered it up when i opened with
I got a coke problem and its screwing my life up, i always revert back to it.

Fuck it anyways i aint here to be sarcastic and grill people but i didnt see the worth of you writing what you did mate, ive browsed a few topics and if i feel i got something helpfull to say ill say it, otherwise not.

im being honest here and im right it isnt addictive itself and ive never felt drawn towards it when im straight, then i end up convincing myself ill be alrighthavinh a half a G and after that its fuckeries, i end up chasing the initial buzz but uyou never catch up to it and the come down doesnt really exist, sometimes i feel crappy, sometimes depressed slightly maybe, obviously its associated but its also associated with the fact of being up for three days in general and worn-out.

Cant know if youve tried drugs at some point in your life so maybe you cant relate but its not addictive chemically as i think its purely dose dependant (for me it is), if i wake up, no worries i could go on forever without it, this how i mean and its not an issue. SO it is when im on it granted, but its not an addictyion wheras i wake up thinking of it or wanting it really, most of the time i wake up happy im off it and heres to another go at staying away.... :banghead:

morrocan roll wrote:

so your quite happy to continue being an addict but not to coke?

Yeah, and i dont mean smoking crack mate, im thinking out side the box away from drugs, sex is a good one, see theres a healthy swap, that nearly worked when i wanted to make a impression and if she was anti-coke i know ill be clean now, but its worse, she does it with me... Oh well

Maybe its lack of determination, think im suffering from an unsightly trait of "do it tomorrow" syndrome. i

morrocan roll wrote:

you say i don't make much sense!

I wasnt joking either, not to me you dont, lets just agree we must be operating on differant levels here.

And you got a little addiction yourself Mr 27,369 posts go outside and play.

Jaded

Wow there, calm down seaweed, Rolly was responding with advice as you asked for, so there is no need to get personal!!

Can I ask you a question - what exactly do you think addiction is?

Former Member

So cocaine isnt a problem for you until you have one line? You could go without it and it not be a problem? The problems only arise when you have that first line?

Then why do you have that first line?

Former Member

seaweed wrote:

what is the comparison then?
Thats right, your must of been observing my denial from that post i made up called Cocaine-brain_ maybe you sussed me out from the opening line man i swear i covered it up when i opened with
I got a coke problem and its screwing my life up, i always revert back to it.

Fuck it anyways i aint here to be sarcastic and grill people but i didnt see the worth of you writing what you did mate, ive browsed a few topics and if i feel i got something helpfull to say ill say it, otherwise not.

im being honest here and im right it isnt addictive itself and ive never felt drawn towards it when im straight, then i end up convincing myself ill be alrighthavinh a half a G and after that its fuckeries, i end up chasing the initial buzz but uyou never catch up to it and the come down doesnt really exist, sometimes i feel crappy, sometimes depressed slightly maybe, obviously its associated but its also associated with the fact of being up for three days in general and worn-out.

Cant know if youve tried drugs at some point in your life so maybe you cant relate but its not addictive chemically as i think its purely dose dependant (for me it is), if i wake up, no worries i could go on forever without it, this how i mean and its not an issue. SO it is when im on it granted, but its not an addictyion wheras i wake up thinking of it or wanting it really, most of the time i wake up happy im off it and heres to another go at staying away.... :banghead:



Yeah, and i dont mean smoking crack mate, im thinking out side the box away from drugs, sex is a good one, see theres a healthy swap, that nearly worked when i wanted to make a impression and if she was anti-coke i know ill be clean now, but its worse, she does it with me... Oh well

Maybe its lack of determination, think im suffering from an unsightly trait of "do it tomorrow" syndrome. i



I wasnt joking either, not to me you dont, lets just agree we must be operating on differant levels here.

And you got a little addiction yourself Mr 27,369 posts go outside and play.

ok!

i would suggest you re read this whole thread ...omly take a few minutes.

before you do ...do a google or whatever it is ...addiction ...denial ...obsession.

becoming a sex addict ...food addict ...risk addict ...(been there) ...

health addict fitness adict ...can all be as troublesome mentaly and financialy ...emotionaly ...physicaly.

biscuits or heroin ...if your seriosly addicted ...you only know pleasure ...and brief at that ...happiness doesn't come into addiction and the trouble with addiction is how fucking pleasant it is.

same as the next addiction ...somewhere ...pleasure became more important than happiness.

Former Member

...it's not just a river in Egypt...

Former Member

seaweed altho mr roll's way of sayin things may be um i dunno seeming out of place or whatever i cant think of the right phrase, but he does know what he's on about and jus think about what hes sayin. its all support here, people are jus pointin out that some of the stuff you described shows elements of addiction.

Former Member

Yeh ur right, sorry, suppose i was well out of hand thinking about it... :grump:


To answer bongbudda its because of where i live, i mean my actual residents you know.

I these have moments of clarity but realistivcally no cash to live anywhere wlse u know :crazyeyes

Jaded

I guess it depends on how badly someone wants to make a change in their life, if it is really important to you it is always possible to find a way.

Former Member

seaweed wrote:

And you got a little addiction yourself Mr 27,369 posts go outside and play.

let you into a little secret ... changed my mind.

Former Member

Ive been away from it since friday afternoon which is good for me :nervous:

One good thing is im unlikely to be able to get any for 2 weeks personally which is a blessing in disguise although i want some so i just got to be strong enough to turn the offers down which are sure to be soon...

Former Member

My piece of advice...get new friends, if thats where the source is coming from then you need to take a good look at who your mates are.

Former Member

J wrote:

Your weak tbh. I'd never done coke then suddenly took about 5 grams over the space of a few weeks yet I don't feel the need to ever take it again. I mean, I could I just don't have an addictive personality.

Shut up J

Former Member

J wrote:

Your weak tbh. I'd never done coke then suddenly took about 5 grams over the space of a few weeks yet I don't feel the need to ever take it again. I mean, I could I just don't have an addictive personality.

SW ...ignore his ignorance.
J has to be the weakest link going ...financialy mentaly and emotionaly ...one big mess.

Former Member

Your weak tbh. I'd never done coke then suddenly took about 5 grams over the space of a few weeks yet I don't feel the need to ever take it again. I mean, I could I just don't have an addictive personality.

SW ...ignore his ignorance.
J has to be the weakest link going ...financialy mentaly and emotionaly ...one big mess.

Hahaha thanks mate, and I wouldnt say im weak, admittedly that may be the case somewhat as in willpower. I just like having fun and being involved, when a group of pals are all on it i end up giving in cos i have a wicked time dont get me wrong.

is the coca plant illegal in it's natural God made state?

Not sure, i did visit costa rica before with grams costuing 6 odd quid.

Take the best coke youve had in england and your not even close, so pure and seemingly unaddictive, maybe thats the placebo of the high from the holiday anyways, but its pure and uncut, mayeb its a blessing in disguise the chain of payment from your dealer to his, to the international courier, to that supplier onto the farmer cultivating it hence the price will never fluctiate.

Former Member

seaweed wrote:

Hahaha thanks mate, and I wouldnt say im weak, admittedly that may be the case somewhat as in willpower. I just like having fun and being involved, .

most addicts i ever met in life are very far from being weak people. in fact usualy the opposite.
risk takers and adventurers ...explores ...people who like the edge.
the willpower bit is another matter.
in the two world wars ...alcoholics were often the bravest of men ...winning many medals.
a bit of mud and a few bullets weren't going to faze them guys!

one thing i would love to crack ...the secret of how to perform at the same level i did when i was an addict ...now that would be something.