someone explain to me

Former Member

Why would you break up with someone you loved, just because you hadn't been with anyone else? Why is experimentation more important than a secure loving relationship?

I don't get it at all.

Former Member

I've been talking about this with my bf recently. This is my first, proper, sexual relationship, and hes my first love, kiss, shag etc. He's had about 16 gfs before me but I'm still his first love and shag.
You get to this point where you're in the most amazing loving relationship that would kill you if it ended, or if he fell in love with another girl, but I know that I wouldn't be able to stay with him from now till I die, just because of curiousity.
I'd always be thinking - how would another person kiss me like? what would it feel like to be with someone else? could anyone anyone else love me this much.

On the flipside, I heard someone say this in another thread - curiousity killed the relationship. I suppose I'll have to sit on these thoughts and remain content with my amazing bey Brandon.

Former Member

Right, so curiosity is a good enough reason. Well thanks for clearing that up for me.

Former Member

I dont know, maybe you need to experience new things before you appreciate what you have.

Former Member

How very human.

Carry on though everyone, I'm sure that you'll continue to stun me.

Former Member

You been dumped for that reason or something?

Well obviously they want to shag other people.

Former Member

No, I haven't been dumped.

Former Member

I think people go through different phases all the time of wanting to be in a relationship and going out and experimenting. I guess it can be harder when one partner has experienced more than another. The other one may start to wonder what they have been missing out on. Agree can simply be because of curiosity or wanting to understand more about themselves maybe.

Former Member

I dont get this dumping for curiosity thing either, tbh

Former Member

yes, it'll be out of curiosity. you want to see if the grass is greener, you want to experience more of life before other commitments tie you down.

Former Member

I think it's just like having a diffrent personality type... some people just can't feel they can settle down if they havn't got enough experimentation out the way. Fair enough really. I don't think I would need to do that though personally, if I'm happy, I'm happy.

Former Member

People who dump people out of curiousity for relationships - no, FLINGS - with other people, need a kick up the arse. They never deserved the relationship in the first place.

Former Member

I couldn't honestly say. Perhaps people are just greedy and want to try every piece of the pie so to speak.

Former Member

Depends how long you have been together, if its been a while a part of you can begin to wonder what life is like with someone else. You might get into the trap where things become routine and you decide that you want a bit more fun.
People may wanna see if the grass is greener on the other side. Even though you love someone it doesnt mean that you aren't allowed to wonder what sex is like with another partner, some people are just curious..........sommat like that anyhow.

Former Member

part of the problem is people's lack of faith. fiend you have immense faith, so you can trust in one thing and not worry about what else there is. i think other people find that difficult.

Former Member

Perhaps petal, I guess I'm lucky in that sense. Personally, faith aside, I fail to understand how people can have basically everything they want, and throw it away because of curiosity.

Former Member

I don't think I would end my relationship for curiousity, im too happy and think if your happy then why end it!

Former Member

Rachael wrote:

You been dumped for that reason or something?

Well obviously they want to shag other people.

For the record, if I had been dumped, what a fucking heartless thing to say.

Former Member

I could see how someone would want to "experence" more than 1 partner before setteling down, althrough in its self thats not an excuse.

Maybe its more like the fear of commitment of "thats it for the rest of your life" and someone panics (especialy if there young under say 25 or 26)

I can relate to that but it is still harsh, a couple of times in the past with me its been the fear of being a professional middle class couple, but it finished for other reasons although that was a factor.

Former Member

Iknowyourmum wrote:

I could see how someone would want to "experence" more than 1 partner before setteling down, althrough in its self thats not an excuse.

Maybe its more like the fear of commitment of "thats it for the rest of your life" and someone panics (especialy if there young under say 25 or 26)

I can relate to that but it is still harsh, a couple of times in the past with me its been the fear of being a professional middle class couple, but it finished for other reasons although that was a factor.

yeah i kind of split up with my first proper boyfriend for a few reasons and curiosity was one of them....but i didnt feel that way during the whole of the relationship, just towards the end when i knew it wasnt going to last forever.

i think some people can be content with 1 thing and not knowing any different, and others need to experience more so they know that when they find something good, that its the best they can get....i suppose so they dont have any regrets.

Ah who knows, everyone is different anyway

Former Member

When things are going great in a relationship, you don't consider other people, but if you ever have a rough patch then its human nature to wonder if this is right, and whether the grass is indeed greener on the other side. I honestly think that anyone who hasn't is a liar.

There is the whole curiosity thing, how can you know something is the best when you've only seen one thing? I do wonder what it would have been like to have slept with more girls before meeting GWST, and I think it would have been better if I had. I've slept with two people, though, so I know there is no point losing what I have for a bit of someone else. I'm intrigued by the experience, but not enough to ever lose what I have "just to see".

If you've only ever known one person, and the things with them are a bit rough, it is human nature to look at the field and see lots of green grass, I think. Even if you've known loads its human nature to do that, but if you've only had one person you don't have anything to base your feelings against.

Former Member

queenmab_roo wrote:

part of the problem is people's lack of faith. fiend you have immense faith, so you can trust in one thing and not worry about what else there is. i think other people find that difficult.

I'd say that was spot on. It's not even necessarily about religious faith, just faith in humanity and in the people you love.