ask the site

Former Member

has anyone used ask the site i did and ive been waiting 6days for a reply.

Former Member

PM a Mod.

Former Member

i dint think i could because its anonimus isnt it

Former Member

Not anymore it's not.

PM a mod and ask them.

Former Member

Or you could just ask us.

Former Member

soz but who is a mod im sure i got onto a list before but i cant find it

Former Member

i was gonn at first but its very serious and my parents dont even kno yet and im not keen on telling everyone ive kept quiet 12yrs

Former Member

We Don't Know Who You Are?! What difference does it make?

Former Member

judi wrote:

soz but who is a mod im sure i got onto a list before but i cant find it

Their names are listed at the top of every section, but either DOM or JimV are your best bet.

And, as Fiend so rightly points out, we dont know who you are and we dont have a great deal of interest in finding out who you are either.

Former Member

ok when i was 8ish a boy the same age used to have sex with me and make me play with him if i backed away he would just keep on and on till i cooperated,it went on till my mum threw me out for being a bitch. all my life i have pushed this to the back of my mind, i ruind my whole life because of him i totaly flunked school did any drug was a alcoholic at school, cut myself overdosed 2 times. i never really knew why i did this in my life but now im old enough to ralise i fell like im that age again. so vunrable.
he also raped my younger sister when she was 13.
i found out a couple of weeks ago that he was abused by his uncle at the same time, i dont kno the details but the police are involved.
if hes gone to the police about his uncle surley he ralises what hes done to me and will say something.
i would rather go to the police myself than have them coming knocking at my door.
i am pregnant and need to deal with this the least stressfull way possible but i havent a clue what to do, i kno i need to start telling my parents but its difficult cos were not close after the way ive been with them.
i feel like his victim i remember the pain how people pushed me aside and ignored me, it makes me feel so sick. :crying:

Former Member

Its far from certain that he will mention anything that happened between you and him to the police.

And to be honest I think this is an issue that 'ask the site' isnt really able to deal with, you are much better off talking to those trained in this, the Samaritains for example are always willing to listen.

Or you could of course raise the issue with your GP and see if you can get treatment.

Former Member

i dont want to speak to someone over the phone, it just dunt feel rite i dont like my gp and i dont want to walk home after with a tear stained face i need to pluck up enough courage to speak to my parents i am a mother and would help my child if the same thing happend.
i dont need help ive delt with my probs by myself all my life ive been off drugs and alchohol for 5 yrs now, i suppose im scared that im going to be asked about it wen im not ready (the police) cos i wouldnt be able to hold myself together i dont even kno weather the police would do anything because theyl be no evidence unless he admits it

Former Member

what do you expect from us then exactly?

Former Member

u asked me to tell u, so i did!

Former Member

You can email the Samatains.

jo@samaritans.org

Former Member

No, seriously, what advice are you expecting here?

You have been told he is unlikely to incriminate himself if it can be avoided. You have clearly not dealt with your problems, we have given you suggestions of people to talk to. You can do whatever you like. Though I advise that you drop the text talk and learn english.

All we can do it tell you what we know, the rest is up to you.

Skive

Fiend_85 wrote:

what do you expect from us then exactly?

Nice attitude.

Former Member

Fiend_85 wrote:

No, seriously, what advice are you expecting here?

You have been told he is unlikely to incriminate himself if it can be avoided. You have clearly not dealt with your problems, we have given you suggestions of people to talk to. You can do whatever you like. Though I advise that you drop the text talk and learn english.

All we can do it tell you what we know, the rest is up to you.

A slightly friendly ear I think was what she was hoping for.

Former Member

i dont want to speak to someone about it, i need to go to the police its rape, and i need to do it in the least stressfull way possible. if i just walk into the police station id feel so small i just dont kno how to tell my parents. i want to tell them but cant find the rite time and its my mums bday on sat ive spoke to my sis and she says she doesnt want me to say owt about her, it would be easier if she came forward too.
i dont know how to tell the police i kno i have to because he raped my sis and would probably rape again.

Former Member

From my point of view I wouldnt be totally convinced the police would be able to do anything.

I presume, by the way you are talking that years have past, rape convictions are difficult as it is, yet alone after years and with no actual evidence.

If you are going to report it to the police see if your local force has a special rape team, then contact them and ask if you can come in and see them. This could all be done by email reasonably easily.

Former Member

thank you for sticking up for me bongbudda

Former Member

I don't mean to come across as harsh, though I realise it's reading that way. But it's difficult to advise when we don't know what you want us to tell you about.

Former Member

judi wrote:

thank you for sticking up for me bongbudda

Not a problem, though as I have said I wouldnt hold a great deal of hope for the police pressing charges or anything.

Former Member

wen i told you i was hoping for suggestions, as you would when you ask a friend for advice.
i dont kno what to do, i know that i should go to the police and tell my parents because it will answer alot of questions about my beaviour towards them (well towards everyone) but thats about it. writing im being me but talking im a different person i come across as gobby im not its just i feel more confident with a "mask" on. thats why i cant speak to my friends i dont want to be vunarable again.

Former Member

My suggestion was that you contact your local police and ask if there is a rape team, which there maybe. But as I have said I dont think they will be able to do a great deal.

And I have advised you to email the samaritains, which I think would be helpful.

Other than that I'm not sure how much help I can be.

Former Member

i couldnt find anything about a rape team on my police stations web site. i dont want to email someone then sit for days waiting for a reply can i go to citisens advice bueru about the rape team would they be able to find out for me do you think?

Former Member

I would have thought so. You know you can also talk to rape crisis http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/
http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/helplinenumbers.htm

Former Member

the thread i posted at 12 54 was in reply to feind 85 question. u are being helpful bongbudda thanksXx

Former Member

before i get in touch with them would you say its rape or abuse scince it wasnt all sex and went on for sometime im not sure what to call it

Former Member

In touch with who, CAB or Rape Crisis?

Former Member

im going to see cab and see if they can get me in touch with the rape thing
but im not sure weather its rape or abuse