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Ecstasy Hell.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been taking ecstasy on a regular basis for the past year. I started smoking weed when I was 13 and over the past three years have gradually tried other things.

I would just like people to know what I am going through now in the hope that maybe they will prevent it from happening to them.
I stopped taking E a month ago and since then I have been dog ill. I cannot go out of the house because I get severe panic attacks, I start to rush for no reason as if I have taken a bad pill. I cant eat properly and have lost 12pounds in weight in 2 weeks. I feel permanently sick and get headaches and earache every day. Trust me it is not a nice thing to go through.

If your thinking of trying it, its up to you, but one thing for sure is I will never be touching it again.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    poor dude. I never had a bad experience in 500+ pills. I've stopped now and only moke weed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don think it agrees with me I think Ill just stick to weed from now on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah... I never had n e thing like that or noticed n e thing like that...
    had nr a couple of thousand b4 I came off em...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive never had anything like that either and Ive had my fair share of pills in the past. I feel for u mate and I hope that things start to get a bit better in terms of your health.
    I no a couple of people who have had funny reactions to em though, weight loss and migranes etc. I think that it depend on u as a person. Every drug, be it legal or illegal, can effect everyone differently. It looks like u really got the short straw though, sorry to hear it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would just like to say thanx to everyone for your replies it is nice to have people to chat with who understand why you took the drugs in the first place and the buzz you get from them. My adopted mum that I live with just thinks I am a scumbag and dont deserve the time of day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    I would just like to say thanx to everyone for your replies it is nice to have people to chat with who understand why you took the drugs in the first place and the buzz you get from them. My adopted mum that I live with just thinks I am a scumbag and dont deserve the time of day.

    Thats just a typical reaction to it. My mum was the same but my dads a lot more liberal, although he dosent think drugs r a good idea. There is no point being all one way with drugs. They are so widely available now and so many poeple do them for the fun side, not nessecarilly to end up as an addict. If u dont look at both sides of the argument then u will end up ignorant really.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey spirit, have the symptons eased off now, u should be more or less detoxed now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They have yeah, thank god, I still get little rushing feelings every now and then though but there not as intense as what they were and I havent had a panic attack for a few days. I even took the dog out today, it was hard getting out of the door actually. For some reason I just dont wanna go out, sounds weird doesn't it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not at all, I know how u feel having been through several drug addictions myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I want go out but when it comes to it I start to fell really nervous and just cant get myself out of the door. I had no choice when I took the dog out because once he had his lead on and the door opened he dragged me out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I look ok to everyone and they keep telling me get over it now just come out but they dont seem to understand whats going on inside my head. I know it will go away altogether soon, the only one that understands is my mate tina who ahd a dodgy pill once and said she felt like i did for days afterwards. She gave them up with me and she is fine.
    A drugs counsellour is coming to see me this week, I dont know what to say to them!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, the obvious answer is that u were addicted to speed, u got all the classic symptons, weight loss, headaches, paranoi.
    Pills r usually 70%amphtimine(speed) so it's pretty easy to get hooked on speed from them.
    When I came off speed(3 years ago, after about 8 months on it) I was smoking a lot of pot and not going out much. It's difficult to explain how I got over it, think it was just waiting until it gets flushed out ur system, but I started smoking crack n heroin a couple of months after so dunno if I came off it completely. Unfortunately speed is 1 of the hardest drugs to come off. U'll probably have to sweat it out, seeing a drug councellor is a good idea, just for support thru the paranoi and depression...
    Good Luck
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How are you now spirit? Are you seeing a doctor or something to try and help you get off them? I have never tried drugs (only weed, alcohol and cigs) so I don't really know much about these kinds of things but what is so good about em?



    Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They take you to another world altogether. I started taking E when I was depressed because they made me feel really happy I just started to take them for everday use but it got to the point where I was takin 6 a night way too expensive. Im getting better, Im going to go and see my horse tomorrow and get some fresh air the back gardens getting boring now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    They take you to another world altogether. I started taking E when I was depressed because they made me feel really happy I just started to take them for everday use but it got to the point where I was takin 6 a night way too expensive. Im getting better, Im going to go and see my horse tomorrow and get some fresh air the back gardens getting boring now.

    Try and get out more! If you down, talk to me and I'll try and cheer you up <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;



    Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its easier said than done trust me. The drugs counsellour is coming to chat to me on tuesday.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    Its easier said than done trust me. The drugs counsellour is coming to chat to me on tuesday.

    Good luck and let me know how you get on!!!



    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im sure I'll speak to you b4 then!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    Im sure I'll speak to you b4 then!

    Hi spirit!
    How did it go with the counsellor?
    You don't seem to have much self esteem at all Spirit..
    That's a shame as you sound like such a bright caring kind of person.
    Have faith in yourself spirit as i think that you are one of these people who can do whatever they put their mind too, you just got to believe in yourself and not let other people pull you down and hold you back.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The counsellor hasnt been yet shes coming on the tuesday coming up, Ive chatted to her on the phone though and she sounds really nice.

    I promise I'll let everyone know how i got on.

    Ps. I have got tons of self esteem. What was it that made you say that you didnt think i had much?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So am i sad, cause i havent tried n e thing, including weed???
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    u gotta try weed once cos it opens up ur mind to other cultures.

    anyway, spirit, hows it been goin ,feelin any better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was talking to my mum b4 about the counsellor coming tomorrow and I was saying to her that I was starting to think that there was physically something wrong with me.
    The problems have eased off a lot but little things like the doorbell going when Im not expecting it get me really anxious and nervous. I've been sleeping for 12 hours minimum a day and am always tired. I'm gonna see what the woman says whos coming to see me tomorrow and take it from there. Im just starting to wonder if I'll ever feel normal again. I have always been so strong about things that have happened to me and I just think it has all caught up with me. Feeling the way I do has made me realise how much we seem to take forgranted those little things in life.
    My mum is being really supportive now and has said she wouldnt mind if I took six months of work altogether and just chilled out for a bit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    ...
    My mum is being really supportive now and has said she wouldnt mind if I took six months of work altogether and just chilled out for a bit.

    Sounds like a good idea to me: relax, spend time thinking about what you want to do and what's happened to you, sort out stuff and then carry on when you feel ready.

    Spending time not feeling under pressure and not having life giving you more to worry about is the best way to feel better. My fave way to relax is to go hiking in Snowdonia or somewhere like that, don't see anyone for hours apart from the odd farmer or sheep, and you don't even see them if you go a bit higher. Like it best when it's just meand my girlfriend, and that's not just because of sex <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    Sometimes people are just more hassle to have to deal with, it can be good to get away from society for a bit.

    P.S. Don't worry, your brain and body's probably just catching up with all the pain and hassle you've been through - can't be strong for ever without paying a price. You'll get through it all, good luck with the counsellor.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Phew!
    2day is tuesday and the counsellor came at 2 and has just gone now, she was so so so so nice i couldnt believe it. She was great she understood everything I was telling her about the way I feel and says she knows a few other people who have been through this too. She said I shouldnt worry about going out yet as she can see from what shes heard that I am slowly improving. She gave me some leaflets and chatted to me about he stuff I like doing and that so she could get to know me a bit first as well. She said that I shouldnt force myself to do anything i dont want to do as it will only make me feel worse. She gave me some breathing exercises to do when my chest goes tight which should help me a lot.

    We also arranged for someone she works with to come and give me some acupuncture which might help me to feel a bit more relaxed at times and shes looking into lots of other things that weve talked about that might help me.

    If anyone else is thinking about seeing a counsellor or needs some help I promise you it is great idea, I was shitting myself in the hour up to her coming and thought i was gonna pass out and be sick and was seriously thinking of telling my mum to ring and tell her not to come but I realised i was being irrational and im glad I didnt because it was great!!
    Thankyou everyone for wishing me luck I was thinking about you all when I wanted to ring them and tell them not to come and thought "you cant do that girl everyone at the site will think your a chicken as well as a slag after shagging everyone at that party last night" hehehe.

    I feel a sense of relief now though because i know im going in the right direction to sort my life out even though it will be hard as fuck!

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wicked m8!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah that's totally great Spirit!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just want to say to JB as well that your advice is exactly what Im doing, Im just gonna chill out now and go with the flow as they say.
    Having all this time to myself has given me a totally different outlook on things, on my life my friends and everything about my life basically. Im no one to preach about not taking drugs as I have had hundreds of pounds worth of them stuffed into my body one way or another, but being off them has made me think about when and why I was taking them in the first place, I wasnt using them for recreation like a lot of people I was using them to get through a day and I cant remember a time when Ive felt normal, but I just wanna say to anyone who wants to quit drugs honest to god it is so hard but i know in the long run im gonna feel better because of it and i know you will to. When im better i will have a whole new life to start altogether, my life just revolved around where was I gonna get my next load of money from for a weed or a pill or a bit off whizz. Its scary knowing Im not gonna be doing what Im used to anymore but I know its worth it in the long run to have a stable life and to wake up one day and feel good about life.
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Mega Poster Posts: 2,822
    hey spirit, thats good the meeting went well <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; in some other places you said how worried you were.. im glad it went well for you!

    and yeah, total slag at the party! lol, j/k!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's great news Spirit, I'm so glad you have a good counsellor <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Keep up the good work, you must be doing something right (& I'm assuming that the party was out of character???)

    j9
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