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acts of sluts
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
so what defines a slut??
i've had sex (all the way) with only 2 different men... and a total of 4 times
and neither of them have been my boyfriend..
one was my best friend (to whom i lost my virginity)
and the second one happened recently with a coworker...
this is a guy who i didn't even really know.. but it was amazing sex...
now i have never thought of myself as a promiscuous person... but now that i think about my sexual past.. i wonder if i am???
i've given head to a countless number of guys...
and i just had sex with a random coworker.. who i will be hanging out with tomorrow... or i guess today seeing as how it's 1am over here....
and i have a boyfriend... but we decided to keep an open relationship...
so am i a slut??
i honestly don't know..
but as i think upon my sexual history more and more... i feel more and more disappointed with myself...
and i have one more question.. but am too lazy to create a new topic...
why can't i reach an orgasm from another person??
no man as ever been able to make me orgasm... and just recently i had amazing sex for 4 hours.. but i still couldn't orgasm?? and i tried touching myself while having sex with him and it still didn't work.... any tips? or answers?
replies to both questions would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
i've had sex (all the way) with only 2 different men... and a total of 4 times
and neither of them have been my boyfriend..
one was my best friend (to whom i lost my virginity)
and the second one happened recently with a coworker...
this is a guy who i didn't even really know.. but it was amazing sex...
now i have never thought of myself as a promiscuous person... but now that i think about my sexual past.. i wonder if i am???
i've given head to a countless number of guys...
and i just had sex with a random coworker.. who i will be hanging out with tomorrow... or i guess today seeing as how it's 1am over here....
and i have a boyfriend... but we decided to keep an open relationship...
so am i a slut??
i honestly don't know..
but as i think upon my sexual history more and more... i feel more and more disappointed with myself...
and i have one more question.. but am too lazy to create a new topic...
why can't i reach an orgasm from another person??
no man as ever been able to make me orgasm... and just recently i had amazing sex for 4 hours.. but i still couldn't orgasm?? and i tried touching myself while having sex with him and it still didn't work.... any tips? or answers?
replies to both questions would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
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Comments
As for giving head to countless guys thats probably a few too many, but I wouldnt worry about it, Im suprised at this as actually Iv never had head off someone I havnt slept with.
As for the orgasm question, I'd suggest staying with one sexual partner and take things easy with him so you can work towards good sex where he can make you come. I mean it sounds to me like you're having sex a bit spontaneously and this isn't the best way to rackin' up the orgasms, especially only after 4 or so times.
the orgasm thing - could it be emotional?
I don't think anyone here can really answer that for you. Everyone has different ideas over what constitutes sluttism. To me, there is no such thing, and it makes me sad when people put themselves down by thinking that they are. Only you can really answer your question, but perhaps the answer depends on how you feel about yourself in general? At the end of it all, what's done is done, and if you are unhappy with your behaviour, then you have the power to change it
Never happend to me either. If you are that far to give a guy a blow job...why not go all the way?
I think you should enjoy your life and do what is right for you. I got pregnat when I was 18 and was married. So, I could never enjoy my life. You are still so young and all I can say is GET LAID when you can. Dont commit to one guy only you will always feel you missed something later. As soon as a women has several guys she is a slut if a guy has more women he becomes cool and everybody is looking up to him and become jeallous. Whats the difference. Just be careful who you sleep with or who you give a blow job to. ALWAYS use a condom, this is the age of HIV.
You're not hanging out with the right girls!
Seriously though, having sex with two blokes doesnt in of itself make you a slut. If you have lost count of the number you have given head to, well maybe you dont want to be doing it too often.
As for orgasming with men, just relax, a lot of women cant orgasm through penatrative sex, or at least find it hard. Is he playing with you, going down on you?
So true....RELAX...a friend of mine is married for over 5 years now and still, no orgasm. Dont concentrate on cuming, it does block your mind and probably keeps you from orgasm. Just enjoy it and you should orgasm.
Now....I am saying something opposite of what I said before...Once you find the right guy and you have been with him for a while, the both of you will get to know eachothers likes and dislikes what sex is concerned. Some women like to talk nasty or using toys or imagine him with another women or a 3 some or him calling you names pulling your hair so and so forth. This usually develops over time when you have trust in your partner.
i mean.. i wanted to wait for marriage.. and i lost it... and here i am with random acts of sex...
my views on sex are, and were always, that it should be meaningful.. not just to get some ass...
I did quite a lot of the blokes from my work. All mince, except one - my current lad. Awwwh.
no offence but he got sloppy 2nds, well more than that
Yeah we've argued about it in the past. But now he's left where I work and he's cool with it. But the fact of the matter is, he was equally as whorish as me. He had about 4 girls on the go once, where I had about 3. Fun tiiiiimes.
But funner now, since we're bringing such fabulous sex together.
I don't think thats bad. I've only ever had one boyfriend and have slept with more than one guy. Some people just aren't relationship type people. Sex doesn't have to involve a relationship. If you like it then why not do it, it's nobodys place to say whos a slut or what makes a person one. Sometimes a box is just a box, sometimes sex is just sex. It shouldn't be made such a big deal.
If a slut is a woman who is NOT afraid to show, appreciate and be aware of her sexuality, a woman who is comfortable in loving sex, a woman who appreciates being allowed to have the freedom to love sex....then hell, I'd sooner be a slut!! Wouldn't you?!
But I have been called a slut before even though I have only ever slept with one person (I have only ever properly kissed 3 people and had a sexual relationship with one of them) just because I had slept with someone when I just turned 15 and my friends didn't like the idea of it.
I do not think you are a slut at all. No one has an actual definition of 'slut' so I think your abit silly going round calling yourself one!! I'd say a 'slut' with someone who had slept with numerous people. I'd just say you are having fun, and don't let anyone stop you!
Is there a reason that you've not slept with your boyfriend honey?
Also - the orgasm thing, to be honest a lot of it will come (excuse the pun) down to you being possibly uncomfortable with letting yourself go with these "new" people. Being comfortable around people can take time... Simple as. At least you sound like you know what you like to get yourself off when you're by yourself - that's a good start as too many girls don't know what makes themselves tick, which makes it, in turn, harder for us guys!
I think perhaps you need to have more regular sex with one person (Boyfriend?!) so that this level of possibly trust and definitely comfort can be reached!
To me a fuck is just a fuck - I do think that people make too much of a big deal out of it. I've had 4 or 5 girlfriends that i've slept with, the rest have been casual flings or one night stands. Some bad, some good. Sod it though!!
G.
P.S. regarding the giving head thing - I think that's something that's quite common in the USA (from personal experience) compared to in the UK. No problems.
i haven't yet slept with my boyfriend because he's not anywhere near me at the moment.. and i won't be seeing him until christmas... and before he went away.. our relationship was still getting started.. so it was too early to have sex...
the first guy i ever slept with was my best friend... so i don't really get more comfortable than that.... but then again... i don't think he could hold it long enough...
and i have a question for you in return...
what makes a girl a "good lay" compared to a "bad lay"?? how do you determine whether the girl is good or bad at sex??
That's not an issue. You wanted to wait for marriage, and that's fine. It sounds very romantic to me. I fully agree that sex is something that should be meaningful, it's nice to know that someone else on these boards doesn't happen to be out to get it anywhere they go.
To be brutally honest, having love for her does.
One night stands are a great deal of fun, anyone who says they aren't hasn't been trying hard enough, but relationship sex beats it hands down every time.
Jeeez... That one is quite a tough question.
Kermit - I don't think you actually answered the question asked. Re-read it... She want's to know what makes a girl good or bad in bed. Sure, as you say relationship sex is the best but to be honest, I've been with women on either one night stands or had flings with and they've been far better in bed than some of my girlfriends. Basically love tends to be nothing to do with being a good lay.
To the question: This is actually really difficult to answer to be honest. Personally, a big part of it is down to enthusiasm, shagging somebody who just lies there is never great. Technique is obviously a bit factor though!
Honestly, it's just hard to say what actually defines a great shag.
Technique, enthusiasm... Experience... etc etc
G.
If you love someone the sex is more enjoyable.
If you have been with someone for years they know how to treat you, you know how to treat them, and the sex is better.
As for technique, it's really hard to say. Each man is different. Which is why relationship sex is better- you learn each other's bodies.
The lust in a one night stand makes it exciting, and exciting is what sex should be.
Some valid points, but again it's not the answer to the same question that was asked. I know you hate to admit when you've got something wrong...
Relationship sex is good. Agreed. That still doesn't make somebody good in bed though! Some people are just better at things than others - sex being one of these things! After several years of marriage etc it's quite possible that somebody can remain bad in bed when a random person can blow your mind straight away!
Sure, more time with one person and you DO learn what each other likes etc etc etc BUT that may (and generally will) not apply if you sleep with a different person!!! Different likes for different people etc etc etc
Again - this quote is not necessarily true! Sure, it will mean more due to the emotional bond but... Different horses for different courses. Sounds daft, but I honestly don't group sex and love as closely as many people would! I've had much more 'enjoyable' sex with people i've had flings with!
Again - the point stands that lbeing in love with somebody does not make somebody good in bed.
One point - have you not slept with only one person? The erstwhile GWST. Apologies if that seems a little personal - but if you've not had a one night stand or just a fling, then you don't have that experience to comment on! Kind of a Stargalaxy situation... Just less annoying
By the way - don't take any of these comments to heart (I know it'll be water off a ducks back), I don't want to end up with this dragging on.
One final time: loving somebody does not make somebody good in bed.
G.
I know.
But what I said was different techniques please different people;)
I could say what really gets me going, but it wouldn't get everyone going.
I've slept with more than one person, don't know where you got the impression that I hadn't.
1: A woman considered sexually promiscuous.
2: A woman prostitute.
3: A slovenly woman; a slattern.
Not my definition, but that of http://www.dictionary.com
OLD PROVERB: Sluts are good enough to make a sloven's porridge.
Don't be so sure of your stud status :rolleyes:
Don't sleep with anybody else until you are in a relationship that's going somewhere with them.
Just because you've had sex with men that didn't mean anything in the past, doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.
And after sex 4 times with 2 different people it's not surprising you haven't had an orgasm with them. It takes time to get to know each others bodies, to really know how to please each other and it's when you're like that you should be able to orgasm.
And know you're not a slut, you just did what you wanted to do.
I think that sluts are usually incredibly insecure women who sleep with different men frequently to try to make themselves feel attractive and loved.
Having sex, with whoever, because you truly want to do it for yourself and your pleasure, without feeling sleazy or dirty, does not make you a slut.
What me a stud?! I wish. I can count on my fingers the number of women I have had sex with in my life. And that's just on one hand. LOL. Did one or all fool me? Could be. It would be too bad if they did though. It's nice when women can get the full experience of sex and good communicaton can lead to that most often.
I guess the level of communication you had with them would show who was honest...