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Ive got no friends

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    have you tried a weekend hobby type thing. i know that its going to take a lot of effort on your part but it will be worth it in the end. what about volentering, doing somthing good for other people will probably make you feel better about yourself and give you confidence. What about a club like mountain bikeing aor go horse riding or do a marshal art anything where you are likely to interact with people. i understand that you have been let down / people have mot met your expectations in the past but letting that get you downand stop you trying in the future will only make you unhappy it wont spite the people that have upset you. Have you tried asking some people from work (i know you work on your own but you did mention that you bump into people) if they want to go out for a drink / organise a race night/ go clubbing. if you get knocked back dont let it dishearten you just pick yourself up and start again. Sooner or later somthing will work out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's hard to give any good advice, but the questions MR was asking are questions that you need to be asking yourself. And you need to ask them honestly, and be prepared for an honest answer from yourself.

    Loneliness is the worst feeling in the world, because one can never see any hope from it. If you want to PM me I'm often about, and I won't say I "understand" because I'm not you so I don't, but I suffer from similar things sometimes. This place isn't the real world, but it's a start, and real things can develop from here- my wife to be and my best man are from here, sad as it sounds.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mel-H
    Have you tried a weekend hobby? I know that it's going to take a lot of effort on your part, but it will be worth it in the end. What about volunteering, doing something good for other people will probably make you feel better about yourself and give you confidence. What about a club like mountain bikeing? Horse riding? Marshal arts? Anything where you are likely to interact with people.

    I know that your comments probably weren't meant for me, but they were helpful all the same. Weekend hobby? I'd like that. Beats spending Saturdays in my bedroom crying and Sundays just walking the dog and reading the very large newspapers. Volunteering? Everyone tells me that, maybe there's something in it. Mountain biking? I love this idea!
    I understand that people haven't met your expectations in the past. Letting that get you will only make you unhappy... have you tried asking some people ... if they want to go out for a drink / organise a race night/ go clubbing. if you get knocked back dont let it dishearten you just pick yourself up and start again.

    What bloody expectations? I'm getting thoroughly annoyed of people constantly commenting on this supposed idea that my expectations are somehow too high. Sadly, I don't have any friends to ask myself, so that's out of the window straight away. I know your advice wasn't meant for me, but thanks all the same.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i did voluntary work with riding for the disabled ...i loved it ...
    gave me a different perspective about a few things.
    this kind of work isn't a chore ...it's revealing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    to be blunt ..it doesn't sound like your willing to actualy put much effort in yourself but are expecting others to do it all.
    you first go through the small talk ...the occasional drink that means nothing at all ...you help someone out ...with words or time or even money ...dare i say.
    you give people your time ...you give people ...yourself. with no expectations or rules.
    that way ...people begin to get to know you ...understand you ...discover you care about people ...

    That makes a shit load of sense to me, you don't get nothing if you don't put something in.

    Lot of us have become lazy and selish, that's big reason why I have lost lot of my friends. Haven't made the time for them, haven't gone down the pub with them, haven't listen to them - In short, I've lost touch with the real world cos I'm a slacker when it comes to friends.

    And friendship is a fuckin hard cookie to crack, but if it does start to crack, its even harder to mend. But I think you should try again with your friends instead of trying to make new ones.

    Pick an old friend off your mob, one that you've know for ages and can remember alot of shit about them. Once you know what it is they really like, do something nice and treat them to it. (with you going along of course!) Maybe if you can, open up to them about how you feel and ask if you can go out with them more. One to One, it should be easier to talk etc.

    It may not be to you liking, pleading with your mates to let you back into the fold. But it might be eaiser then trying to make new friends.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by NeoNero
    Evening class is a nice idea...if i had anything i wanted to lear, i dont have the time nor the energy either, after work i just wana sit down and do stuff without pressure.

    Working in a bar is not an option, i like money...even if i have no one to spend it on/with.

    I dont want people i just chat to when i see them i want proper friends who call me and care and txt me and go out places with me.

    Its not easy making friends, you cant just walk up to someone in a club and say 'wana be my friend'.

    Even having a girl like me would cheer me up, but none of them do, they just tell me how great and wonderful i am and how badly treated i am by everyone then bugger off never to be seen again.

    Well kind of shit are you interested in? Change job or something, meet new people who have similar interests. My main thing is probably smoking weed/taking drugs which aligns me to various social groups, gives good opportunity to meet people etc.

    If you're really stuck then start again...move to london, go to uni...etc etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Ive got no friends

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  • KimonoKimono Posts: 201 Two little ducks
    You know, making a new social group through volunteering really isn't such a bad idea- in fact, it's fab. It's simple to get into, you instantly meet new people to chat to, gives you confidence and, as a bonus, will stand you apart from others on your cv. It can also be an eye-opening experience that helps you grow from within and makes you reflect on what you want in life.

    Do It - the best place to start!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what concerns me is that people ask for advice ...think about it ...decide it's good advice ...and then do nowt about it.
    is anyone going to follow any of this stuff up or what then?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    is anyone going to follow any of this stuff up or what then?

    Nope.

    Takes more guts than I've got.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit


    Takes more guts than I've got.
    i do understand that bit.
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