Marriige is it really worth it?

Former Member

now i know this sounds stupid but from what i've een in my short time on this crazy lanet (20 years and a bit) from what i can see some people should jsut not get maried and from what i've seen using my parents as an example marrige has jsut ruined them not jsut emotionally but financially also

another thing in my opinion i dont think i could ask someone to marry me if i loved them that much as i wouldnt want to hurt them if something happened to me is this just me being too cautious

discuss

ps. sorry one of things that jsut came to me that i had to say just ignore me

Former Member

yea, marrige, engagements, it all sucks. best just stay with somebody if you love them not needed to be binded to them. kind of forcing pressure. i hope to never get married. but ya never know, one day i might just say fuck it and not give a shit and fall into a deep depressing hole of marrige... though more than likely it will just be a foreigner using me for a green card and i will take pity on him.

Former Member

i love being married! i love being loved and being able to love ...with the comittment and the expense and all the ups and downs.

Former Member

Dunno, will do I reckon, not at this time I wouldn't but maybe next year, 5 years, 10 years, who knows? If I did then a prenuptial agreement would have to be made. something like she would only be allowed the gold fish or the cooker. Not microwave tho. Nooooooo. Mans best friend.

Former Member

fair play rolly i would "love" to be liek that as well just wouldnt want to take someone i loved too much down with me if something happened to me

Former Member

it's what you make of it. i come from a family of happy marriages, so naturally i have a great impression of it, and want to get married myself.

my parents will have been married 30 years next year, and my grandparents have been married 58 years and are still crazy about each other, despite the fact that my grandma is bordering on senile, and my grandad is losing control of his faculties. that's true love.

Former Member

All marriage means to me is a piece of paper.

Former Member

Originally posted by rossco
fair play rolly i would "love" to be liek that as well just wouldnt want to take someone i loved too much down with me if something happened to me

thats the pain and joy of life realy.
when you have been through the ups and downs ...especialy the downs ...and your STILL there for each other ...it's wonderful to be able to look back ...like reading a book of your lives and being able to give advice to your kids thats actualy based on something.

Former Member

Originally posted by Crispy
All marriage means to me is a piece of paper.

then my advice to you would be ...don't bother getting married.

Former Member

spose your right with what ou last said rolly just the marriges ive seen the marrige never lasts for people too look back at it

Former Member

to me marriage is a waste of time. my family has consisted of marriage failures
why do you need a contract to prove you love eachother??

Former Member

Originally posted by rossco
spose your right with what ou last said rolly just the marriges ive seen the marrige never lasts for people too look back at it

seen plenty like that myself ross ...if you don't believe in it don't do it.

Former Member

I see marriage as a nice side effect to a good relationship. It won't protect people from infidelity, boredom, heartbreak etc but I'd still like to do it one day

Former Member

Not meaning to hi-jack your thread but I have a question on marriage.

Can someone make you marry them?? (ive asked a few friends about this and of course they say no, you can't make someone marry you) But I'm still worried that it is possible. What if the person has your parents consent and everything? and you've told the person NO, time and time again, can they force you to marry them? Sorry this is a lame question but I just need a bit of reassurance that there's no way it's possible.

Former Member

i don't know much about the actual marrige process (thank you fuck) but don't you need like your own concent, like signing the papers and everything, if your name is forged its not real, and i can't really see somebody forcing you to sign over your life unless they have a knife to your throat or something. but hey, check out my past, obviously i know fuck all about it so i guess i'm not very helpful on that question.

Former Member

Originally posted by my_name
and i can't really see somebody forcing you to sign over your life unless they have a knife to your throat or something.

God no, nothing that serious. :no: I was just wondering, just for the sake of wondering.....

Former Member

Originally posted by J
if you meet someone who has the same outlook on life that you have

and opposites do attract ...me and my missus are like chalk and cheese in almost every aspect of our lives!
but it works for us ...keeps us on our toes ...teaches each other so many different things.
i couldn't hae married someone who liked the same music the same places the samey samey ...bit of spice.

Former Member

when nick and i first got together we were total opposites(sp?) but now we pretty much like the same things,still a lot different though,he has tought me things and vice versa,being with someone totally opposite is great for me

Former Member

marriage is not just a piece of paper tho, it's a piece of paper that gives you access to soooo many more rights than people who are co-habiting have. that's one of the reasons people want to legalise gay marriage, for the same rights.


(...yeah, a-level french did teach me some things...)

Former Member

hehe, nah you're not being totally dipsy at all!

the reason i know about the legal advantages of marriage versus cohabitation is because of a project we did in french a-level, so i could probably tell you all about it in french.

if i could remember.

Former Member

what exactly are the other rights you have once married?

Former Member

er...let me do a search cos it's all in my french notes from 2 years ago!

Former Member

Originally posted by morrocan roll
then my advice to you would be ...don't bother getting married.

Good job there's no plans of marriage on the horizon then;)

Former Member

cheers im suddenly intrested in this subject

gives me soemthign to do while off work sick lol

Former Member

Legal benefits of Marriage

that should give you some idea...what i had for french was better though, it compared everything. if i cba to get my french stuff out before this thread dies, ill get that for you.

this next paragraph comes from another article on the above site about co-habiting partners.

If one of us dies, how much property will the survivor inherit? Usually nothing, unless the deceased partner made a will or used another estate planning device such as a living trust or joint tenancy agreement. In a very few states -- California, Hawaii and Vermont -- registered domestic partners may automatically inherit a portion of a deceased partner's property, but domestic partnership laws carry numerous restrictions and are by no means the safest or easiest way to plan for inheritance. The bottom line is simple: to protect the person you live with, you should specifically leave property using a will, living trust or other legal document

Former Member

p.s. i know those examples are american but it's really not that different over here!

Former Member

Originally posted by rossco
cheers im suddenly intrested in this subject

gives me soemthign to do while off work sick lol

what ...get married!

Former Member

Originally posted by Blnde_BombShell
Not meaning to hi-jack your thread but I have a question on marriage.

Can someone make you marry them?? (ive asked a few friends about this and of course they say no, you can't make someone marry you) But I'm still worried that it is possible. What if the person has your parents consent and everything? and you've told the person NO, time and time again, can they force you to marry them? Sorry this is a lame question but I just need a bit of reassurance that there's no way it's possible.

No, you cant get married against your will.
Of course some people get coerced into it or pressurised, and of course there are arranged marriages, but none of it happens without both parties saying `I do`.

Former Member

Originally posted by rainbow brite
No, you cant get married against your will.
Of course some people get coerced into it or pressurised, and of course there are arranged marriages, but none of it happens without both parties saying `I do`.

shotgun weddings still happen in these hills though ...seriously.

Former Member

To me, marriage is like the ultimate compliment.

Obviously it's about so much more than that, but the fact that someone would be willing to commit to spend the rest of their life to being with me, that's just so unbelievably hard to get my head around.

At the mo, I'm well insecure about women and stuff, so I suppose marriage would mean a lot more to me than a bit of paper.

Och, I know what I mean.

Former Member

Originally posted by morrocan roll
shotgun weddings still happen in these hills though ...seriously.

Yeah, hills as in streets near my house. My friend's cousin was pretty much forced into marrying a girl he got pregnant, by both sets of parents. I felt so sorry for him. Granted he should have been more careful, but it's not necessary for them to marry, just for him to be there.

Anyhoo, I'm of the view that marriage is right for some people and not others, and that it's not something to be taken lightly at all. I can't comment anymore than that really, I don't have personal experience and the marriages around me (family, friends..) have been a mixed bag, some terrible, some amazing and a lot inbetween.