If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Age Difference?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
To cut a story short.
Fallen in love with a lovely girl and she feels the same.
The problem... shes 16 and im nearly 25.
Nearly nine years difference.
Too me i see it as a large age gap and feel i should go out with someone my own age.
But i cant help stop thinking about her and she feels the same.
Im stuck in a ruck.
What are your opinions on age differences?
Does it matter?
Cheers.
Fallen in love with a lovely girl and she feels the same.
The problem... shes 16 and im nearly 25.
Nearly nine years difference.
Too me i see it as a large age gap and feel i should go out with someone my own age.
But i cant help stop thinking about her and she feels the same.
Im stuck in a ruck.
What are your opinions on age differences?
Does it matter?
Cheers.
0
Comments
To me, I think it depends on maturity, she might be really mature for her age but most people would frown upon the age difference. Personally, i think you should try and find a girl your own age, but, what can I say, whos not a sucka for love?
I personally think the age difference would probs cause problems. She is only 16, she is going to want to have fun, go out with her mates and do stuff that younger people do. Your 25, probably wanting to do what adults do like go to the pub ?
Nah, I think she is too young for you..........sorry.
If she was in her 20's and you were in your 30's then things would be different but as it stands a 16 yr old with a 25 yr old is just too much of a gap.
Its in my mind all the time thats shes too young for me to be honest.
I guess we will have to have a chat.
16 and 25 is just too big a gap.
Crap as it is, it just ain't right to start a relationship.
Okay, I agree to that to some extent, but there's a bout 12 years between my Dad and his Fiancee. Do you still see that as a problem?
I dont think theres a lot of hope but if you both really like each other then go for it - just dont hold out any false hopes.
I'm taking a wild guess here that your dad is at least in his 30's (most likely 40's) which would mean that his fiance is in her 20's or 30's. Soooooooo not an issue then.
16 and 25 is still just wrong to my eyes. Legally it's fine. Morally, for me, it's wrong as she still has a hell of a lot of living and growing up to do which he has already done!
My Dad's in his late 40's and his fiancee's in her early 30's. You say it's fine in her 20's to 30's - so at 18, 19 it wouldn't be acceptable?!
I think it's fine aslong as they understand what they want and love eachother.
To me, somebody of say, 18/19 seeing somebody of 23/24 is pretty much ok. They are a bit closer in mentality. Oh - and no, I don't think it's really right somebody of 19/20 seeing somebody in their 30's - but mid 20's would be fine. Again - mental gaps. When it comes down to this though, in this case they are both consenting adults.
People always forget that people change a huge amount over the ages of 16-18/19. The way they look at things, act etc etc etc.
Your dad and his fiance are not an issue - I really don't know why you brought that up to be honest! You *know* that an age gap at that age is just not an issue!
You are still a minor up until you are 18. I honestly think that anybody under 18 should really stick to people of roughly the same age! Somebody of 16 should not, in my eyes, be seeing somebody older than say, 19 as from then on the difference is just too great.
Rainbowbrite - they are NOT both adults - he is, she isn't. That, to me is a pretty decisive factor in my reasoning...
People are always trying to grow up too quickly.
I would personally leave the girly to enjoy her teenage years as she should be. Nothing personal but go for somebody closer to your own age.
G.
The maths doesn't work girly!
Up to you - I'd personally say don't becuase I reckon it will backfire.
I don't agree with g_angel007 's "laws", there is no set down rule of how much you relate to each other at what age. That is just a massive generalisation of peoples mentality at different ages. Everyone grows up and matures differently. You'll find a 16yr old who acts like a 12yr old and you'll find a 16yr old that acts like a 20yr old. You just can't say everyone is the same cos they are not. Ok Boy-oh
I'm not far off being 22, my GF's just turned 17, I've being with her 2yrs. We get on excellently, doesn't really fit into your "rules" :
Ok - so you were 19/20 and your girlfriend was 15?! I'm not *surprised* that you don't agree with me as you're LIVING what I'm talking about FFS!! lol!
Your situation is not exactly the same though. 21 and 17 is SOOOO not the same as 16 and 25! 4 years to 9 years - bit of a difference matey. I know how I have changed even over the last couple of years etc... I just think that much of a gap (9 years is HUGE) is just far too much, far too young!
Oh - they're not my laws, just my opinion - which is something that I am free to state on here.
My current situation is I am 24 and my lass is 26. All good. I'm not looking at this from the perspective of somebody a lot older, frowning upon the younger generation, I just know that there is no way that I, personally, would even consider embarking upon anything with anybody under the age of around 22 to be honest. Personal opinion. Not law. Simple.
Really though - I'm 25 in a couple of months and I've chatted to a few girls in clubs etc that have turned out to be very young and mentally they just haven't had it up there which shows! It's just something that comes with age/experience etc etc.= hence why I'm with a woman that's a little older.
Oh - and no, I wouldn't have dreamed of seeing somebody of 17 when I was 21... and definitely never with anybody under 16 if I was any much older than 16. This is just something I feel strongly about... People trying to grow up too young and 'missing out' on their childhood.
Ah - opinions and opinions. I just think that at his age he should be looking at somebody that will have more in common in general.
G.
i doubt it would work out and really she is a child. but hey, give it a go theres nowt to lose.
My opinion is to go for it mate, you may come across a lot of narrow minded people who can't see past the "age difference" but fuck em, follow your heart, you are not doing anything lawfully or morally wrong imo.
My Girl mates dad is getting married to a girl the same age as my mate. Good for him, she is a nice looking lass and I just hope I can still pull em like that when i reach his age.
Of course you can have *something* in common with somebody 9 years younger than you at that age, but I just don't see exactly how you could have enough to hold a relationship together!
I'm not narrow minded at all, either (you'd be bloody surprised if I told all)... This is just something I have strong opinions on! Heh... I would not be able to sit there and listen to her chunter on about what her and her mates did at school that day when i've most likely got mortgage issues etc on my mind. Just two different worlds, two far apart.
............I was gonna mention her going on about who fancies who or bitching about somebody - then I remembered that women just carry on doing than anyway, it's not soley reserved to teenagers! HAhhahahahaahahaha
I've said my piece - I just don't think he should bother. Too much, too young.
i know 25 year old guys, and i have been a 16 year old girl, and there is a massive difference between what they expect in a relationship.
she's just a kid. she probably has a million crushes a day, and will fall desperately in love every 12 seconds. she wants a bit of fun, nothing too serious, no pressure. wants to hang out with her mates lots, be silly, do things that young girls do.
he's 25. he's maybe getting to a point in his life where he's starting to take responsibility. maybe thinking about buying a house, or possibly settling down with a girl? thinking about his career, those kinds of things. he's more likely to want a mature relationship - sex, nights out, diy on a sunday? seems great now, but when the novelty has worn off, her giggly immaturity is really going to get on his tits.
when i was 16, i was seeing a 19 year old, and even that turned out to be too much of a gap. and i was fairly mature for my age, and he was pretty immature. still too different.
maybe in a few year, when she's an adult, it'll be a different story. but now my prediction is for trouble.
But i know someone who is my age (23) and he's seeing a 16 year old and it just doesn't seem right. Mainly because she's a very immature 16 and he's a slag who's arse the sunshines out of because she's too young to realise what he's like. This is where i think age gaps matter, maybe because the youngsters haven't got experience behind them to judge the situation as well. But to be truthful he's fooled many women and not all of them 16.
I'd probably say hey why not but that's me, i've never had problems with age gaps when it comes to me dating people. I would have to say that though as my partners 39
At 16 I think its up to her who she sees, and if she wants to go out with a 25 year old, then theres nothing wrong with that, all im saying is that it probably wont last, but she might not be bothered about that - hes likely to be more bothered about that possibility at his age. I dont think its ideal to have a large age gap like that, but its definitely not morally wrong unless one person is coercing the other, and it would be wrong if they got together and he made her grow up before her time.
he looks like he really likes her and has some morals so poor him... but maybe in a couple of years time :P
When i was 16 I was seeing a kid of 23, my dad didnt really like it but i carried on anyway cuz i liked him. We only lasted 4 months cuz we both wanted different things. When i was 18 I got with my current fella who was 25, which is almost a 7 year age gap again bar a few months, but we've been together gettin on two years now, and were still happy. My dad gets on with him really well and isnt really bothered bout the age gap now.
So at the end of the day its totally up to you and how u feel
well, i think she's 34 and he's 47 so that equals 13. no need to be picky.
edited to say, i only said 'about 12 years'.
I normally agree with a lot of what you say but at 16 she aint an adult, she is a teenager, even if she is a mature 16 yr old it dont make no difference. She's an adult when she's 18.
There's 8 year's difference between me and my guy, and even at 25 and 33, the issue comes up every now and then (although, it does make things spicy!). It's a factor we must be sensitive about every time a major decision is made. It takes patience, bravery and a deep willingness to be understanding (not just with each other, but with everyone in your community that it will effect) for something like that to work. Life doesn't need to be that heavy. Give it time. Besides, waiting makes the take that much sweeter.
some people would say you're not an adult till you're 21 though. i suppose when you're 18, you're still a teenager 'cause you're eighteen but i never hear people say you're an adult when you're 20. maybe the teen bit has nothing to do with it afterall!
actually, they've split now...and she's with a guy who's more than 8 years apart from her... haha.
I don't think the age gap makes a difference at all, if you feel right together then it shouldn't be an issue