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it was exactly put in them terms was it
cud u think of a better way? ther was no nice way to end it.
You asked a question that question then answered it yourself. You might as well not ask for any advice as you obviously do not need it.
For someone who wants advice, you are a bit of a tit towards the people who are trying to help.
why don't you open your eyes and read what I said?
I said "av i done the right thing? and IIFFFF yes,......................Did I do it the right way?
I'm asking 2 questions,
1) Did I do the right thing ( Yes/No)
2) Was there a better way of doing it? (Yes/No)
The Doc Horatio was expressing a perfectly good opinion. That is, you haven't necessarily finished things properly with her just by telling her to leave you alone. The way you reacted was way overboard, in my opinion.
But seeing as you apparently can't take anyone's opinions or advice unless it's structured in exactly the way you want it:
1) Yes I think you did the right thing. You made it clear that you don't want to carry on the friendship and keep getting hurt/messed around by her flirting and her games. She seems to be fishing a little by asking you what you would do if she broke up with the boyfriend. She wanted you to say that would change things, but you've made it clear that you can't go back now.
2) Did you do it in the right way? Well, from a complete outsider's point of view, I would say that a better way would be to cut her off completely rather than having a text/MSN argument with her, but I know how hard that is. After a while you just get so wound up you have to let everything come out. So in an ideal world you would have just ignored her but that's too hard to do. Bearing that in mind, I think you handled it pretty well. Just don't be tempted to keep texting/MSNing/arguing with her now. If you do send her texts, keep them simple and as inoffensive as possible (ie don't use lots of swearing etc) so that she can't show them to her boyfriend and make out like you're hassling her. I'm sure you know what I mean. If you're replying to a text of hers, make it obvious somehow in the text that it's a reply to something from her, so that if she does show him then he'll know she started it.
And lisa's 1st paragraph, I strongly agree with. We are not your enbemy, dont treat us like that/ You obviuosly have little respect for a lot of us, yet we are the ones you are seeking advice from.
Yeah that's true. It's so much better to ignore her completely. But it's just too tempting to try and have the last word and reply to them, isn't it? Having said that, I do think you should stop texting Sarah otherwise you can't really claim that it's all her doing, can you? You've said what needs to be said - anything else is just feeding it.
Amen, sister.
Also, something I meant to say a while back. Do not even THINK about going out with Rachel to make Sarah jealous. That would make you a complete wanker. And before you jump down my throat I'm not saying you're going to do that, just suggesting that you really think about why you're going to go out with Rachel and make sure revenge isn't on your mind.
That's me done.
wel what can I say? I can only apologise for my behavviour with people. I undestand and appreciate 100% that you're advising me in the best way possible and I thank you very very much ( Apart from Molo who is simply missing the point and is in his/her own world)
I can only say that if I did continue to ignore her I knew it would not have ended, she would not have given up and she would have got Rachel involved, telling her to ring me and pass messages on from her. My reply was the only way to end it. If I had ended up picking the phone up, I don't know what I would have said and that may have sounded like threatenning behaviour because I knew I would have screammed down the phone to her, which is why I thought if I txtd, I had control of my words, wont say anything without thinking and be able to make the same point without swearing ( which I probably cud not do if done on the phone)
I am going to go out with Rachel next week, but like I always planned it is a friend thing, my way of forgetting about all that has happened and I suppose my way of thanking her for her support and for the fact that she has still been my friend and not changed her opinion of me.
If me and Rach got together eventually, it would be because we would want to. I would not choose to do it to spite Sarah. That isn't me. I wouldn't do that to a person.
Thanks again ppl for all the advice.
Before you read this I do apologise in advance because after I posted my last thread I was sure it was over but I've been proved wrong yet again. She aint giving up whatsoever.
She's jus txtd wit
"Take it ur not replyin to my mail.
( which unknown to her i blocked her mail ages ago)
"spoke to rach today, she was saying shes been chattin to you a lot, lucky her ey? told me u said u didnt wanna talk to me jus like you told me urself. Makes it somewhat more real hearing it from her. I'll never understand you. Hope ya ok Txbk X.
What the hell is she doing? Has she really got mush for brains she can't figure it out?
Now I think the only way to stop it is to txt him and say "tel ur gf to stop txtin and pestering me plz. I know that would do the trick.
Does that sound harsh or not?
Don't do that! Just ignore the messages, simple as really. It might be difficult to do it, but if you just ignore them she's bound to get the picture eventually.
If she texts you, ignore it and delete it, do it for every message from her - no ones forcing you to reply.
I think if you sent her boyfriend a message she's just text you about doing that as well.
Ignore them!
hi again.
Wel the impression I'm getting now is that she seems to be sending me a msg per week. I don't konw what she is doing thinking she can get round me to talking to her again. it said
Hi how r u? ow was ur 1st day back at college? mine was awful. My auntie's got the photos developed of me,u and phil before his 18th, just thought i'd tell you txt bk plz X
It's making me ill how she can just think everything's ok like when I said i didnt wanna talk to her I was messing around. And why the hell would I want to know about a picture with his face on it?
I deleted it like I've dont with the other ones but it really is making me ill. I don't wanna talk to rachel about it cos me n her talk loads anyway now without mentioning her.
Why can't she realise that if me n her were friends again I would not just stand by and let the same things happen, with him aving a go at her. I would probably end up kissing her and/or hitting him.
That's why I don't want any contact with her.
Should I even block her number? Cos this aint stopping. I thought after last week it might but its gunna be at least one msg per week, one too many for me.
could you help me again please?
hi ppl.
Hope everyone's ok.
Wel I would like to share something I received from someone on Saturday night in my email.
I firstly apologise to everyone for this because, no prizes for guessing who this mail is from.(sarah).
She has made some attempts still at getting back in touch with me and , although I stil think about her and still miss her, I know I should have nothing to do with her anymore.
Then on sat night she emailed me with a bleedin poem.
I read it and it bascially said "i love you" in it about 5 times. My heart was beating for a while because, yes it was very moving, but then I just calmed down and just tried to think why has she done that? I later worked out where she had got the poem from because I knew she hadn't wrote it. It was a poem dedicated to the victims of 9/11 and every website says that the poem can be sent to a lost loved one.
http://www.yourmorganhill.com/ourtroops/TheLastTime.htm
I was tempted to reply saying "finish him, then we'll talk" but I didn't because it wouldn't have mattered what I would have said, the fact that I replied would put the smile back on her face because she would know she's got me back.
I could only conclude with that she did or does love me like I loved her. And for the people who know all the history regarding this, they will know how long this has been going on. There is a slight possibility that i may just still be a friend thing, but she should have more sense to figure out that friends will not happen, not in this case and not with him in the picture. If me n her got talking again, 2 things will happen, Me and her would end up kissing and I would get nasty with him because the same thing will revolve around.
I'm sure I've done the right thing, but wot do you ppl make of it?
( take time to click on the link and read the poem plz)
To me, sarah sounds attention seeking and immature, and someone you'd be better off without. don't bother with her - she doesn't seem worth the effort. Don't get trapped into playing games with her... walk away and find someone better.