second chances

Former Member

if someone has cheated in the past, do you think they are more likely to cheat than someone who never has?

and do you think people deserve the chance to regain trust and make amends?

Former Member

I wouldn't give anyone a second chance. From experience if they've cheated on you before they're quite likely to do it again

Former Member

Yes. If they've got a past history of cheating, or have cheated on you before, then there is a greater chance of them cheating on you. I've seen it time and time again with friends, and from personal experience of being cheated on. :mad:
I've never given anyone a second chance when it comes to cheating.

Former Member

just no. no no no no no no no no no

i can't say it enough. no no no no no no no no no.

god no

Former Member

i didnt say they had cheated on me.

and i've cheated before, but i'd not do it again. i learnt from my mistake

Former Member

I don't know..... I have a friend who cheated on her boyfriend when drunk at a party - she felt so guilty about it and I honestly think she learned her lesson. If someone cheats and still thinks it's ok then yeah I'd agree, but I also believe that it's possible for a cheater to learn from their mistakes. She's the most faithful person I can think of now, so....

Former Member

i've cheated loads in the past and always got away with it. i'm not proud of that but since then i've grown up quite a bit, i have experienced love and i would never want to cheat again.

Former Member

Originally posted by lipsy
i would never want to cheat again.

thats how i feel too.

i think i deserve chances to prove i'd not do it again, so surely others deserve the same?

Former Member

Originally posted by blonde__batman
i think i deserve chances to prove i'd not do it again, so surely others deserve the same?

No one deserves the chance to prove they wouldn't do it again. It just depends if you're lucky enough to find someone you will give you a second chance.

Former Member

Originally posted by Faith
No one deserves the chance to prove they wouldn't do it again. It just depends if you're lucky enough to find someone you will give you a second chance.

so if someone makes a mistake years ago when they were 14 or 15, for the rest of their live they shouldnt be trusted because they cheated once a LONG time ago?

Former Member

If they have cheated at an earlier time with someone else then the next person they are with could be just right for them and won't cheat.

If they have cheated on you before then chances are they will do it again over and over. Well that's from my experience anyways and no I've never cheated.

Former Member

I think everything that happened when one was a teenager should not be taken too seriously.

I mean, when are people supposed to try & understand what it means to be in a relationship, to have sex (not intercourse specificly), etc. ?

so imo cheating back in highschool ain't a big deal unless you haven't changed of course.

on the other hand, if one is willing to cheat then one should maybe quit the current relationship first or at least talk to the partner about spicing it up somehow (don't mention cheating though ) and then try NOT to hit the sheets with someone else till things are settled.

Former Member

thats the thing tho, the person im talkin about cheated when we were 15, thats 2 years ago now, almost 3. ok yes he cheated on me. but to be honest i didnt really care all that much and it wouldnt have worked out anyways, but now its differnt. we're much older and much more mature. and he's a really good friend of mine but he said to me that he wants to prove to me that i can trust him

Former Member

If he's cheated on you once then he is more than likely willing to do it again. It might not happen instantly but if you meant so much to you he wouldn't have even cheated once on you.

If you just want to be with someone non serious then go for it but if you want more and you get together then it'll more than likely end in tears and it won't be him crying.

Former Member

Originally posted by Eeyun
If he's cheated on you once then he is more than likely willing to do it again. It might not happen instantly but if you meant so much to you he wouldn't have even cheated once on you.

i agree with the last sentence but not the first. just because someone's cheated once doesn't mean they'll do it again. he was 15 when this happened so he's likely to have matured in that time on a lot of different levels -relationships being one of them.

when i used to cheat it was from the ages of 15-17. i didn't particularly want relationships but ended up in them anyway. as a result i wouldn't really care about the guy i was with and so would go out clubbing and pull other guys. i knew he wouldn't find out and i didn't even feel guilty!

but i've grown up, i've matured, i want different things and i know that it was an awful thing to do. personally i believe in giving people second chances.

Former Member

That's why I said more than likely, he might have matured a bit but if he got tempted and cheated once with her what's to stop him again.

Former Member

Originally posted by Eeyun
That's why I said more than likely, he might have matured a bit but if he got tempted and cheated once with her what's to stop him again.

the reasons i just gave. i understand what you're saying though. perhaps it's not a good idea for her to go into ex-territory anyway but it was a couple of years ago now.

Former Member

he told me about it and seemed genuinly sorry but i ended it there and then.

but that was nearly three years ago now. im not sayin i will get with him or anything, just that if the time came and we wanted to get back together, i think he deserves a second chance

Former Member

I have cheated once in the past. But I only did it because I wasn't happy with who I was with at the time.

I never told him. I suppose if he had found out he would have given me a second chance, only because I knew he was mad about me. The relationship was new, and I was in a huff with him because he blew me off to come out for babysitting his DOG

However, I know I sound really like a hypocrite, but I wouldn't take anyone back if they cheated on me at all. They've broken that trust and shared feelings and emotions that they were meant to do with me.

I wouldn't cheat on anyone now, not even for cheap thrills. I'd be crushed if someone cheated on me ;(

Former Member

but if u cheated years ago, and broke up with that person but stayed friends anyway. and then in time u got feelings for each other again, you'd want him to take you back wouldnt you? and you'd know that you'd not ever cheat again now?

Former Member

I think part of it depends on when and how you cheated. I cheated on my boyfriend really early on in the relationship (although it was only a kiss at a party rather than anything prolonged) and regret it very much. Now, we have been together a while I would never cheat or consider it in any way shape or form.

Former Member

Originally posted by blonde__batman
but if u cheated years ago, and broke up with that person but stayed friends anyway. and then in time u got feelings for each other again, you'd want him to take you back wouldnt you? and you'd know that you'd not ever cheat again now?

That did happen, pet. I cheated on James and I fancied him again, and that was a good few years that passed between us before we both began to feel anything at all. We'd both matured and wanted to be together. But, he'd went from good to bad - he cheats ALL the time. He ended up going out with some mad shiney faced cow who looks like a man and I'm sure he'll cheat on her soon enough once the honeymoon period's over.

I suppose I CAN'T guarantee I won't cheat on the bloke I'm with now. I don't think anyone can, there's just that one moment in time where your judgment goes out the window and you sieze a stupid chance you wouldn't normally get.

It's not the nicest thing to do to someone and I'd be honestly hurt if Scott cheated on me. I mean, he got with me because he cheated on his ex. I can't say I am positive he won't cheat, and I don't think anyone can. I'm sure one way or another once they 'honeymoon' period of being with someone fades and you get into a boring routine you'll want a change and you may or may not cheat.

Anyways, this was a long, pointless spiel. lmao. If you both feel you've matured and want to give it a go, then by all means. Just remember how it ended the last time - but keep that at the back of your mind and enjoy the time just now.

Former Member

If they have cheated beofre, what's stopping them doing it again. It's all about trust and if the trust isn't there you are going to be torturing yourself wondering what he is doing when you are not together.

If you trust him and want to go out with him then do it, if you have doubts then why bother? Find someone else. It's not like you couldn't attract another bloke is it?

Former Member

Well being someone who cheated on my boyf, i deeply regretted it when i did, and lost him for a while, couldnt risk doing that again!

I was given a second chance and now we've been 2gether for almost 4years and ive loved everyday and we're getting married in August, cant wait!

love kandy xx

Former Member

If my girlfriend was to cheat on me there is no way i'd take her back..... that is the one thing i cant stand!!! If she loved and respected you that much there would be no need for her to go somewhere else would there?

Former Member

Mark, you are so mean lol

if she was deeply sorry and beeged you you would lol!

ill shut up now

love kandy xx

Former Member

That is not being mean, that is being honest! Why would i want her back if she had shagged someone else?

Remember this is only my opinion U no wot i think of ur "situations" lol

Former Member

my situations......that is soooooo nasty see told you u were mean!

hehehe!

love kandy x

Former Member

U no wot i mean tho lol

I suppose i am a wee bit nasty..... go on then, bad smacks 4 me!!!!

Former Member

hahahaha! ill bend you over my knee and smack your bum! lol

love kandy xx

Former Member

Plz dont!!!!!

Y dont i bend u over and *** my **** into your *****????

Does that sound appealling????